Am I a bad caretaker if I start burnout?

You are a bad caregiver if you continue with this schedule. Mistakes are bound to happen. This is not a viable situation.

If, only 18 days into what might be years, you are feeling burned out, then yes, You owe it to the family and the client to either shorten your hours or get out of the business altogether. Even family members can't do 24/7 without some relief. It's an unreasonable schedule for a paid attendant and they are taking advantage of you.

Three days/nights on, three days/nights off.
Of course you are not bad. This type of caregiving requires a team of three caregivers. Some people can do 24/7, but not without breaks, respite care.
Have you tried Monday-Friday, weekends off? Have you read articles on this site about how many caregivers die before the ones they are taking care of?

It would be bad for you to continue this schedule, and not so good for the "patient" either.

ayucan, you are on duty 168 hours per week, that is almost impossible for any one person to do without some type of physical or emotional burnout.

You are doing the work of 3 full-time caregivers, each of which would work 8 hours each, and go home to their own family, have a good nice sleep, and be ready for their next shift.

It is totally unfair for your patient's family to even think you could work around the clock with someone who has memory issues, and probably other medical and physical issues when someone reaches 96 years old.

Keep us up to-date.

Another perspective: After only 18 days, understand that there is an adjustment period. Ask yourself if you are qualified for the care you are required to give. Are you "living in" without your own home to go to on your days off? When she is asleep, do you have peace, or is it all on your mind 24/7?
It is a good thing you have asked this question. Continue to educate yourself. Keep checking in with your fellow caregivers as you are able. Take care, have you showered today?

24/7 is not a sustainable schedule. You have to sleep at some point, so how are you a caregiver 24/7? This is the problem most of us face as caregivers - and one I'm dealing with personally now. My mother took a bad fall recently, and now I'm afraid to sleep at night for fear she will fall again. She never sleeps all night, but gets up to go to the bathroom, etc. She's a huge fall risk right now, because we haven't yet determined why she blacked out and fell - so now I live with the fear that I will wake up and find her on the floor, having not heard her fall during the night.

Are there not labour laws where you live? Even live in domestic servants are entitled to time off.

SusanA43, are you sure she blacked out and fell? Sometimes their feet just get tangled up or there might not be enough light to make her feel secure.

We have the same situation, where Mom gets up several times at night to toilet. We got a baby monitor so that we can hear and see what is going on. It really helps. Because she doesn't think to turn on the bathroom light anymore and just relies on the numerous night lights, we installed a motion detecting light switch that will also turn itself off after an adjustable number of minutes.

Thanks, tx. Yes, very sure there was a blackout that occurred. I was sitting about 8 feet away, working on my computer whe I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and she was slumping sideways, like she was reaching for something on the floor - I called out to her to see what she needed, but before I could get another word out, she rolled forward and out of her chair onto the floor. She hit her head on a piece of furniture on her way down and cut her forehead and the top of her head right down to the bone. So we are now in the process of having testz run to find out why she blacked out to begin with. She is not the same person she was 7 days ago, so *something* happened.

Super rich and busy family. Wish that they have a time and some of brain space to learn how is their mother now with that dementia, incontinence, mood swing, knee Osteoarthritis. Please help me to hold on, 3 days left, hope I can open a discussion with them about this working hours and care issues at that time. Its kind of traumatic first experience as a caregiver for me. Hahaha...start to shed a tears.

I am so sorry to hear that. That was scary for you, I'm sure. I hope they are able to find out what caused it.

thank you so much Tx. Can you distract me from my problem? Maybe you can share you experience. The worst one. Im 24 years old, just finished my bachelor of nursing study. So, being a nanny sitter completely new for me.

I did that with my mom.. I shadowed her every freaking moment in the night....Tehn took her to adult day care,a then went to work.... Hubby finally asked if I was sleeping.......No, how can I?

What exactly are your sx. of caregiver burnout?

There are other jobs that you might have been specifically trained for.
With supervision and more experience, you can better use your bachelor of nursing in another setting, such as a hospital.
That is not to say you are not qualified for (nanny sitter), but instead are without experience, and over qualified for this particular assignment.
You can, get specific training for the duties required of you on this job.

Ayucan: Consider yourself a "trainee" for this assignment.
Get someone to train you for your duties. Ask lots of questions.
Know your limitations, and please dont put the patient in danger by what you dont know about caregiving. You can learn, but is this the right patient for your first assignment?

Would you be able to perform the duties 24/7 for a job, say for example, sweeping. Sweeping, all day, all night, for 20 days straight? Hope this helps to clarify your ability to work that many hours for that many days.

here is a big issue here, in Indonesia, my country. Lack of elderly support. That is also become a reason for this family why they hire me. They want to hire a person who understand about their mother diseases and aging process. But the problem is, this country dont have any law or spesific health support about home care, elderly and all of the circumtances. Me, as a nurse and caregiver completely blind about our job description, right and responsibilities, and also salary. Thats why, I learn a lot from AgingCare, but unfortunately, i cant impplement that.

Sendme2help, you really can read my situation. That also my question for this 5 months. AM I A RIGHT PERSON TO TAKE THIS JOB!? HOW LONG I WILL SURVIVE without hurting anyone especially my patient?! what is the consideration of this family?

I see the problem now. It's regional. Indonesia has no labor laws regarding caregivers, and a household employee can essentially be treated as a slave, albeit a paid one.

Ayucan, you need to find another line of work - this is never going to work for you as a household employee.

Ayucan, do you know of any other job in the entire world where the hours are midnight to midnight with no break? Of course it's not unreasonable to challenge this. What is being asked of you is batsh*t crazy.

This was a very tough first assignment for you! Not a good expierence you need to start in a normal pt/ft- 8hour situation be eased into the routine and see if this is really what you want to do. Talk with the family when you can and let them know they need to bring on another person or 2. If you get sick and burnout they will have no one! Good Luck, Bless you! You are too young to start this way!

I see.

Ayucan, this family hired you for your graduate-level understanding of their mother's needs, right? So you owe it to them to explain what those needs are: never mind what local labour laws are, this lady's care requires much, much more than one exhausted, stressed out person can give. What about downloading some information sheets for them to back up what you're explaining? The fact that they hired you, a graduate, rather than somebody less qualified shows that they do want to do the right thing; so with any luck you'll be able to educate them. Best of luck, let us know how it's going.

countrymouse....i get break, maybe totally, 6 hours per day,. its just, not "me time". Eat, sleep, shower,...need to rush because i need to "get ready" whenever she need me, even when she start to walk from a dining table to her room, she wobbling, high risk to fall, and her son to busy to "be there" for her.

Right Ayucan Guidelines .....it is as everyon has said a totally unreasonable situation and I know that what I am going to say isnt going to make it easier for you initially but in the long term may.

The recommeded working week in Europe is 48 hours and we actually have a directive that says you must not exceed that. The reason we have that directive is down straightforwardly to accidents and general health and safety.

You MUST document what you do and then consider what YOUR recommendations would be to this family using your SKILLS as a graduate. that recommendation should include a risk assessment of the carers too.

If for example you are too exhausted to care what are the risk to the person you care for
Failure to give the right meds or watch that they are indeed taken
Failure to ensure you monitor her fluid intake and urine output
Failure to manage her walking etc

It is usual in some case for their to be two carers - not ideal but it does happen - 3 would be far better 4 would be the right number. If the night carers are allowed to sleep and not do waking care then they get paid less - so they do 10-6 or if just 2 carers 8-8 but only 5 days a week not 7
Day carers get a higher rate because their job is more strenuous.
I would personally note all that I do and note how much time it take to od it. This family dont sound as though they have a clue as to what is involved in GOOD care and perhaps they need an awakening - it is worth a try before you find other employment where the employer is so unfair.

I am a caregiver that will tell you what you are heading for.

I was a caregiver for 13 - 16 hours per day, for 196 days straight.

I have been in the hospital 20 plus days, it has cost me far more than I ever made, and I almost did not come out of it, then got a superbug from the hospital,

Advice, 24 hours a day is NOT sustainable. 3 days on 4 days off or 4 days on, 3 days off, but NO NO NO.

Please do not do what I did. I am the only one she knows and will have, do not get in that trap. It is better to tell whomever up front.

Really, I lost 50 lbs and still work, but am so exhausted, that I only do 6 hours of elder care now, and work with the Household that has been so very good to me.

Pleese read everyone's advice.

Cwillie, labor laws yes, but in the state that I live in and I am on the books all the time, as caregivers do not realize or some don't that it just is a no win for you to make money off the books, no social security, no labor laws. And by the way, i just found out, when my doctor wrote a note that I was to work from 10:00 not 9:00am, that because I was an employee of one, they did not need to follow the labor laws.

Be GOOD TO YOURSELF, NO ONE ELSE WILL. {LIFE IS A JOURNEY, NOT A RACE"

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I like JudeA's approach to 4 caregivers. I worked with a parkinson's family once and there were 8 care givers 24/7

Thank you. This is exactly what i need. Suggestion n consideration from the other people that trully understand about "caregiving". Till this point, "hold on, do your best". Such a fool because ill just hurting my self and also my patient because of that stupid faith. Tommorow, chance to speak up. Please guide me. Wow, its feel like, half of my burden was gone after i share it to the right person. Thank you so much for all. Today is another tough day. My patient complain a lot about her knee pain after PRP treatment. She got confuse and agitated because we will travel tommorrow, packing for the 15th times, asking for the 25th times why and where will we go. Refuse my help. Huffffffff...take a deep breath.

Hold on - do your best - now there is a sentence that can be so double edged. If the family are saying that to you they KNOW what you are going through and choosing to ignore it to get a cheap care resolution to their needs with little or no regard to your health, or indeed their mother's for without you what care would she receive?

You will need to stand firm on this one and I understand financially how it maybe difficult for you to do so but I beg of you please consider this: Right now you may need the money but that isnt going to change any time soon unless you marry a very rich man of course. So you will need to earn in the future and you have been trained as a nurse. What type of job will you get if your referee says you let his mother fall/failed to give her the right meds/allowed her to get bed sores (they wont remember that you were past the exhaustion stage when they write trust me) Far better to get out or make a stand on her behalf and get the right care for her - good luck hun - travel? where to? who's accompanying you? you cannot manage person AND baggage alone if she is vulnerable