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I've been caring for my Mother who has dementia, for years. I was told yesterday that I have to apply to become her "payee" and if approved, I am required to keep record of all expenses (for her only). I can no longer use any of her SS check for help with our expenses. I am very concerned.

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This question posted. I know you were concerned about your questions not posting. I’m bumping this up. It’s just possible no one is familiar with the program and that’s why you haven’t gotten an answer.
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dlpandjep Jun 15, 2019
Thanks Joy - I don't see it and when I reply (as I'm doing now) it takes me to the "Log In page."  I cannot see any of my replies, although the questions have finally appeared on my Activity page.  Strange.
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Dlpandjep, the process and record-keeping requirements for being a Social Security Representative Payee are relatively simple. I did this for my father and my wife did for her aunt and is for our daughter. Nothing to be concerned about and will be a good thing to have already done as your mother's dementia increases. Contact your local SS office to make an appointment and find out exactly what information they want you to provide. Kudos to you for taking care of your parents. Best wishes.
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dlpandjep Jun 15, 2019
Thank you for the encouragement.  I've heard conflicting views about the program and it's requirements.  Good to hear something positive about it!
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dlpandjep
Who told you that you have to become your mom’s payee?
Ive been trying to decide about this for my aunt.
She has her check direct deposited into her bank account. I write checks or use a debit card to buy her supplies and pay the bills that aren’t set up on auto pay. I am on her account but the account has only her money in it. I haven’t had any problems but I’m thinking I need to do the same thing while my aunt can still sign for me to be her payee. We never did this for my mom so I was wondering if it was really necessary? That’s why I wondered who told you it was necessary.
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dlpandjep Jun 24, 2019
Hello - I made a call to the SS office and the person I spoke with asked to speak to my Mother.  It didn't take long for her to realize that my Mother has dementia.  That's when she informed me.  Your local office should be able to answer all your questions.  Bless you for helping your aunt.
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https://www.ssa.gov/payee/

Read the above from the SSA website. In particular, it outlines what SS payments can be used for i.e., food, shelter, utilities.

If your mom lives with you (4 person household) you divide the expenses by 4 and use her monies to pay one quarter of those expenses.
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dlpandjep Jun 24, 2019
Thank you Barb!  You are a great help on this forum and I appreciate you taking the time to help me.  💙
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Who told you that you have to apply to become her payee? I'm wondering myself because I was in a similar situation, I now write the checks to the nursing home my father is in.
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dlpandjep Jun 24, 2019
Someone I spoke with at the SS office.  See my answer to 97yearoldmom.  Someone mentioned that they made their LO's nursing home payee.  An option, but sounds like one would have to relinquish all control.  I wouldn't want this without an accounting from the NH.
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I did this last year for my mom before she moved into memory care. Mom was teetering between periods of knowing/not knowing what was going on. I felt that she could be easy prey for staff, other residents or other family members. I went to the local SS office & filled out forms. SS sent a form to Mom's doctor to verify Mom couldn't manage her finances. Gave me a form to have Mom sign. She couldn't "sign" but any mark was acceptable if signed in front of a witness. When SS got the signed forms they gave me an instruction sheet for the bank on how the acct had to be set up. Took the form to the bank. Took the acct info back to SS office. The next check went into the representative payee acct.

Sounds like lots of moving parts but is not bad or time consuming to get setup. Call your local SS office & they will help you get the ball rolling.
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dlpandjep Jun 24, 2019
Thank you for the info and the encouragement.  Just threw me for a loop when she told me this.  I love, care and sacrifice for my Mother just as she did me, as a child.  Her needs are always met and I wouldn't want anyone to think otherwise. 

Thanks again, Longears  😊
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I am payee for my LO, and her SS check is deposited directly to the checking account that is used totally for her care.
The process of arranging my payee status was relatively simple, and the counselors at my local SS office were wonderful.
I don’t believe you can use her funds for anything but her care.
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dlpandjep Jun 24, 2019
Thank you for your help and encouragement Ann. 
My Mother and I have always been very close - I even designed our guest room with her in mind.  When she moved in, (well even before then) she gave me total control of her finances, knowing that I would spend them in her best interest. 
I'm happy to hear that the process of becoming payee was so pleasant for you.  I hope things go as well for me.  Thanks again.  😊
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