My FIL is living with us while he's recovering from open heart surgery. My MIL is in ALF. I feel like my kids are not getting the attention they need. My husband's support comes and goes - he works for the government, so I'm trying to be understanding. The MIL's family has finally started visiting her - I thought this would be a good thing (I could visit less focus on my own family) but instead it's turned into a judgment jamboree! The phone calls and visits to tell me what I'm doing wrong or what MIL needs. It drives me crazy and upsets my FIL. I would blow off their comments but my FIL comes up with ideas constantly to help her from my house. (I had to take the phone away). So I now he brings me the "ideas" and I literally go down his list either explaining why we can't do it or adding it to my to-do list. I want to start limiting her visitors but scared I'm just being selfish. It does wear her out when too many people visit for too long. The next day is generally pretty rough. I've tried to explain it but her family (they've been no help, not visiting or anything until now) don't get it or maybe just don't care.
To help at home I've tried and tried but thr FIL only wants things his way on his time line. We've talked and argued but he always goes back to a$$hole mode - which keeps the kids abd my husband away from him. I feel like I'm now the "unpaid help" to my family, my Fil and MIL.
I have no idea how to get my life back.