Dealt w/ hubbys dementia over six yrs. but this last week I've snapped at him a few times. Dementia is not his fault! I've done pretty good up til now without anger! He asks if he can help me but he can't. I want him to be more mobile but he gets very tired even to shower/shave with my help. He's becoming more forgetful. I now have to monitor his meds very close. Literally making sure he takes what and when. He did it himself ok for a long time but since he took his a:m, 5:pm & bed time pills all together one morning & used his Anoro inhaler twice in same day & not once as directed (!), I have all meds out of his sight until I give them to him. He's becoming more demanding and I've forgotten to give him his inhaler twice and his 5:pm meds late. Drs. Appts. are out of the question during these virus crisis, or tests to check his memory decline etc. Our oldest adult grandaughter lives w/ us but he doesn't want her doing much for him. Last night I was tired of his childlike antics, said something snarky when he went to bed, I bit my tongue so I wouldn't say what I thought! Went to grandauters room in tears & shared that I felt like but didn't/ wouldn't say to her granddad " if you don't stop being mean, I'm putting you in a home"! Guilt is less than what I felt. She hugged me. I heard his sweet side from across the hall " I'm going to bed. Goodnight honey". I've fiercely relied on my faith. Especially in difficult days I remind myself & know that only God carried me through caring for mom during her battle lost to cancer, caring for my only son during the AIDS epidemic & dying at 34 yrs. old ( I was younger 25 yrs ago), & the passing of my younger & older sisters within 13 months. "Sister" the oldest, 2 mos. ago. I believe strongly that we will all weather the storm we are in today and am very grateful that we have this blessed site where we can share. I read more than I write. Find encouragement, hope and even laugh a bit. To be able to vent, be angry or even complain without fear of judgement or critisism. Thank you all for allowing me to "dump". I do attend a local support group now being via group telephone. Our time is limited, so here I was able to really let much out tonight. I'm not a chapter & verse scripture quoting kind of gal but would like to share two that have been foremost in my mind today remembered from my mom & a very dear friend. "No weapon formed against us will prosper" .
" My strength comes from the Lord".
Thank you again, God bless & keep you well & safe.