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I thought I would get used to it but I am gagging and have totally lost my appetite. I was never a big eater but now my doctor wants to know why I am losing weight when I can’t afford to lose weight. It’s just gross to me. Why is this happening because I am a mom and changed a bazillion diapers?

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I'm surprised people deal with commodes like this. They key for me is to turn it into a solid which makes it smell much less and makes it far easier to deal with. No pouring, scrubbing or rinsing needed. Just seal up the bag and toss it.

1) Line a commode with a liner or a trashbag. I use trashbags since they are much cheaper.

2) Put something absorbent into the commode. I've tried a bunch of things but find that 3 number 3 diapers do the job best.

3) Pour about a shot glass worth of activated carbon in rear of the commode bucket. This really cuts down on the smell.

4) When spinning sealing the bag, having a 20" fan in the window running at full blast really works wonders.

Doing this, I can get away with only changing the commode once a day. The diapers absorb the urine and seal much of the smell in. The activated carbon takes care of the rest and any fecal smell. I grab the bag, spin it to form a seal, tie it shut and toss it in the garbage bin outside.
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NeedHelpWithMom May 21, 2019
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I think using gloves puts a psychological as well as a physical barrier between you and the ick - I found that helpful.
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NeedHelpWithMom May 20, 2019
I will try it. Thanks.
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When using bedside commodes it can be much easier by buying the disposable bags for them. I use one everyday in my work, very easy. They come with a sanitizer in the. This also soakes up the urine. I dump after a bowel movement. You tie it together like a trash bag. I get one full day with one.
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Gloves, vicks under the nose, and bags or a touch of lysol in a little bit of water in the commode. I had to put myself on autopilot and just work through it.
My situation went beyond a commode eventually. I had to be brave and approach this all like a nurse would, (developed a huge respect for nurses). My mom became bedridden on hospice, with a urinary catheter and a stage 4 bedsore she developed in a 5 star Medicare rating nursing home for rehab,(this is why I took her home on hospice). I got the sore to heal somewhat with protein in her diet. She had constant urinary infections. My early morning consisted of emptying the bag of bloody urine and then cleaning her up and changing her briefs. She had frequent diarrhea from radiation burns from abdominal cancer treatment years ago. I had to make sure fecal matter did not get into the bedsore. I had to treat the bedsore. I did have great support and training from hospice nurses. My respect for nurses and what they see and do each day got me though helping my poor mom until she found her peace.
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Because those billion of diapers were a result of your feeding of your loved little ones---and you just cannot equate a 'full adult diaper' or commode with the small diapers we strap on to our baby's tushies.

I get what you're saying. My DH was on Metformin for a few years for diabetes and he routinely had these awful blowouts. Did he ONCE clean up his own underwear? Not once. Just left it on the bathroom floor or worse, in the hamper.

Asking why HE didn't deal with this--he said "It makes me gag. I'll throw up" to which I inevitably replied 'how handy. you're standing at the TOILET'. SMH.

I have heard that policemen put a big glob of Vicks under their noses when they go to 'ripe' crime scenes. Maybe spraying a lot of Febreeze in the room before you begin, or burning a candle for a few minutes before, after and during cleanup duty. An candle burning- safely---really takes care of the odor better than those spritzer thingies. Or a wax melter with a fresh scent. Those can be left 'on' all the time.

Try covering the 'collection pan' with a paper towel and don't look inside. Dump quickly and flush and look anywhere else you can. Lysol will be your best friend, also spray cleaners with non-bleaching bleach.

Do you also have to clean up your LO after, or are they able to wipe, etc after using the commode?

Mother doesn't have the bedside commode, she wears a permanent catheter, I think it's worse, as she doesn't change it enough, it leaks a little all the time. Her whole apartment just reeks beyond belief. I do the Vicks thing, or open a window. She's not allowed to have candles.

Would having those toilet seat liners help? You know--the kind that most public bathrooms have. Maybe would help to keep the cleanup a little quicker.

Keeping the whole room/apartment clean will go a long ways to quell the smell, but I get you, cleaning up after a parent or spouse--I have just so much lovingkindness and no more.

Oh, and GLOVE UP. I can't believe the nasty jobs I have done without gloves on. I glove up now---that seems to help, knowing there's a barrier there.

Also, with babies, you know there's an end in sight to the diapers. Adults? Could be years and years. No wonder we get depressed!
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NeedHelpWithMom May 20, 2019
MidKid

I am so glad that I asked because I never knew about this Vick’s thing. Gosh, all of your post makes sense. Thanks so much.

Mom can usually still wipe herself. She needs help sometimes.
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Great suggestions here.
Fortunately, I never had that bother me (good thing, as I was a nurse for 40 years!). But my mother would gag and fuss when she did 1 weekend taking care of her mother. I gave her a break from bedpan duty (when I was 11 years old). I thought she was funny as she’d get all grossed out!

Some people are sickened by the “sight” of the excrement. In that case, keep the lid on the pail, open the toilet seat and pour while looking the other way. Close the lid and flush.
Some are sickened by the “smell” of the waste. (I’ll assume you don’t have a problem with pee). If you use a couple inches of water with any good smelling product (like Pinesol, Lysol, Fabuloso, etc.) in the bottom of the bucket BEFORE the person evacuates, it helps with the smell and the ‘sticking’ problem.

I would also suggest you wear gloves AND a mask.
I remember taking care of a poor patient that had half his face rotted away (don’t get sick now!). The smell of rotting flesh was intolerable, even for me. I sprayed an air freshener inside my mask, then put it on. It was the only way I could stand to stay in his room. You might try that. Also, chew a breath mint before going near the potty. They usually are VERY minty and may cover any obnoxious smell.

Good luck. I know it’s not easy for the faint of stomach.
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NeedHelpWithMom May 20, 2019
Thanks Sue. I’m going to try those things.
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Here's how I handled the commode thing:

1. Buy a case of 1,000 black "t-shirt" style grocery bags from Amazon (or your local warehouse club, if you're a member). So much cheaper than commode liners.
2. Line the commode bucket with two bags. The first bag will be more or less a permanent liner. The second will be the one you lift out and dispose of after use.
3. Put 1-2 cups of scented kitty litter (the clay type, not clumping) in the bottom of the bucket. Keep a bucket of extra litter nearby.
4. After the commode is used, you can sprinkle additional litter over the soiled litter in the bucket to cut down on odor and cover up the contents. Lift out the top bag only, twist and tie, and discard.
5. Re-line the commode with a fresh bag and kitty litter.

I've always used Vicks under my nose for the stinky stuff (a little trick I learned when I was a veterinary technician and had to deal with abscesses). Popping a mint into your mouth helps, too. I also buy surgical masks for when the smell is really bad.

Vinyl gloves are also available in bulk from Amazon. I use the Curad brand.

I generally don't have a problem with handling Mom's ordinary BMs, except when she has multiple episodes of diarrhea over a few days. That's when it gets to me. Everybody has their breaking point. Once things go back to normal, I'm okay.

The difference between changing a zillion diapers when you have babies and caring for an adult (especially one who is elderly) is this: When you have a baby, you know that potty training will eventually take place, so there's light at the end of that tunnel, while caring for the adult often has no end in sight, and you know it will most likely get worse instead of better.

Hope this helps.
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gdaughter May 24, 2019
Wonder if you couldn't layer 3-4 bags at one time so you wouldn't have to keep replacing as often?
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As many of the others have said, wear a good fitting mask and put a dab of Vicks on it.  Or, put a drop of essential oil.  You may have to be careful of how much as it can be overwhelming if you put too much.  Also, I find that Eucalyptus or Peppermint are the best essentials oils to combat the odor.
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I had to empty my dad's commode for 5 years. I used a large trash bag around the receptacle so I could just gather the corners and take out to garbage.The liners never fit and were too expensive. I also used a dollop of Vicks Vapo rub under my nose. It really helped! Adult feces is much worse than a child's. Work quickly and if it gets too bad, buy a surgical mask on Amazon. You can put the Vicks inside the mask. I also lit candles during the process and let burn for 20 minutes after. A can of odor Neutralizer helps-just spray a bit afterward. Thinking of you and good luck!
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Reply to ncglasses
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This is so sad.
God bless all of you who continue to do this day in and day out for your loved ones.
I can only imagine how embarrassing it must be for the person needing this level of care.
I sincerely hope that when your time comes, some kind soul will be there to help you, too. ❤️
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shad250 May 24, 2019
Its a body function
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