My Mom (who is 74) is my Dad’s primary full time caregiver (Dad is now 81 with very limited mobility). As my Mom is now getting older herself, the situation is becoming more challenging. Both prefer to remain in their own home at the moment and we do not have the means to hire 24 hour assistance. We have however tried to hire part time caregivers to help take some of the load off of my Mom. According to the service providers, this falls under Respite Care. But none of these Respite Care Caregivers will do anything? They bring homework, work from other jobs, books or stare at their phones 90-95% of the time. We have given clear instructions, leave lists have spoken to the companies they are hired through. And every time, it is the same thing.
We’ve made it clear to the Caregiving service that my Mom (the Caregiver herself) is at a point where she needs more hands on assistance. And we do not simply need someone to watch or just give companionship to my Dad. My Mom gives each caregiver a rundown about my Dad’s morning routine (feeding, cleaning, etc) and then gives them a few other things that are falling behind that she needs help with (maybe putting some dishes away, or a little laundry from my Dad’s bedding) - and every time she walks back in the room and the caregiver will have set themselves up at the dining room table doing homework or will be reading a book and not attending to anything she’s asked. Is this a thing??
We’ve tried 4-5 services and are very honest and clear about the level of care required along with our needs and past experiences. We are repeatedly reassured by each new company that, “their caregivers would never do that and if they did, we should let them know immediately.”
Sigh, 3 caregivers in at the new service and 2 out of 3 all but refuse to do anything. One last week was even hostile and yelled at my poor Mom. For the record, my Mom is really easy going. But by now, even she is completely frustrated with this whole situation. After last weeks caregiver was so rude to my Mom, we called and spoke to our representative from the company. She was extremely apologetic and reassured us nothing my Mom had asked was out of the norm. She even stated that each caregiver is texted a list of duties to be expected at each job, and that she had compiled the “to do list” that is then texted to each caregiver prior to arriving at my parents house.
Is the term Respite Care giving these Caregivers the idea they just need to physically “be there” to give my Mom a break, rather than actually taking her place for those hours? Do most Caregivers bring their own personal work to do while caring for clients? Is this a known thing? This is not giving my poor Mom any reprieve…it is now adding more to her stress level!
I’m at a loss and feeling hopeless! Anyone else going through this?
Any insight from professional Caregivers is definitely welcome as well! Thanks