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I had a nervous breakdown last week and now my brother will took Mom for a couple of weeks. But he doesn't want her fulltime and I can't take her back. My marriage is on the brink of divorce. Mom broke her hip 2 yrs ago and now she needs another hip replacement, but she said she will not go thru that again. She is 90, with dementia. She is livid sometimes. Can dress herself, shower w/help and pull her bed covers up. She won't use her walker which she needs. Holds on to whatever is close. I do not know where to put her. Assistant living or maybe a board and care home. Does the doctor have to put her in a nursing home? Or can we do it? Does anyone know how this works? I just can't keep her anymore, but I feel so guilty moving her out. Thanks for any help you can give me. Bless you and this website.

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After hip surgery she should go to a Nursing Home in the rehab wing. IF she can progress through physical therapy goals, she will be releaseable to Assisted Living. She is not suited to Board and Care considering her condition. I have doubts as to whether her primary will clear her for surgery at 90 with dementia. Either way, she should not be coming back to your home. We all have limits physically and mentally and you have met yours.
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Medicare will pay for a limited amount of time with doctor recommendation. Then becomes self pay. When funds are spent, then Medicaid applications are in process, takes about 6 months from what I have read here. Placing her in a facility that also has some Medicaid beds will make it easier on because you won't need to move her when money runs out.
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I agree with pstegman, the reason why there are different long term care settings is because it caters to the different need of care recipient, in you mom's care, she needs advance medical supervision at the moment so a nursing home would be the best fit for her.
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