Never thought I'd have to get help like this. I'm sole caregiver to my step-dad who is bedridden. My deranged and severly alcoholic brother and I recently had a little verbal disagreement, unrelated to my step-dad. I blocked him, but he knew to give it a few days, and then we would talk. He couldn't wait. He tried calling me six times today. I was doing yard work. He thought I was ignoring him. So he called the police claiming concern for my step-dad and to do a wellness check. He later admitted to me he did it purely to get my attention. So the police walk into the back yard as I'm working. Well, I had to bring the policeman through my extremely messy garage, kitchen. Rest of the house is somewhat ok. I apologized and explained I take care of my step-dad 24/7 and the rest I just do what and when I can. He spoke to my step-dad. Everything seemed ok. Asked a few more questions. Then left.
Even though everything was ok with my step-dad, but because the kitchen was such a mess, will the police contact APS? We're in CA.
Thank you for any and all assistance.
Edited to add: how sustainable is your situation? Are you the only caregiver? It may be time to look into making changes.
Reading your question, my mind immediately went to another question;
How messy is the kitchen? And the rest of the house? I doubt the police paid any mind to a little mess, but if you are in a hoarding situation, or an unsafe environment, that might be reason for authorities to report it. As Grandma1954 says, just do your best to keep the space cleaned up if you are worried about any future welfare checks.
They WOULD care about hoarding. They WOULD care about feces, bad odors, signs of uncleanliness and squalor. Things that could cause a fragile senior to fall; unavailability of clean clothes. Unwashed senior. Etc.
There is a difference and I know you will be aware of the difference.
If you DO get a call from APS re a "referral" from authorities and their wanting a visit, then consider yourself NOW forewarned of this. FIRST the house, then the garden. Keep things relatively neat and in control. Again, they don't expect things immaculate. Their concern is the senior and his living conditions. Could he trip and fall because of things, and is his condition good? Does he need a checkup. Is he clean. Does he have clean clothing.
So if you get a call welcome them. Tell them you have an alcoholic brother who thinks, because you are ignoring his inappropriate calls, he should cause you problems in this manner. Tell them they are welcome to visit. Use the opportunity to ask for any help through local services they might know of. Offer coffee. Tell the brother that is he continue to do such things that you will cut him completely out of your life, and he can call authorities until they get sick of him; tell him you will file restraining orders against him if he is unable to behave. Go to Al-Anon. It will be a good thing to tell any visiting authorities you are doing and you will get GREAT SUPPORT there and a lot of education about dealing with the alcoholic.
He was in the hospital last month for the low heart rate. He's not a candidate for surgery, so pacemaker surgery a risk, and he doesn't want surgery or angiogram anyway. My brother used this in his fake wellness check excuse and told the police my step-dad needs to go to the hospital and he didn't think I would just let him die on his bed, but wanted a wellness check done.
He has no pain except for a little arthritis achiness on occasion. He doesn't want hospice yet.
I have no problem being sole caregiver. No, I don't get paid. We do fine except for the trouble this brother is causing. He doesn't care about my step-dad, at least as much as he claims. He's after the house. It will have to be sold and split 5 ways and He's one of the heirs. He's been itching to talk about it and take control of how he feels things should be done. He also lost his wife a year ago, who held everything together. So he's a mess now. He's only thinking of himself and causing problems because of it.
As for the kitchen, there's a few boxes lying around, the floor badly needs vacuuming and mopping, but the counters are covered in dishes, paperwork, grocery bags, and trash. Embarrassing. Won't really take that long to clean up. Just didn't expect the cops to show up. The rest of the house is ok. Walking past the living room, clean except some dust and 3 items on the table. Walking through the house is no problem. There are some supplies and a few boxes in the front door area, but nothing blocking entrance.
My dads room is clean. Just a little normal clutter, but clearly clean. I focus on keeping it clean and the rest just gets done when I can get to it.
My brother's actions will force me to work harder than I already do. Just added work and stress. It will have to be more kept up now in case he does something else.
I'm not alone in this though. My other brother is in this and went through the same crap with him.
Sorry this is so long.