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...Mom sounded sick over the phone a few days ago and apparently her dementia or her fatigue is the reason she did not tell her nurse. I called the facility and the second Covid test kicked me in the stomach.
So many questions. Why was she not noticed as sick (especially in these times?) And, all the grievances aside, most importantly, how are the coping strategies working? I miss her already.

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My LO was infected by a caregiver who was non-symptomatic until 2 days after LO got sick, so sadly, it really isn‘t surprising that your mom’s condition wasn’t picked up immediately.

The symptoms and general course of the illness is also wildly varied. My LO had gastrointestinal symptoms first, then the symptoms of a terrible chest cold.

When I got the first call, I requested that if possible, LO be kept at the AL. I also stated “no intubation”, and kind of freaked out over the fact that I knew also that the thought of her gasping for breath was horrific too.

She was sick for three weeks, and virus positive for over 3 months longer, so it was 5 months before we were able to see her, 5 or 6 outdoor visits, then the facility was locked down again.

The waiting and the difficult process of getting information is terrifying, and we’re in second wave, so it’s not over. I spend a certain amount of wasted time just wishing none of this had ever happened.

During our few visits, we observed that our LO hasn’t lost much since being sick.

I hope your mom has an easy and relatively uneventful course through this awful experience.
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My 85-yr old MIL is in LTC with cognitive issues and won't get out of bed. Other than that, no other underlying health problems. She got covid in May. Was very sick and weak for 3 weeks. They gave her 5lts oxygen per/day and Tylenol for comfort but nothing else (because she signed a DNR), even though she basically ate and drank nothing during that time. On week 4 she qualified for hospice. At the end of week 4 she recovered rapidly. She just got off hospice and has had a full recovery. If your LO's facility didn't have any covid during the spring they may not have been testing everyone on a regular basis this fall, like my MIL's place has been doing since October. People with cognitive issues don't interpret or express their pain and sickness like when they weren't compromised. MN passed an essential caregiver law back in June. You should be hounding your legislators about this every day so that your state can have access to their LOs in facilities. I wish you peace in your heart.
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AnnReid Dec 2020
Since my LO was infected by someone with no symptoms, I would prefer hounding for testing before I’d ever want her exposed for a second time to this horrific illness.

Many of us are frantic to see the faces of those we love so dearly before they leave us and seemingly forget that the threat of rapid reinfection is real.

If the MN law seems humane, it must be considered in the context of risk to all of the vulnerable, not just our own.

My state was pitifully neglected, even with the attempts at management imposed by a well informed, active governor, and no matter what reached the national press, supplies were never available to test enough to protect the vulnerable.

I’m not at all sure what the right thing is concerning care and comfort for those who have survived but having untested LOs entering care settings that already aren’t fully stable as virus free doesn’t ultimately seem to me like much of a kindness.

We all suffer whether infected by the virus itself or infected by the sorrow of loving someone who has. We are living in a national tragedy.
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