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I don't know it this helps, but I have two cartons of unused waterproof pads that no one seems to need and I'm looking to donate. I live in Brooklyn, NY and I'm still looking to give them away.
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If they are on medication that make them sleep very heavily that alone can cause sometime nighttime problems. Sometimes it helps to check this out also.
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To help with the night time incontinence issues, remember, like with children, if there is a lot of fluid intake after 6 pm or so, there will be more of a chance of incontinence during the night. Less fluid intake, and a trip to the toilet right before bed, will decrease the amount of urine during the night. My Dad is now in a Memory Care Unit, and there, all residents are taken to the bathroom during the day about every two hours, to encourage more continence...so that's another idea.
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I had the same problem with my husband. We were changing the bedding almost everyday. By trial and error I was able to avoid the changing the bed everyday. There is a product that have what they call guards. They are like women where once a month, but thicker. He wears depends at night and I also put one of the guards in with it and it worked just great. His clothes are not wet and neither is the bed. I also put matteress pad made by good nites, they are great. The size of the adhesive on them is 6x6 in all corners, does not move. Hope this is helpful. Good luck.
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I remember when my MIL could still go to the bathroom on her own. She eventually had the same problem where her depends were so soaked that she ended up getting pee all over everything. This happened with her first thing in the morning. What I did is put a depends on her with a diaper over it at night. It helped absorb the excess pee that soaked through the depends. Or you could double up on diapers at night by putting two on them instead of one and then help the person get cleaned up first thing in the morning. At least the pee won't be all over their clothes anymore. Just remember to help them keep as clean and dry as possible though because otherwise they will be prone to UTI's and rashes. I realize this is hard to do at night though unless you get them up to change them. Of course, I realize you both need your sleep too in order to be able to properly function. Hope this helps. Putting the pads on the bed is also a great idea. You can get disposable ones or reusable ones you can clean in the washer too.
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My mother-in-law is incontinent. She wears diapers, instead of underwear. She also began having "accidents" (the diaper wouldn't hold all the urine), so she places an "overnight" pad (because it holds more) inside the diaper and it helps. Good luck.
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