I take care of everything snow. Yard care, pets maintenance on home, run all his errands take him to all appointments or social events, do the shopping cook his meals, serve him in his chair, pickup dishes when he's done its like he's my child I get food stamps and have to spend them on feeding him and what he wants. How much should I be getting paid because to even get gas money he gets mad he has to give me even $5 I gave up a home I was buying now I have no life at all please tell me how I should approach the topic of needing to be paid I have not even a dollar to my name
I am NOT being facetious here. I am serious. You are miserable! Would you offer this free labor to anyone else without pay? Probably not.
You must have some sort of emotional attachment with this man. Guess what? He doesn’t have any emotional attachment to you. If he did, he would be paying you.
To put it bluntly, you are allowing yourself to be used. Stop giving him your permission to do so.
Give him notice and tell him, ‘Good luck finding someone else who will be willing to help for free.’ Trust me, later on, this guy will be nothing but a distant memory for you.
Don’t dwell on the heartache. Heal and move forward.
You need to have a sit down talk with him. This is when you name your price and state your demands if he wants you to continue being his caregiver. Make it very plain to him that he is not going to get free services from anyone including you. He has a choice.
He meets your pay requirements and demands, or you will leave him to fend for himself which will result in one of two things. Either he will neglect himself and go downhill to the point where the state will put him in a nursing home or he will die.
This generation seniors needs to start understanding that no one owes them anything and to drop the entitled attitude that their kids will become slaves to their old age. The only way they will learn is if people like you start standing up for yourself and making demands of your own.
Did you step into this because of an emergency? It's time to step out.
I suppose that SF can't afford live-in help and you thought you should live with him and help out so you could save money. You aren't doing yourself any favors. If he can afford live-in help and you want to continue as his caregiver, insist on a contract and then he pays you. If he can't, you need to get a job. That's this thing where you not only get paid but possibly get benefits like health insurance, retirement plan, a paid vacation every year, and perks like a Christmas bonus. Lots of people have them, and you could too.
Please start looking for a job and inform SF that you'll be moving on when you get one. If you don't take care of yourself, who will?
As for SF, get social services involved, and inform them that you won't be taking care of him anymore. In truth, you have no obligation to be his caregiver. NONE. He's manipulated you and barricaded you into a corner that you need to escape for your own good. Do it ASAP, and good luck.
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