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I've been a caregiver for my mother for 6yrs with no help from family. Feeling stuck, stressed, alone, depressed and worn out. I put my life on hold to help my mother. I've been through a lot and it's taking a toll on me. No finances or a place to stay if it came to it. Just need advice, help.

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Hello,

Welcome to the forum!

Your name says it all. Caregiving brings on many emotions.

I posted an article that I think is very useful for all caregivers to read. It’s in the Discussion section. Please read it.

It is written by a social worker for the National Caregiver Alliance organization.

Depression as you are experiencing is common. In this article, the social worker lists coping skills next to the symptoms.

Have you contacted Council on Aging in your area?

Have you spoken to a social worker to help plan for future care for your mom?

Tell us a bit more.
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Some of the larger hospitals and hospital chains in our area used to have support groups, as did some of the various levels of care facilities.    I don't know if any have continued throughout the pandemic though.  

Do you have any close friends or relatives with whom to discuss the situation?  I found that just speaking with others helped relieve some of my stress.

I also listened to music, a lot of music.   In what hobbies did you used to engage?   Just thinking about planning something creative is helpful; I can sense that whenever I browse a gardening, crochet or knitting magazine.    Planning to make some of the items in the magazines also helps, perhaps not only b/c of the creativity and relaxation involved, but b/c you're making plans for the future.

So do physical activity, and workouts, even if you just take a few minutes to stretch and calm your mind.
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I have also been my mothers caregiver for 6 years. Its hard. giving up your life to help them. I wish I could tell you it gets better but Im 6 years in and Im at my breaking point. I dont know what to do. I dont have help either, although I have plenty of family members. And Covid has made things 10 times worse! I feel so stuck.
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bundleofjoy Feb 10, 2021
dear depressed and broyal,
:)

i'm amazed by your kindness and dedication to helping your mothers.

i really hope you find good solutions.
your mothers, for sure, want you to be kind to yourselves, too!

a kind, loving mother, wants you to have a wonderful life.
not jobless, homeless, poor, stressed.

no family help :(.
so typical.
(i do believe in karma, by the way)

apparently:
jobless, homeless, poor, stressed, etc., is really the risk one takes on, if one becomes a caregiver. (especially since it's so common that one ends up being the ONLY caregiver) (tasks not being distributed)

support groups?...
hm. i suppose, dear depressed, what you would like is ways to feel better.

words of encouragement help. but relief might be temporary.
i think one must make a change, to feel better.
some drastic change.

for example, X amount of hours in the day belong to you!
or, this whole month belongs to you.
the point is, only-helping-others will cause trouble for ourselves (we might see it in our bodies, over-eating, whatever).

be kind to yourself. :)
be your best friend, your biggest cheerleader, guiding you to find kind solutions for both yourselves, and your mothers.

big, big hug!!

bundle of joy :)
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Have you "Googled" caregiver support groups in my area? That's how I found our local support group now almost 3 years ago. It used to meet in person at our local Senior Services building twice a week, but since Covid we meet on Zoom twice a week instead. Meeting with others that are going through similar things as you, can be incredibly helpful, and make you feel like you're not alone. I hope you find what you're looking for.
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