She lives in an apartment in our house, and she goes to "day care" M-F, for about 4 hours a day. On the weekends, though, she doesn't have anywhere to go unless I take her somewhere or have her "over" (to my husband's and my 2 floors of the house). She has tons of books and newspapers and magazines to leaf through, a TV, and 2 cats in her apartment, so she's not in any kind of senior living hell hole - but because she has Alzheimer's, she can't really read very well anymore, and she doesn't tend to watch TV because she can't follow a show or tell the shows from the commercials.
Anyway, when I do have her over, she either starts an argument or asks incessant questions, making it impossible to work (I work from home and tend to work on and off, 'round the clock) or even to just watch TV. She can't just be quiet and be with people, she has to make herself the focus and make the same inane comments (about what she's wearing, the weather, where her cats sleep) and/or ask questions when she can't follow a show (I don't put on anything complex when she's over, but even a simple sitcom is beyond her now). This is a woman who used to know all the librettos for every opera ever written and could recite classic poetry. That's all gone, replaced by "I'm wearing 3 shirts, and with layers, you don't need a coat!" or "My cats share the bed, but they sleep on opposite corners!" or "Why is everyone driving?" when a car commercial breaks in on the show we were watching. If she gets even a whiff that she's asked the same thing over and over or that she's being a pain, she gets really hostile, and storms out in a huff.
So am I a complete bitch because I don't invite her over when I know she's downstairs with nothing to do? The guilt over not having her over is almost (but not quite) as bad as the stress of having her over, and I don't think it's fair to my husband to make her a household fixture, given how she can't just "blend in" and hang out. But I feel bad that she's alone and bored so much on the weekends. I see her for about 30 minutes in the mornings to give her her pills and again for her evening meds, but that's it. Right now, I'm debating whether to have her up and know she'll stay for 2 hours, or wait 'til later and she's sleepy and give her her pills then so the time together will be limited.