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This might seem selfish but I feel robbed by COVID. Robbed of the precious time with my mother whom has vascular dementia. During the COVID shutdowns of long-term care facilities in Canada I was unable to visit my mother which I was doing regularly through the week. I understood the need to close the homes because COVID was tearing through homes and a lot of seniors were at risk. Wasn't easy on me or many people in the same situation as myself. Even though I was able to talk daily on the phone with her it wasn't the same as being there holding her hand. Over the past year in total on and off I would say the home was shut to all visitors for about 8 months. Because of my regular visitations prior to COVID I was considered an essential worker, and finally allowed to visit. But here's the thing, mom's different now. The disease has stolen more of her during this past year and I feel like I missed so much time with her. Yesterday I had to come to terms with the fact that my mother is entering the last-stage of her dementia. F*ck I wish I had that time back.

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Time was stolen an I think much more then people realize. It was detrimental to all but especially to the lonely loved ones left all by themselves. I think just the loneliness killed some. 😥
Sad situation that should have been handled differently.
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Harpcat Apr 2021
I could not agree more!
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Yes, time was taken away from the entire world during the pandemic. Just value this new time and appreciate every minute of it. For those love ones who survived the pandemic, count it a joy and blessing to have them longer. There were some love ones who didn’t survive. You CANNOT change the lost time nor should you blame yourself for the pandemic lockdown. Move forward in life.
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disgustedtoo Apr 2021
"Just value this new time and appreciate every minute of it. For those love ones who survived the pandemic, count it a joy and blessing to have them longer."

Yes, for those of us who have survived, LEARN from this. Value your life and loved ones. Don't stress over the little stuff and hold a grudge, you never know what tomorrow, or even the next hour, holds for you. When things return to a more normal state, make up for that lost time. Spend more time with your friends, family and LOs. Be grateful you all came through on the other side.

I didn't lose my mother to the virus, but we did lose her during the lockdown. I was allowed to be there with her at the end, following a second stroke, but it was really too late by then. She made eye contact and seemed to try smiling when I first got there, but she never said a word. They used meds to keep her "comfortable", but she never really came back to any semblance of contact.

Take your blessing people and relish them. Make up for lost time while you can.
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This pandemic's lock-down (be it an over-reaction or not) has done so much damage. I hear a mother the other day talking about her 2 year old child (I have 2 grandkids less than 2 years old), that during this time of the child's learning of language, he's deprived the learning of facial expression. What about all the kids who are now 2-years behind in their education....some school districts holding them behind because of failing grades or the kids not being able to pass the Grade 3- reading/comprehension test. Or the teen athlete who practiced throughout their lives in their sport in hopes of a college scholarship or possible career in the sport. Importantly also, there's the mental and emotional damage the pandemic lock-down has caused in our kids.

Today I read that half of Americans are anxious in some way towards coming out of lock-down and restarting social interactions.

The pandemic has stole the opportunity, as with you DarleneRoy, in spending these precious time with your love ones at the last stage of their lives. The lack of social interactions accelerates memory lose/dementia. My heart aches when I hear the social isolation of our elders. It's not humane when we allow our elders to pass away without loved ones by their bedside.

This pandemic has taken so much from the global society. I hope we learn from this, study what we did right or wrong, and take these lessons should we encounter future pandemics.
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Chlokara Apr 2021
Since I am in my 70's, I am terribly aware of the fact that I, and most of my friends, do not have that much time left, or that much "active and aware" time left. I resent very much losing this time in which I could have been an active senior, and spending time with friends. When I look back at my life, it seems that I was in high school f-o-r-e-v-e-r, but now four years goes by in the blink of an eye. Time is so precious, and the fact that so-called leaders have screwed around with my time angers me.
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Yes. They emptied the actual prisons & turned nursing care homes into prisons. We are living through massive crimes against humanity, especially the elderly & at this point we need to act accordingly to rectify the situation. Know the laws where you live & exercise your rights.
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MargaretMcKen Apr 2021
It’s a frightening comment, with 500,000 people dead in the USA alone. Are there ‘massive crimes’ all over the world?
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Covid has taken more and from more people than the elderly and their families, difficult as that has been. Everyone I know has suffered in some way, even in a State with precisely 1 death from community transmission (infections were stopped from spreading). Careers disrupted, relationships reduced to phone calls, businesses insolvent and their owners bankrupt, planned international travel impossible for the foreseeable future, more domestic violence and murders, mental health problems zooming, and just a lot of general misery all round.

I read a lot of history, and it was worse in the 13thC Black Death (one third of the population of Europe dead) and the 17thC Great Plague. Body carts in the street calling out ‘Bring out your dead’, mass pit graves, white crosses on doors with disease inside, and a hideously painful way to die. If they knew then what we know now about causes and transmission, they could have stopped it in the same ways that we are doing now. At least we suffer the disruptions for a good reason. Courage!
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I doubt there is anyone who doesn't feel that way, over the past year I have often felt grateful that my mother died before covid. I especially feel for those who have lost someone in the past year, I can't even imagine coping with that.
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We can't change the past or get back lost time. Today, focus on the love you have for your mother. Hug her and tell her you love her. She may not understand but it will do your heart good.
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You most certainly are not alone. People who are in care facilities and hospitals are usually the most vulnerable, but, they also are making out on spending time with family. I know a couple.of people who have been in hospital and signed themselves out against medical advise due to their loneliness. It is horrible how the corona virus has affected everyone in one way or another. People in certain states can't even get the one day one person visits so please do your best to enjoy any time you have and don't blame yourself.
Bst wishes.
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Covid has stolen our time, health, jobs and lives. We have been in a public health crisis for more than a year. We'll all be happy when it's crushed. With dementia, declines are mostly inevitable. We have to accept things as they are. Make the most of your time with her now that visiting has opening up. Accept her as she is now and try to keep your time with her as loving and joyous as you can.
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My parents were raised during the depression and WWII. I think these things made for a stronger America. But I don't see that COVID has done that for us. Social Media has fueled the conspiracy theories out there. Really, the whole world suffered with COVID. I really think if we as Americans had done what was asked of us, this would be over by now. We should have banned together but instead it separated us. We have become such a self-centered entitled people. Me, me, me. Instead of looking at
our actions as effecting other people.

You think COVID was bad! Its going to get worse in this Country. Me I am 72 so I may not be effected by the changes but I am sure my daughters will be and my grandsons. I so hope I raised my girls to get thru whats coming. Because there are a lot of Americans who won't.

Yes, our elderly in homes suffered. Their families suffered with worry. I just got a message from a friend in a NH. He is quarantined to his room and no visitors allowed. I am so lucky my Mom passed before all this. Not sure how I would have handled it. But I live in a small populated area so maybe I would have found a nurse or aide to give me updates on Mom.

We have to become a United America to fight what ever comes.
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