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My MIL is in a retirement apartment community building that is mixed independent living (but with meals served) and assisted living. Of course, they have been on lockdown but my 92 year old MIL broke the rules 3 times by driving herself to the hairdresser & store, doctor and bank. She was quarantined to her apartment by management for 2 week periods several times. We were supposed to go pick up checks from her and deposit them into her bank tomorrow but she says that they are "all open" at her place now and she can come and go as she pleases. (This is in PA.) She is a narcissist and she lies. My husband believes her about this. But I am not so sure it is true. Has anyone heard of retirement facilities being "all open" now? My MIL told my husband to stay out of her business a couple months ago but still expected him to run some errands for her during lockdown. I don't think he cares what she does or does not do anymore but I am afraid that, if she is lying, she may get kicked out of her facility for continuing to ignore the Covid rules.

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Monica, I'm glad you and your DH have come to understand that you are powerless in this situation and need to get on with your lives.
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So...turns out my MIL'S community is fairly open now. Families can come and visit in residents' apartments and residents can come and go. My MIL called last night and her first trip out resulted in a fall and injuries (bad enough for the ambulance but not bad enough to go to the hospital). Another couple took her out to dinner and would not let her bring her walker because it would not fit in their car. She fell at the restaurant....on the cement sidewalk, I believe. Cracked her head open, hands all bruised and some other minor injuries. She called my husband last night to tell him (it had happened a day prior). He can only say "Oh, wow, glad you are okay" because she refuses to discuss moving closer to us, going to a higher level of care, etc. She still drives because as of this past spring none of her doctors would take away her license. But she seems to be going downhill fast since her hysterectomy this summer (she is 92 years old). But...nothing we can do and I won't stress about it anymore. We have put our entire retirement life on hold for her. No more!
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Monica, your husband doesn't sound like he is going to try and move his mother into your home if she does get evicted. Which I doubt considering she is self pay and they can isolate her when she breaks the rules.

Let it go and stop stressing yourself out over this. It won't change one thing.
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I doubt that they're entirely open like pre COVID. Many do allow visitors on an appointment basis and for a limited time. I don't believe the residents can come and go as they please, that would expose them unnessarily to the virus. Call the facility.
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Monica19815 Sep 2020
I doubt the management is allowed to talk with my husband anymore. My MIL made it clear that her life is none of his business...not her health (she had a hysterectomy 2 months ago and has cancer) and not her comings and goings. I just worry about what happens if they kick her out of her apartment. Husband says he will honor her request and let her deal with that problem on her own if it happens. My husband is her only living child.
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Your hubby should call the office of the place before he agrees to go and inquire if they’re “fully open”
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