Of course as many here know, I have said that before and I "went on."
Shes been wanting to move to a senior living, so finally in July started renting a unit, even though she was not ready to move by any stretch of the imagination. I think the director kind of cowed her into thinking if she didn't take her turn in line now, it could be many months before there was another opening. So she has spent now 3 months of rent, at 2200 a month, and is now on the hook for at least one more, though she has not only not moved, she is not making any effort to move or get her house ready for sale. She will not pack up stuff, I have tried to do it for her, she gets temper tantrums, once when an out of town brother came we cleaned out all the junk in the basement (and I really mean junk) and we were going to haul it away in my SUV and she caught us and demanded it be returned so she could go through it. It's still sitting there in the garage. I have tried to make a mother son team building exercise out of it, trying to generate lists of things, which will go where, she gets a panic attack and says not now.
She is demanding, unappreciative, critical of me, but I have told you all that before. She is not rich, but can absorb this loss for now, but who wants to see 8K of your family's money squandered away. She is unable to make decisions, which is why she can't pack. Yet she broke her pelvis in April, is healed up now, and the other day started sweeping leaves off a driveway with an incline. I told her she cannot be doing that, she will fall, she needs to pack inside. She says I am not coming over to take care of leaves. I said yes, I am not going to come over every day and dispose of leaves from day before, she has to put up with a few leaves until we do serious raking. I think the leaves is a distraction from what she needs to be doing. I do understand its hard to pack up to leave a house you have been in 60 years, but SHE is the one who wanted to do it. My brothers suggested staying there, and we will help out but SHE wanted to move, yet is paying 2200/month, not living there, nor doing anything to move. My dad died in April of 2018, was such a gem of a guy, (too much, he put up with her nutty behavior rather than confronting it years ago, my one brother says he did not have ALZ, he said anyones system would fry after 63 years with my mom. I laughed, and in his mind he is not joking, who could put up with it?). So after a few months, about a year ago I suggested she pack up one box of goods and one garbage bag of junk every week, thus in a year it would all be done while not having to do a lot at one time. But she has done NOTHING.
We finally got her to go to a pscyh PA who prescribed Gabapentin, don't know if that's a good choice but my mom wont take that or any other psych drug anyway, and a therapist who sort of blamed it on me as she saw my exasperated nature with my mom, saying how that increases my mom's anxiety. If only that was the problem.
I set up her pill boxes every week, then come there and note say the day befores is still in there. She said she took from another day. I said the other days are full too, but even so, take it from the RIGHT day.
My out of town brother emailed the senior apartment today and said we will be issuing our 30 day cancellation notice by the end of this month if she is not moved in. This to stop the bleeding, she will have spent 9 grand or so and never lived there. Don't know what to do anymore, and my own health is suffering as result.