Bad day blues, how do you cope?

A dish of ice cream sometimes helped. ..sometimes it was a whole pint!
Did you do the best you could on those "bad days"?
In reality could your bad day get worse? ..
Read some of the posts here and realize that you don't have the worst day..I read some of these and thank God that I had it pretty easy all things considered.
I think about some of the problems that members of my support group have and again I am thankful for what I had.

Whenever you do cope with a bad day and figure out how to make things right or easier pass that info on let others learn from you.

Another great way is to Journal about each day and make sure you include good things, funny things and not just the frustrations. But use the Journal to vent as well. As you Journal do look back and remind yourself what you THOUGHT was a bad day 3 months ago really was nothing compared to today. And in another 5 or 6 months you will look back on today and realize it really wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time. We all need time to shape or reshape our perspective.

Every single one of us who cares for someone gets frustrated, depressed and just plain mad. These feelings are always lurking in the corner of our minds. Whether or not we let them take over our lives is up to us. If we search out negativity, we will find it, especially in today’s world.

We are partly responsible for what happens to us during our days. However, we are not 100% “at fault”. I care for my husband and he has some days that he is whiny and demanding, or just dealing with negative feelings of his own which can get passed on to me. Those are the days that even the birds singing outside can p**s me off. If I let those days define me, those kinds of days come more and more often.

On my own, I have taught myself to not sweat the small stuff. No one comes over, so if there are dishes in the sink, I don’t worry. They’ll get done...eventually. House is messy? Oh, well. Who will see? Three words I tell myself on those days, “I don’t care.” I do what I can. I care for my husband 24/7/365. Because he is immobile, we go nowhere and do nothing. I handle absolutely everything. I make 99.9% of decisions and handle whatever comes up. I also work 25 hours a week in the baby room of a daycare. If there’s dust on the tables at home or piles of dog/cat fur in the corners, you got it—“I don’t care.” There are no roaches in my house.

If you've spent the day doing the best you can, go to bed with a good book and congratulate yourself for a job well done. It’s all you can do.

My go-tos were junk food and booze, but mostly junk food. (You didn't specify healthy options😂)

At the end of the day if no one has gone to the hospital and everyone is still breathing then it's been a good day...

I read on my Kindle. I've read 104 books so far this year because sometimes I'm up and down all night with my mother. Once I'm awake I have a difficult time falling back to sleep.

My sister and I play cutthroat Yahtzee.

I also do "projects" like knit in straight rows and paint with watercolors and tear paper out of catalogs and glue it on boxes and lampshades. I even made my own urn out of ripped paper and an oatmeal carton. :0)

And I eat gummy bears.

I get away and go to daily mass or the library. I love makeup and shopping for make up or fixing myself up can make my day. A brouse at Ross, brousing not buying, is lots is fun. Then there's the hot bath.

Vodka + Xanax = ahhh (in moderation and only if legally prescribed and then only after you've tried meditation and breathing techniques, and after not during a course of the current antidepressant of the week.) Well it made me smile lol.

Ahmijoy,

My absolute favorite answer!!!

Nothing I could add to that one! Thanks so much for this genuine reply!

Naps.

I just love naps.

My kids did a poster for mother's day one year and they listed all of 'mom's favorite things' and right after TAB, came "a long nap".

Yep, these kids know their mama.

And everything seems better after a nap.

I live in Hawaii. I go to the beach. Get in the water and chill out. I take mom with me. Good for her to get out in the fresh air.
Chill out with an old movie, popcorn and a glass of wine or whatever.
Listen to relaxing music. Take a walk, exercise, meditate. Call a friend. Hope something works for you. Hugs. I've had a lot of bad caregiving days with mom.

A shower with lavender soap, a coloring book with florals, a good book, or retro channel TV comedy. Telling myself to take things one day at a time and tomorrow is a new day....and always chocolate.

One of my mantras - without my faith and sense of humor, I'd be nowhere! I watch comedies, read humor, and share humor with others. It also helps with my mother, which brightens her mood. Reading is a great escape!
My support system of family and friends is also very helpful. I don't have to tell them my problems, although sometimes I do. Spending time with them helps me realize that I have a life separate from care giving.
Focusing on the positives in my life and making sure I see the beauty around me can lift me out of the bad days.
Chocolate, retail therapy (don't have to buy to enjoy), and acceptance help, too.
Delegating and getting help when needed is also a must. Taking care of oneself, in whatever ways mean the most (exercise, beauty, quiet time, etc.) are also important. Be kind to yourself in your internal dialogue, too. My go-to is "I'm doing my best." Try not to agree to things you know aren't good for yourself despite how important your loved one believes it to be. You can't be all things to all people or you have nothing left for yourself. Set boundaries that are realistic and give you peace.
I wish all of us the best in the highs and lows of care giving!

it is not their fault; it is not your fault. Bad days will continue to the end. I am also 52/365 mostly alone for the past six years. I just accept that tomorrow will be a worst day than today. Soooooo, today is the good day. Is it mind over matter or a fantasy world or a sleep stage and I may soon wake up. It is what it is and he/she is the one you love.

Please recognize that this "job" cannot be accomplished by everyone. You are doing what most can't!
I appreciate all the responses and I might add: 1) calling another who has similar or other challenges going on in their life and supporting them. 2) I found a caregiver's support group and I started another to help others...but also to help me. I learned that my challenges weren't as bad as I thought. Like this forum, I learn so much from my peers, my fellow travelers on this caregiving journey. 3) I try to remember that I am not alone. God is working through others, but I have to open the door to my heart to connect....and get out there physically, or through email, telephone or snail mail. 4) Oh yes, journaling is also helping. Writing down my thoughts and feelings gets them out of my head, so then my mind is not sabotaging my intentions. 5) When I'm in the middle of it, I sometimes forget that I do have a life apart from my husband, and he likely will leave the earth plane before me so I am planning and "working on" my next chapter. Sometimes it's just in my mind and sometimes it's actually getting out there and doing when I can. 6) Noticing other men and women are doing this "job" with grace and courage, encourages me. Others who aren't, respectfully look upon our actions in awe and wonder, offering help, wishing us the best and praying for us. We are not alone. You are not alone. This service is the highest form of love.

Go to Google Images and type in "very funny memes." If that doesn't work, "very funny animal memes." Laughter is the best medicine. Then take a nap.

I read a lot, too, for escapism. A local used bookstore has tons of selections for $1 each. Thrift stores can be good sources, too. Just look for interesting titles and covers. If one doesn't strike your fancy, you haven't lost much. Then pass them along to someone else.

Good luck. And yes, you're doing your best.

I love reading all the responses here!
I tend to unravel at the end of a bad day and want to cry over a lot of calories. But I really worry about my own health. Bad food on top of stress is a recipe for disaster and after the loved one is gone...I will suffer the results of my choices. Talking to someone who will listen to me and laugh with me is the best!
When I'm feeling really low the last thing i want to be around is a lot of really peppy girls in spandex BUT...going to the gym for a spin or yoga class is really good. If you have access to that and can manage to make yourself get inside i highly recommend giving it a try. You can cry at the same time and it will just blend right in with the sweat.
As far as books go...I love Angela's Ashes. It is my favorite.

I utilize a lot of positive self care strategies: gardening, bubble baths, a good movie or book, snuggling with my dogs but sometimes throwing myself a pity party is all that works - alcohol and lots of it maybe a benzodiazepine, too.

Music and take a walk outside or Music & walk or dance inside

Crying at night helped. It’s God‘s way to cure your blues. Think of it that you are preparing the ease of your grief after the death of your loved ones. Hugs.

Not recommending. But yesterday was savaged by my moms nutso ness (a term our English Friend Countrymouse liked) I stopped for a six back of beer at Trader Joes and downed it in short order

I plug in my ear buds and watch a few episodes of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Hilarious series on Amazon Prime.

I myself have days like that, go for a long walk if you can we all need a break from caring take the chance while you can.

I sit myself down and let myself get as low as possible. I really beat the bushes for issues that I cannot help. Nothing intrudes! Then I get up and go outdoors to see what the sky is doing.

Today, tomorrow, or any time (forget the past: it’s gone) the very best way I’ve found is two-fold…(1) Stay connected with friends outside of the role of caregiver, (2) Volunteer in a venue where you can provide genuine, caring service, and by that I mean doing something you enjoy and get positive feed-back.
We need to nurture ourselves as a priority, in the same way you’d get your car routinely serviced. In this case we are the car and without service we, just like the car, will break down and be of no use whatsoever.
As counter-intuitive as #2 sounds it makes biological and emotional sense. When we engage in anything where we get positive feed-back our biology responds with the release of a hormone/neurotransmitter called Oxytocin that makes us feel good, and there is no better way of overcoming the blues then that.

1. Walk and get out in nature
2. Listen to music - sometimes I need the upbeat stuff sometimes the calming stuff.
3. Learn how to belly breathe - you can google it.
4. Create a new recipe to take my mind off my worries.
5. Talk to a therapist.
6. Journal
7. Go to church and give it to God.
8. Hot bath with a book.
9. Call a friend.
10. Watch a comedy show on Netflix, or funny SNL sketches on Youtube. Anything to laugh.

Laugh

I have been watching YouTube videos of Gerry Brooks. Some are amusing, some days I laugh till I cry.

I enjoyed all the answers given so far. If 😢 crying or online shopping don't help you feel better, I like 💃dancing to silly songs like Lady Gaga's "poker face". (Cutting up my veggies for a salad is relaxing too). I may read "quora" or similar sites with different people's opinions about life. Grocery shopping on weekends here is fun, (with so many little children there), I enjoy their carefree nature. Even if some of them are rolling on the floor screaming, its still fun. God bless us all.

I’m my husbands caregiver and I’m feeling “beat up” myself, but don’t really have any answers for you. I also have migraines and chronic pain, so it’s hard to take care of myself and my husband. Thanks for listening, I feel a little better.❤️

Just breathe. Deep breaths. Hot bath, read, watch a funny silly movie or videos-that make no sense but you can't help but laugh at them because they are so ridiculous, DANCE to music like no one is watching (maybe naked?), take a walk, listen to baby and little kid laugh videos, have a cocktail or two (or three +, whatever it takes), journal. And, acceptance-it is what it is until its not (that's the tough one).