Bad day blues, how do you cope?

One of my favorite things to do on a bad day, when I feel burnt out and once in a while feel guilty for my anger, is come here to share, read, and be told that I am normal, it happens.  Then I start doing a few of the things I read below.

GrannieAnnie said it. It is normal. Maybe not the normal we were used to. But it's the new normal.

Leave guilt alone. No place in all of this. And the naked dancing? Can be a bit freeing!!! LOL

What Grandma said is spot on! Also, I get outside and work in the yard , ride my horses, or give them a good grooming if I can't ride. Do you have a dog? Take it for a long walk. I, too, journal, and it is very helpful. I recommend you get back to doing it. Mostly, take care of your physical and mental health. You are no good to your LO or yourself if you are burned out, and NEVER EVER feel GUILTY about taking time for yourself. That has been the hardest part for me, but once I accepted that I HAD to have that time, nothing will keep me from enjoying it. Blessings, and hope tomorrow and the next day and the next are better

Actually my bad day was living with my mother out of state DUE TO NO OTHER OPTION to provide care for her & when I was having a difficult night, my daughter who stayed back in my home state (with her own family) found this forum for me. That was almost 6 years ago.

The only thing that helps me is exercise. Whether it's stretching alone to getting to the gym, I find a relief. The more consistent I am, the better I feel. Wish it was more exciting than that! Hang in there.... prayers coming your way.

So many wonderful answers here and I know well all need them at one time or another.

Someone mentioned staying Connected. So huge. I walk with friends just about every day. It’s therapy for all of us.

Also, consider getting a coffee drink (or whatever) from your local coffee place a couple days a week. There are some serious regulars at ours. Me included. I stop in every day after my walk and there is a table of people (young and old) who didn’t know one another before meeting there. Now they gather regularly and chit chat and play with a toddler that grandma brings. Regulars are at every coffee place you can think of. Trust me.

Alwo,, This should’ve been at the top of the list, but church....Sunday, but also find a mid week group. Our church offers women’s bible study (which is nice and casual), but also exercise classes, knitting groups, cooking classes etc. We also have a counseling center with licensed therapists. Not sure if there’s a support group for caregivers there, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

it sounds time consuming, but you have to somehow make time for you. You have to care for YOU before you can care for someone else. ❤️

People mentioned humor...

Check out Jim Gaffigan on YouTube or probably on your tv somewhere. He’s hilarious and clean and very self deprecating.

After watching some some funny comedians put on your super hero costume (because that’s what you are) and get back at it! In fact...they should have a caregiver uniform in a super hero style! :)

Hello...
Hope this helps. Just a few of the things I do at the end of a bad "caregiver" day.
1. Pray and tell God how I feel, word for word (😁sometimes bad words- then ask for forgiveness).
I also cry and allow myself to cry, pout and be upset (to myself and try not to take it out on Mom)
2. Scream real loud, holler, scream and then start laughing. 🤣😅🤣 I do this in my car because I don't want to alarm my neighbors.
3. Eat UTZ plain potato chips. Stop at Dollar Tree and buy a bag and enjoy. UTZ has the least amount of sodium. It's a treat. Find a treat that's good and healthy for you and you enjoy. I love Dark chocolate too.
4. Load my CD player with much of my favorite music... listen and sing until I get tired...
5. Do an exercise video, jump rope in back yard, bend and stretch or march in place while looking at t.v.
6. Epsom salt bath. OMG-lavendar.
One or any combination of the above to help shake off the uglies. Feel free to add on to the list...🤗😘😂😂

Watch a movie so bad it's good, ie sci-fi movie from 60s, Dr GoldFoot and the Bikini Machine

Sending you a cyber hug, it is a very difficult job. . There are bad days and then good moments it seems like. I found some counselors that I can talk freely with.. My work provides them and then also found a student who is free that my mom and I go to. I also try to keep communication open with her caregivers, this way I know in my head that I'm headed in the right direction even though things seem like chaos around me. I'm afraid I developed a thick skin with family that disapprove and don't help.. I think this journey has burned some bridges I don't care to ever rebuild. And if they feel the same, I'm fine with that too.
Other quick ways to calm a rattled day:
1) come here and read about others in the same situation and sadly, some have even bigger challenges..read the encouraging responses.
2)add a post and try to send encouraging words to someone else.
3) my room is my get away, I sit and have Alexa play my relaxing playlist. I love Tim Mcgraws be humble and kind.
4)watch a movie, watch a TV show, read a book.
5) watch funny animal video's on YouTube.

My journal is my first go to for emotional support. I can get it all out in writing and put it behind me. I never go back.

After more than three years of going it alone, I finally joined a support group that deals with mental health issues.  I have attended about three meetings so far, and oddly enough, I look forward to going even though I am the only person present who is dealing with a parent diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's Disease.  I also have medical background which helps me realize that I needed help before now but just could not fit it into my schedule until I finally HAD to fit it in.  Knowing that you are not in this alone helps because others are going through it too.  You are unique in your situation most likely because no one is YOU other than yourself, but we are ALL facing similar situations, so you can see how others might view something differently than you do, and they might come up with some tidbit of information or a suggestion that might just tip the scales in your favor.  At least it is an outlet to vent, if nothing else.  Try it and see.  There are many groups out there if you don't like the first one you attend.  Mine is through the church I attend, but it is not like going to a church service.  It meets at the church as a matter of  a centralized place to go for the area in which all of us live--a convenience to us.

All responses are excellent except journaling sounds like another "job" on my to do list and guilt if I don't do it. Really don't want any more to do. After I make sure spouse is safe and comfortable (usually with a caregiver watching over, just in case) I determine the dog needs an outing so we go for a hike and some fresh air!
My attitude is a whole lot improved when we return in an hour or so and I can face reality with a new outlook.
Works for me!

Qi gong. I find videos on Youtube and they’re usually around 15-20 minutes. Flowy, easy movements which require coordinating your breathing with them, thus an exercise in mindfulness . I always feel better afterwards.

Have a cupa go for a walk,when I have bad day,if I can I jump on bus and go to town,youl cope we always do take care alan

Acceptance is my only answer to bad days. Yesterday I had a bout of depression (nothing specific) so bad that honestly, every spare second I spent either sleeping or reading. The bad days come; fighting them just makes them worst. Try to give yourself points for the days that are NOT bad, that you do well and accomplish some of what you need to. Know that the bad days will come, and recognize there will again be good moments in the future; this just isn't one of them.

Gardening !!! 'petting to death' my two amazing cats and Fetzer's Savignon Blanc!
so very therapeutic... Growing Early Girls ( "tomato forest") in large half barrel containers is my sanity savior from taking care of my now 91 years old mom, going on 8 years! If you love fresh veggies and your climate permits, there's nothing like putting on a pair of gardening gloves and 'digging' in mother nature's soil. My brain literally turns OFF from everything except what I'm planting, trimming, watering or fertilizing. Unfortunately I can only do that when my friend is inside the house monitoring mom 3 times a week. I have no one else to depend on, no siblings, boyfriend or husband. I cherish those days. I also plant zucchini, Muscat grapes in half barrels that are now 4 years 'old' and, love the 'pickling cucumbers' for salads, not pickling, they have so much more flavor !
There is, truly, nothing more calming and satisfying than gardening.

best thing is have a cupa remember the you care for is with you still, two sugars in my cup please love alan

when I get those days I have cup of tea and if I can go in garden go for a walk or go shopping take my mind of things,if none of this works,i seek help from carrer support,it might seem that it never ends trust me it does,take care alan

when I get those days I have cup of tea and if I can go in garden go for a walk or go shopping take my mind of things,if none of this works,i seek help from carrer support,it might seem that it never ends trust me it does,take care alan

A majority of these answers talk about getting out or away for a break. When I was caring for my dad, I could not leave. . . ever! The only times I got out was to grocery shop (taking dad with me) or taking dad to his doctor appointments.  With siblings who refused to lift a finger, I had no help and no one to give me time off. I found inner peace by pursuing a hobby that I could do at home while still keeping an eye out and ears open for dad. It can be anything that gives you pleasure and enables you to find your self identity again for a few minutes or hours. I did sewing and needle work, scrapbooking and also worked on family genealogy. Those personal activities kept me sane.