I’m no doctor, but with most any stage IV cancer... there’s not a whole lot left that can be done. Surgery would not change the outcome.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be mean, cold, or defeatist. When someone we love is this sick, we want to cling to any possible straw that can change or improve the circumstance. It comes down to quality of life in the time someone has left. I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry for this diagnosis. I don't know that surgery is an option for this stage as generally it does mean that there is some spread, and that the prognosis if not good. I hope you are discussing all of this, and the options for treatment, with the MDs. Give it time. The shock of the diagnosis is at the forefront now and it is difficult to think what to do. Be certain the the POA and advanced directives are done and that options for who will assist are in place and discuss with the MD. I can't know current condition of patient as you do not tell us. Whatever is currently the case it may be unlikely that there is "curative" or uphill motion in future. The level of facility the person can live in will be dependent upon his or her condition ongoing. I wish you luck on this journey and hope you have good MDs who will discuss with you how to get social services help, and advice ongoing. Hope you will update us.
I went through NHL at age 62-63. It was awful, but I was in good health other than the cancer (stage IV). Chemo was awful.
I did not require surgery, so that helped make my decision easier. My grandma had stomach cancer in her 70's. She was one tough nut. Her surgery was awful--a lot like what I would think a gastric bypass would be like--but 'open' wound, not laproscopic, so it did take her a long time to heal. She did not do chemo. She recovered well enough to enjoy 15 more years.
In her early 90's she was dxed with breast cancer and she opted for no treatment. That is not what she died from, and it really didn't affect her QOL.
Gma had neighbors and family with her pretty much 24/7. Just getting up was pretty hard--and she needed a lot of help. BUT--she lived alone to the end.
Having said that--everyone's cancer journey is their own.
I think Midkid's Grandma was one of the lucky ones. This is what I found
"overall relative survival rate for all stages of stomach cancer is 31.5 percent. The five-year relative survival rate for distant stomach cancer (stage 4) is 5.3 percent.Apr 25, 2019"
If I had a 5% survival rate, I would not subject myself to surgery or chemo. I would just put my life in order and enjoy what time I have left. She will need Hospice. If you have facilities for that, she may want to go that way. If not, it means "in home" and she will need someone there 24/7. Eventually, she will probably be in a morphine sleep for the pain.
My GF passed in November from stage IV stomach cancer at 70. She had other factors too, diabetes, heart problems and Parkinsons. She was also a negative person. Surgery was not done but chemo was. The chemo caused big problems for her and had to be stopped. While in the hospital, she contracted COVID and survived that. Went to rehab and transferred to LTC because she needed 24/7 care and had no one who could provide care nor could she afford it.
I have a longtime friend (63 yrs) that does nothing but give to others. These types of people don't deserve this kind of thing. I pray that I am wrong and she is one of the 5% who can beat this. Attitude has a lot to do with it.
I don't know the answer to your question, but I do know that my ex was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 5 years ago. He's alive & well now with clean PET scans after undergoing chemo treatments and surgery.
We have a friend, also dxed with stage 4 lymphoma, who's considered cured now after a pretty grueling 4 year battle. A bone marrow transplant is what finally did the trick.
So, while your friend may have a LOT of chemo & treatments in store for her and probably cannot live alone during that process, she may still LIVE. That's my point. Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future outcomes of such things, but there is hope!
You’ve given me a lot to consider. Everyone is different. That’s true. She had told another friend that she wasn’t sure if they would do surgery, so.......maybe that’ll be up to her. I hope the best for her. Life can be so strange.
Recently, there was a 2 year anniversary of my dear friend’s death, who had kidney cancer. I think of him every day. And, in May of this year will be the one year anniversary of another long time dear friend from sepsis. He had spinal surgery and it never really healed. It seems endless.
I will say many prayers for my friend with stomach cancer moving forward. Whichever route she takes, it seems there will be plenty of need for support, assistance and encouragement.
I appreciate your comments and words of kindness. This is for an old friend of mine. I still can’t believe it. Of course, she’s such an incredible person....always helping others. She has taken care of two other people in her life who fought cancer battles. Seems so unfair.
Unfortunately life is very often unfair. I don't know if surgery is an option with advanced cancer like she has. Maybe you can help her look at her options. Quality vs quantity of life. How long do they think she has with and without surgery or various treatments? Personally, I am more interested in quality and pain management when I think about end-of-life decisions. Good luck.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be mean, cold, or defeatist. When someone we love is this sick, we want to cling to any possible straw that can change or improve the circumstance. It comes down to quality of life in the time someone has left. I’m so sorry.
I really don’t know but I want to offer my support.
I hope it works out for them.
I wish you luck on this journey and hope you have good MDs who will discuss with you how to get social services help, and advice ongoing. Hope you will update us.
I did not require surgery, so that helped make my decision easier. My grandma had stomach cancer in her 70's. She was one tough nut. Her surgery was awful--a lot like what I would think a gastric bypass would be like--but 'open' wound, not laproscopic, so it did take her a long time to heal. She did not do chemo. She recovered well enough to enjoy 15 more years.
In her early 90's she was dxed with breast cancer and she opted for no treatment. That is not what she died from, and it really didn't affect her QOL.
Gma had neighbors and family with her pretty much 24/7. Just getting up was pretty hard--and she needed a lot of help. BUT--she lived alone to the end.
Having said that--everyone's cancer journey is their own.
"overall relative survival rate for all stages of stomach cancer is 31.5 percent. The five-year relative survival rate for distant stomach cancer (stage 4) is 5.3 percent.Apr 25, 2019"
If I had a 5% survival rate, I would not subject myself to surgery or chemo. I would just put my life in order and enjoy what time I have left. She will need Hospice. If you have facilities for that, she may want to go that way. If not, it means "in home" and she will need someone there 24/7. Eventually, she will probably be in a morphine sleep for the pain.
My GF passed in November from stage IV stomach cancer at 70. She had other factors too, diabetes, heart problems and Parkinsons. She was also a negative person. Surgery was not done but chemo was. The chemo caused big problems for her and had to be stopped. While in the hospital, she contracted COVID and survived that. Went to rehab and transferred to LTC because she needed 24/7 care and had no one who could provide care nor could she afford it.
I have a longtime friend (63 yrs) that does nothing but give to others. These types of people don't deserve this kind of thing. I pray that I am wrong and she is one of the 5% who can beat this. Attitude has a lot to do with it.
We have a friend, also dxed with stage 4 lymphoma, who's considered cured now after a pretty grueling 4 year battle. A bone marrow transplant is what finally did the trick.
So, while your friend may have a LOT of chemo & treatments in store for her and probably cannot live alone during that process, she may still LIVE. That's my point. Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future outcomes of such things, but there is hope!
Recently, there was a 2 year anniversary of my dear friend’s death, who had kidney cancer. I think of him every day. And, in May of this year will be the one year anniversary of another long time dear friend from sepsis. He had spinal surgery and it never really healed. It seems endless.
I will say many prayers for my friend with stomach cancer moving forward. Whichever route she takes, it seems there will be plenty of need for support, assistance and encouragement.