My dad has this giant term life policy (no cash value) that has 5 years left before the premium skyrockets due to older age in which case I will cancel it. It's a 500K policy that's valid no matter how he passes away. I feel SO BAD whenever I get a glimpse of the financial relief it would bring us if he were to pass in the next 5 years. I could put my mom in a fantastic retirement home (ya know, the kind for people with huge pensions), and I could put her in alcohol rehab, buy her a cute wardrobe, take her to Mayo clinic to have her health completely evaluated, and many other things I just simply cannot do unless I win the lottery... my dad's health wont get better, and on his really really bad days I just wish that he could be at peace. I know some days he wishes that he would pass too. But on his really good days I couldnt imagine him leaving us. How do I reconcile these bizarre thoughts???