He has dementia and can't distinguish between safe and unsafe behavior so I dont think he thinks it's demeaning. Always put him in the back furthest away from the drivers side.
I have 'child' car door locks on all my passenger doors yet this wouldn't stop an adult reaching over to grab at the wheel, grab me, fiddle with the radio volume.
If being a passenger is not safe, next is having another adult to sit along side in the back to supervise & manage.
If this is not safe either, then no transport in private cars. He must stay home with a sitter when you go out. For his own appointments that must be face-to-face, non-emergency medical transport will need to be looked into.
This gets very hard if you & your husband don't have sitters or transport options.
Not sure how the back seat is demeaning. It's likely safer than the front seat. Adults ride in the backseat of cars all the time, including (but not limited to) limos.
How very dangerous for both you and him that he's opening the car door while driving. And how silly that you think that putting him in the back seat and keeping you both safe is "demeaning." Just pretend that you are his personal chauffeur like in the movie Driving Miss Daisy, or in your case it would be Driving Mr.(fill in the blank). Either that or just don't take him anywhere anymore. Or perhaps it's getting to be time to think about having him placed in a memory care facility, where he will be kept safe and you can get back to just being his wife and advocate.
"Shotgun" (front passenger side) is called such from the days when the Wells Fargo stagecoach used to deliver money and mail. There were always highway robbers to watch out for.
The back passenger side is the "Presidential seat" so that the VIP can easily see and talk to the driver (and visa versa).
My Aunt with dementia used to sit in the front passenger seat until one day when she decided to grab the wheel and try to turn it while we were driving on the highway. And she used to roll down the window and scream HELP! at passing cars. So, lock the windows as well.
The back seat is "demeaning"? It depends how you look at it.
My mother the Queen loved riding in the back seat of the car, behind my father the driver.....she felt his body would be a nice buffer for HER should they get in a car accident. 😑
My husband has a 2016 Nissan Rogue.....all the doors stay locked automatically while the car is in motion.
When dementia has regressed an adult back into a toddler who has to be secured with child locks in a car, put them in the backseat. When a person has gotten to this point it really isn't safe to treat them like adults anymore.
Safety first. Back seat. I was a caregiver for 25 years. Anytime I had to take a client with dementia in my car they always sat in the backseat whether they wanted to or not. This was a condition of travelling in my car. It was either the backseat, or we don't go.
The back seat may seem demeaning to you, but it is the most safe. It also keeps them away from the controls of the car. Remember, unexpected behaviors in a car can be deadly.
My car can lock ALL the doors. The control is on the driver’s door, just one of all the lock options. It stops anyone getting out, and also anyone getting in (eg a bad person accessing when the car is stopped). Mine is just a small Hyundai hatch. Check what controls you actually have, there may be more useful options than you are aware of.
My Subaru Legacy is the same, as are many other cars. I think the back seat is safer in regard to grabbing the wheel, though. I don’t think the back seat is demeaning, I put mom in the front seat because it is easier to get in or out of and she is not a danger in that way.
The whole dementia experience is demeaning. While driving home from a walk at a local park, my wife opened the passenger car door and tried to jump out. I quickly grabbed the seat belt to keep her from getting out. She was delusional and thought I was going to hurt her. She struggled to jump out, I struggled to keep her in. Without going into detail, the 20 minute drive home was hair raising. After that experience, I piled some large books in the front passenger seat and would ask her to please sit in the back because I didn’t want to move all those books. I also engaged the child proof locks in the back. Demeaning or not, it’s about their safety and your sanity. That was the experience that put me over the top. The next week she was in MC.
Look up "adult car safety harness" on your favorite search engine. There are many devices out there that are assistive devices for safety of special needs folks. These harnesses specifically for car travel run about 100.00 to 150.00. They range from safety needs such as you mention to positional safety for those impaired from CVA, and etc.
I know my car locks all doors when its put into drive. In my DHs car I can't get out until he outs the car in park. Not sure about mine but both are GMCs so probably the same thing.
I personally choose the passenger rear seat as safest so he can't reach the steering wheel. That said, many cars can have child lock features activated on the front passenger door by the dealers. There is usually no mention of this in the owner's manual. Check with a dealer for your make of car.
I have found that Seatbelt Lock Covers do help. They don't keep the passenger from trying to open the door (the incentive for their use) or from trying to interfere with the driver (fortunately, a problem I've not yet encountered) but DO keep him securely fastened in the seat until I unlock the seatbelt. Even if the door were opened, it would be unlikely that the passenger could actually make a dive to exit....Word of caution - there are different sizes - I had to order 3 before I got one to fit - fortunately, they're cheap...
I have been having my husband ride in the back seat for at least a year now. Mostly it seems more comfortable. He doesn't really pay attention to the view and even if I point something out to him, by the time his mind processes it and he turns, we are long past it. Dementia is not fun. He seems to be fine with riding back there, I find it more comfortable for me knowing he is there and if he wants to close his eyes, so much the better. I think the "demeaning" part is perhaps your perception and not one he would have in his state of mind.
Given how anxiety can get to those with dementia, riding up front where they can see cars in front, brake lights and cars coming towards them in the oncoming lane(s), might be fraught with more problems than help. And if the driver has to make sudden moves or hit the brakes, it might be better if it isn't all seen by the passenger. Not demeaning - more like taking their condition into account and finding ways to make their travel as free of anxiety possibilities as possible.
Hmmm I have a 2005 Chev truck and a 2013 Toyota I can lock all with a button. If in doubt check your owners manual or just drive to dealer of brand and I bet they will show you. You may even be able to go on line to YouTube and ask that question for your model and yo may see videos. Good luck
You can also be sneaky and once he’s secured in the car before taking off, press the automatic lock which locks all doors when he’s in the front seat. Once you’ve arrived at your destination, unlock your door, get out, immediately lock the door again (with him still in the car), go around to his side, unlock all doors and help him get out. Hope that is helpful!
Demeaning as it is, there's no better place to be! A deployment of an airbag is very fatal in the elderly! Their frail bodies can't handle the impact. Not only is there impact of a crash but the airbag forces pressure against the body. Safe than sorry. That's when people should notice the dents and dings on the vehicle and take away the keys. Dr's recommend it.
Read the manual of your vehicle and it will tell you where the safety lock is located.
BTW, you should not think of your husband sitting in the backseat of your vehicle as being “demeaning”; you should think of it that it’s for his safety.
I have 'child' car door locks on all my passenger doors yet this wouldn't stop an adult reaching over to grab at the wheel, grab me, fiddle with the radio volume.
If being a passenger is not safe, next is having another adult to sit along side in the back to supervise & manage.
If this is not safe either, then no transport in private cars. He must stay home with a sitter when you go out. For his own appointments that must be face-to-face, non-emergency medical transport will need to be looked into.
This gets very hard if you & your husband don't have sitters or transport options.
Just pretend that you are his personal chauffeur like in the movie Driving Miss Daisy, or in your case it would be Driving Mr.(fill in the blank).
Either that or just don't take him anywhere anymore. Or perhaps it's getting to be time to think about having him placed in a memory care facility, where he will be kept safe and you can get back to just being his wife and advocate.
"Shotgun" (front passenger side) is called such from the days when the Wells Fargo stagecoach used to deliver money and mail. There were always highway robbers to watch out for.
The back passenger side is the "Presidential seat" so that the VIP can easily see and talk to the driver (and visa versa).
Treat the hubs like a VIP.
The back seat is the safest option.
Consider riding in the back seat with him and hiring or asking someone else to drive you.
My mother the Queen loved riding in the back seat of the car, behind my father the driver.....she felt his body would be a nice buffer for HER should they get in a car accident. 😑
My husband has a 2016 Nissan Rogue.....all the doors stay locked automatically while the car is in motion.
Safety first. Back seat. I was a caregiver for 25 years. Anytime I had to take a client with dementia in my car they always sat in the backseat whether they wanted to or not. This was a condition of travelling in my car. It was either the backseat, or we don't go.
There are many devices out there that are assistive devices for safety of special needs folks.
These harnesses specifically for car travel run about 100.00 to 150.00.
They range from safety needs such as you mention to positional safety for those impaired from CVA, and etc.
Good luck.
Given how anxiety can get to those with dementia, riding up front where they can see cars in front, brake lights and cars coming towards them in the oncoming lane(s), might be fraught with more problems than help. And if the driver has to make sudden moves or hit the brakes, it might be better if it isn't all seen by the passenger. Not demeaning - more like taking their condition into account and finding ways to make their travel as free of anxiety possibilities as possible.
BTW, you should not think of your husband sitting in the backseat of your vehicle as being “demeaning”; you should think of it that it’s for his safety.