Anyone else trying to lose caregiver weight?

Sometimes, the life of a caregiver is a bit boring and isolating and that can lead to overeating too.

I guess you (and me!) need to find some healthier foods on hand for all that eating!

Raising hand.

I gained 30 pounds during the 7 years of trying to help my parents, not because I was eating more, but because I was too tired to exercise, before that I was a gym rat. And then getting a serious health issue due to stress thrown into the mix didn't help. That zapped all my energy.

My primary doctor has been after me for a couple of years to lose a few pounds but she doesn't understand that at my age, now in my 70's, it ain't coming off real quick. Doing lunges in front of the TV isn't on the top of my list. I'd probably fall over, anyway :P

So I am trying to cut back on carbs [bread and pasta both of which I enjoy].

Caregiver weight!
Funny thing I actually had it a bit more under control while I was a caregiver. It (weight) has gotten a bit out of hand because I can get out more, I am invited to dinner more, lunch more and since I had been cut off I go. So the weight comes on.
I have to get serious! And I will say it here so I can't back down.
I want to loose 40 pounds.
Loosing 20 pounds would make me happy.
Loosing 30 pounds would make my doctor happy (no ecstatic)
40 pounds would give me a Fudge Factor (and I love Fudge!)
So y'all are my witness
I will keep you posted.
Mort 1221 and freqflyer if you would like to join me we can lose together.
Any one else want to join in?....

I can’t eat! I get nauseous if I try. Who has an appetite after emptying bedside commode, changing soiled sheets, etc.

I feed my husband and mom. I barely nibble. I can’t even stand to smell food most days, let alone eat.

I recently took off 20lbs I gained from compulsive overeating. I felt helpless to stop for a year.

I finally got ahold of it when I decided to fill up on low cal foods. I would eat baby carrots, pickled beets, salads and anything else was just a taste here and there. I shrank my stomach and stopped feeling hungry and the weight came off easily

I am pre diabetic, and needed to lose some lbs to help me out. This summer I got more serious as my A1C snuck back up. Summer is better for me, as I will eat tomatoes and fresh fruit , its so good this time of the year. I have taken about 10 more lbs off, but I need to drop another 10 or 20 to really feel safe. I was never a fruit eater, love my vegies though! My dr said "go for the fruit" don't worry about those carbs, just no juice. So I am ,, peaches are wonderful right now, but I fear when winter comes and I am facing tons of cabbage and grocery store tomatoes.... LOL

I can certainly relate. I've been a fitness professional for most of my life. Teach classes, write articles, etc. and since I've been care taking my mother for the past three years, I've put on 23 pounds. I could argue some of it is hormones but that wouldn't be entirely true. I've read some of the other responses on this and most of those reasons apply. I eat for comfort because I'm sad, depressed, isolated, angry, lonely.....(fill in the blank). It's hard to talk about our lives with people who are not in this boat....that's why we're here.

I recently looked in the mirror and said, "ENOUGH!" While loosing some of this weight is definitely on my list, my focus right now is self care. That means feeding my body healthier foods, getting more rest, asking for help, saying no, and drawing some boundaries with people who just "don't get it."

Good luck to you my friend. Take care of yourself.

I cook, bake, and can all the time to avoid gaining weight. It makes me not want to eat. Fortunately, I have people in my life who love my cooking and don’t gain weight.

I put on 20kg from caregiver stress, but now it's starting to come off. I'm using Xenical $92 for one month supply, tablet taken with meals 3 times a day, which I have used before with great success, it helps you to eat healthy and avoid fatty foods as that is the only side effect for me is very oilly stool. & A couple of accidents (all oil, when I farted) It is expensive but it does work after a Month I generally start to see the weight coming off. & That in turn actually helps you find energy to walk or exercise. I have chronic fatigue syndrome so it has been a major help since I don't have any energy left after caregiving for my mum. I do still walk my dog each day all be it a small walk it off course increases as weight comes off. I generally only take Xenical for maximum of 6mths then either go off it or just have one tablet a day to maintain weight. Good luck.

OH Boy, yes. I was caregiving for about 10 years for both parents...I have since lost them both, and still dealing with the weight and the sorrow. Mom's 1 year anniversary of passing was this summer and her 99th birthday will be tomorrow. Dad gone for 4 years. I don't know how to advise! I am going to follow this in hopes of obtaining some info. I do have an appointment at a weight clinic this week. If they have any good suggestions, I will certainly share!

Yes. Exactly. I gained 20 lbs since I started caring for my mother with FTD dementia. I don’t eat all day cleaning up all the shit, pee, throw up, clothes, linens, bathroom, cooking, shopping, etc. I eat too much. Drink too much. Late at night when I can finally be alone. Even walking 10,000 steps a day did not keep off the weight. It just adds to the depressing situation. I am a vegetarian and still. I started eating nacho chips. It’s totally not normal for me to eat junk. The complete isolation from the real world and no one really understanding the horribleness of the situation. I tell myself everyday to take control of my own life and ignore all my mother’s insane behavior. Hasn’t worked yet.

Not to mention the calories from alcohol. When I was still working full-time and hubby was beginning to decline, I began looking forward to a glass of wine before I even left work (to help deal with time spent with hubby).
And of course the alcohol does not help to cope.. I’ve since put an end to that & only drink socially.

I'm in!

I've read how caregiver weight gain happens so often, for perfectly understandable reasons. When I had to be around my mother, I would usually feel stressed and anxious, and that resulted in cravings for carbs/sweets afterward. (Fortunately, I never had to live with her; can't imagine that!!!)

It's another reason why it's so unfair for the caregiver, particularly those who have sibs who get away with doing no caregiving and continue to lead their carefree lives.

It's hard. Stress promotes weight-gaining hormones. Meds that slow down the metabolism (to lower the BP, heart rate) or improve mood also promote weight gain. You can only safely get off meds by improving lifestyle through diet, exercise, and good thoughts.

Serotonin improves mood. I instinctively reached for a food with tryptophan that converts to serotonin. In my case, it was natural peanut butter. But the calories added up!

Eating healthy whole grains, fruits and vegetables, dairy from grass fed cows, nuts, seeds, and yes, organic beans and peanut butter has helped me lose weight. I have to count calories and use a food scale. And I still have my 20 grams of dark chocolate (stevia sweetened) and 100 grams of red wine each day!

Are we twin sisters? I feel your pain. I'm not as responsible for my mom as I used to be. Now there is less stress. I feel more relaxed and can enjoy life more.Which is yummy food with friends and family.
Good luck..I'll be waiting to see the tips. Although I know what my issue is, I love yummy food. They don't call it comfort food for no reason.

Lol yes!!!
although at my age, that “change of life” weight gain is contributing as well!
Do yourself a favor and get some bloodwork done. Make sure your cholesterol and triglycerides are ok, and if needed, your doc can steer you in the right direction. For me, I am now doing “my version” of the Mediterranean diet, to cut my ‘bad cholesterol’.... I’m not considered overweight, and my BMI is fine, but you never know what’s going on inside. Olive oil and salads are my new best friend😜

Yes, definitely! And in the past I would have tried all kinds of crazy diets. This time I researched a bit more and found the 21 Day Fix. BIG CAVEAT HERE: I am not trying to lose the weight fast and I will be staying on this past the 21 days. What I like about it is it got me back to normal meals.
I would come home after caring for mom and be so stressed I would grab the peanut butter jar and a block of cheese-that would be dinner!
I first invested in the color coded containers to help me see realistic portion sizes and the got a pack of sectioned meal containers. Both from Amazon if you want them (I'm not associated with them). I will pick a day and cook 4-6 meals ahead of time, mark with a Sharpie on the lid whats in it (usually 1 protein, 1 carb, 2 veg) and then store them in the fridge. When I'm stressed and hungry all I have to do is pull one out, heat, check off how many units I have and eat. Several people (mom included) says it sounds to complicated but once I got in the swing of things it is so much easier than shopping without guidelines and then wasting a lot of food. I have kept a journal/diary/datebook for several years so it is habit for me to record my units in there.
What does an average days worth of food look like? I'm 72 and started out at 213 so I'm in the 1,800-2,099 calorie range. Which means I can have for the day (total) 3 fruits, 4 carbs, 5 proteins (which can be meat or yogurt or tempeh),5 veg, and assorted fats that I won't bore you with. All together it is a lot of food and I always end up at night with some left over. Don't save that for the next day! It's a brand new start each day.
So after 19 days (so far) I've lost 11 lbs. and I feel much better about my eating. It's a bit of a challenge to get the system organized but once it is it runs fairly smoothly. I love it and it is something I hope to continue for the rest of my life.

I was but my husband passed away. I believe we are emotional eaters. I have started going to a gym. You may not have that option. Maybe you could dance or do something fun even if you can't get out! It's so hard when eating is the only enjoyment you have. I am very empathetic and understand what it's like to be homebound caring for someone else.
One more thing that has helped is taking Webutrin. The weight falls off and it helps with the confusion and depression that goes with caregiving. Ask your MD or see a Psychiatrist.

I don't have an answer, but I would like to find one for my 57 year old single RN daughter who has left her job to care for her father with Lewy Body dementia--over three years now. She was never slim but now she is hugely obese...and would never go to an MD! Never has, never will. He is in a nursing home, but she says he will run out of money in two more years and will have to go to Medicaid facility. I am amazed he has lasted this long, but I now fear she will die before he does. And not be there for me!

YES!  I am trying.  I am blaming it on osteoporosis  ;-)  By losing 2 inches of height, my bmi went up another 3 points, without any weight gain.  Some of my meds promote weight gain (as well as emotional eating) and a sprained knee in Jan. did not help exercise.  A blood test showed my thyroid was off, so the newer med is helping, and I've lost 8 pounds.

We try to take care of ourselves, but it is not 100% while our elder's needs seem more than ours.  I did a lot of prioritizing.....what do I need to do now to keep us alive?   How about you?

Just so you know, I gained back 50 lbs as a 24/7 caregiver for my DH. You are not alone.

The brain is a complex organ. I ate to keep my sanity and would gladly do it all over again as I brought peace of mind to my DH while I was gaining weight.
Just FYI, he was 96 to my 66 and the weight reassured him I was not looking for another hubby.

For me, if it didn't come in a bucket, I wasn't eating it. It started when he would ask for things and then not eat them. I couldn't afford to throw away food so I ate what he wanted but was unable to eat. The ice cream called to me and according to what I've read, it was from the stress I was under.

I would do it all again to still have him here with me.

I'm +20lbs heavier than I'd like to be and creeping upward, I know that for those people struggling with a greater weight gain that amount hardly seems worth stressing about but to me it is significant enough that I notice the effects (do I have to buy a bigger bra, again? lol) While I still had mom I used to have a lot of anger and stress that fuelled a need exercise, now that she's gone I'm finding it harder and harder to force myself to move and those bad eating patterns I established while caregiving are extremely difficult to break. Adding in some ambivalence about outliving my useful lifespan makes me tend to think "go ahead, eat, drink and be merry" 🤔

I feel ya. I've come to care for my 92 yr old father who has dementia and lives in Michigan in the middle of no where. My home is in Florida around friends and city life. Was working a full time job of which I took a loa, was riding 3 miles on my bike almost every day working in the yard, etc..now, i dont. I do all the cooking, cleaning..well,you know, everything, which is fine, just not my usual activities. I was cooking what dad liked and had in the cupboards. Hes a meat and potatoes kinda guy.
I find myself eating and sitting around too much . It's all country around here with dirt roads. I feel.like I've gained 20 lbs ,ok maybe 10.
I've walked the dirt road, didn't work much, I'll occasionally walk the property (11 acres), I even brought up moms old exercise bike from the basement, messed up my knee a bit, she was shorter than me. I do enjoy a glass of wine at night too.
This is not what I'm used to😕.
So now after being here for the last 4 months, I'm trying to get a hold of this. It's hard, I dont want to be to far away from dad as hes already had a TIA attack. So I stay close by and do arts/crafts, and on a good day I'll walk the property with my dog. It's not much, won't get the heart pumping but at least it's something. Oh and I'm cooking what i like, more fish and chicken and vegetables. Dad eats it but I know he would prefer the potatoes/gravy.
It's just something we have to work at daily. We have to take care of US and THEM because know one else will.
hopefully, dad will be able to go to Florida and I can get back to some of my activities, hopefully.

I gained sooo much weight as a caregiver, taking care of my mother. After she passed, I had a heart attack! Gradually, I worked my way back towards finding balance and good health. It's still a work in progress. I'll tell you what didn't work for me and what did work for me. I started by following a whole food plant based diet that was also SOS-free (no salt, oil, sugar). After a couple of months, I found it simply impossible to adhere to. I eventually researched the relationship between insulin resistance, weight gain and cardiovascular disease, and this led me to ketogenics and intermittent fasting. It works, it's NOT a torture, and the results are virtually miraculous! Please check out Dr. Jason Fung, Dr. Berg, Dr. Sten Ekberg, and Dr. Mindy Pelz. Mind blown!

GrannieAnnie, the stress of being a caregiver may have worsened your osteoporosis. Cortisol, a stress hormone, in excess will cause osteoporosis or at least contribute to it. Too much cortisol can also add weight especially in the abdominal area. In addition to making good choices for diet and exercising regularly, we caregivers must include activities that reduce stress. So, although easier said than done, meditation, aromatherapy, more sleep, soothing music prayer....whatever can reduce your stress is so beneficial. I am working on this now myself which includes an exercise class specifically for people with osteoporosis. My posture had improved and I am stronger. And Mort1221, part of my problem was my mother just needed to eat, so to encourage her, I would eat with her, calorie rich foods...unfortunately, it worked better for me than her (ie gaining weight) Oy vay! On the flip side there were times I would skip a meal because I was too busy, then would grab a soda or candy bar because I would be light-headed. Learning to have healthy snacks handy on those days helped.

Perhaps you can substitute a bad habit (snacking) with a better one. Can you manage to take a walk on a regular basis? Getting outside really helps me and gives me a chance to connect with other people, even for a few minutes.

Weight Watchers was very helpful to me when I was working. If you can't get out to a meeting, they have an on-line program. Meanwhile stop leaving snack food, soft drinks and most desserts in the house!

Oh gosh, I know what you mean but I’m just the opposite. I get so caught up in what needs to be done that I miss meals, or I have no appetite. But whether you’re coping by eating or by starving you have to break that cycle quick - it’s not going to go away on its own. Try little things like if you are heading to the fridge then you have to do a chores on the way, before you know it you get distracted and forget about snacks. If you have to have snacks around then freeze some grapes - sweet, cold, you can pop them in your mouth like candy but so much better for you.

I too have put on weight since my mom diagnosed with vascular dementia one year ago. I live in ma and my folks are in pa. For the past year I have been traveling by car to stay one week, sometimes 2 weeks with them so i can attend doctor visits and help with whatever is needed. Prior to my mom getting ill, I had been on a weight loss journey, six years in the making, but have now put back 30 pounds in one year!

All the travel, constant stress due to worry, and a sister who does the bare minimum even though she is 45 minutes away from our folks, have led me to weight gain. I am angry at myself and honestly I don't know if I can begin again.

I wish I had words of wisdom to share, but please know you're not alone.

I have just started trying to take off some of my post-divorce, post-menopause, post-caregiving weight. A friend mentioned to me that she did this by figuring out how many calories she needed to maintain her current weight and then cutting back to that number minus 500 per day. I am trying that for myself. I am checking the calories in what I normally eat and finding I have to cut back portion sizes more than I would have thought. But, I'm trying.

Which brings me to a question. Does anybody have a recommendation for an app or website where you can log in your food and it will calculate the calories for you. I'd be happy not to have to look up every single item. Thanks in advance for any advice! And good luck to all you hopeful losers (of weight, that is)!