My grandmother, who was abused as a child and in turn abused my dad, is showing signs of decline. She lives alone, in a different state, and recently totaled her car so probably should not be driving. My dad and his siblings are grappling with how to care for her without risking their own mental health. She continues to be verbally/emotionally abusive to all of them, even when they try to help. She is extremely paranoid; my dad (a general contractor) has arranged for work to be done on her home by people he trusts and works with often, and she has repeatedly accused them of ripping her off or stealing from her. My dad tends to be the stoic type, but I know the prospect of increased caregiving is a huge source of dread and stress for him. She is unlikely to agree to any kind of help. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions.