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There is so much I didn't know. This site will help you. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I found this site by mistake. It was the best mistake of my life. I am ready to celebrate my 81st birthday and also my 63rd Wedding Anniversary. How it helps to know that you are NOT facing this by yourself. For those who have a faith, you have help there. There is help here for all of us who are going through so much. As I have said before, my husband is not himself....he is many personalities, but he is the body for which I am caring, that is residing in my living room. AND I love that man...whoever he happens to be at the moment. This week I faced diarrhea....alone...with a large man and LOTS of wipes. Sometimes it helps to laugh instead of cry. I am grateful for the family who all work and yet find time to help. I am grateful for the strength that God gives me to make it through the day. I am NOT grateful for sciatica which hit me this week, though the doctor that is helping me....he is on the list. I am grateful for technology...emails from friends who support me....this site that tells me I am NOT the only person in this mess....games to play when he is asleep for hours. But mostly, I am grateful for the rare moments that he is himself. This morning, he realized that a friend died of a stroke....my husband had one also. He told me that since he had a stroke, he would probably die. I looked at the man that I loved for so many years and said....yes, you probably will. He said...I am worried about you. I said...remember, this is what we prepared for...that I would probably outlive you. You bought an annuity for me, saved money and moved us closer to family so I would NOT be alone. You may go and be with your Mother, Father and Grandmother and I will be taken care of. Then he went back to being someone else. This doesn't matter. He was given permission by me to go and be with them and I would be taken care of. He is quiet today. He is sleeping a lot and staring at the ceiling. He is talking about being on a train to his home town. I have encouraged him to go and when he sees his parents at the station, that is the place to get off. He wanted to know if I would get off also. I told him I would go on, but I would catch up with him later. This was a bit of a sad day. I hope that many of you will have the opportunity to give your loved one the relief that they may go and you will follow later. Of course, I am heartbroken. He is my life, my love, my all. The world will never be the same without him, but he must go and I will follow later. May God give all of you peace and hope. Nancy

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Thank you for sharing, Nancy. What you wrote was beautiful. And I'm glad you found this site as well.
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Beautiful thoughts, Nancy. Thank you for sharing them. Big hugs to you. I know you will miss him when he goes, but he'll be waiting at the station when it is your time.
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God bless you both.
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