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(My mom is actually the one who normally cleans under grandma’s nails, not normally me). So mom tried cleaning under grandma’s nails after they both washed their hands but grandma hated it and said mom was being mean! Mom was able to clean some but nails are still not completely cleaned up. Hand washing is of course always important but especially important during the COVID-19 outbreak and we are concerned with grandma’s nails staying dirty. Anyone have any helpful tips on how we can get her to let us clean under her nails? I hate to say it but they look gross and who knows what is under them 😬

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I agree with cwillie: "She isn't out in the community picking up the virus so cleaning her hands doesn't need to go to any extraordinary measures beyond what you would normally do. Keep her nails short..." Yup.
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I have to say I so get you. 6 months it took to get my 94 year old grandmother to cut her 5+inch nails... ick. She is so old school uses the hanky after blowing her nose to drying her eyes. I finally found a happy medium. Say you want to show her something. Go to a sink or bring two bowls of hot water with soap petals and get her to play with them. As you do and make sensual noises and she will want to see for herself why you are so happy. Sounds silly but it worked. Now we have graduated to the sink and was together. It's like reverse psychology... I never thought she'd come this far. But with many tears time and hope. I can eat with her without feeling that ick. Ah. Thank the lord. Or pull the cleanliness is closest to godliness... that worked for a friend... she told her not washing properly was as bad as saying the lords name in vain... yeah. Sadly we do what we must... much love and luck to you all blessings. Jo
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Toenails become an issue too. Really bad because of risking ingrown nails.
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Ask her to soak her hands in a soapy wash, or Epsom salts to draw out dirt and debris. Tell her it will be fun and relaxing.
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Invite her to have a hand beauty treatment! Get a pretty bowl with some warm water and nail brush and pretty hand towels and let her soak her hands in the warm water with some liquid soap and afterwards a nice hand moisturiser. It can be a time for making contact with hand massage as well. Good luck!
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Some elders have the remnants of their bathroom trip under their nails. They simply haven't the ability to attempt to keep them clean. Try a soft brush.

I do NOT advocate that you take her to a nail salon right NOW. That is not advisable due to COVID-19.
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I have success using my mother’s secret to clean nails! Soak her fingertips in denture cleaner. We use $1 store denture tablets. Leaves nails clean and bright! Hope you find what will work for you! I still soak my nails in denture cleaner and remember mom.❤️
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MAYDAY Mar 2020
gonna try that ! thx.
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It's a nightmare. Have been in the same boat. Mom used to do her own nails and tend to them regularly...but she completely neglects her hygiene now and is nasty and obnoxious. What do you do about Grandma's toenails? Wondering if someone who does that (podiatrist) might be accepted, if it was allowed...For now my mom gets her nails filed (she wants no polish) by a hair stylist/nail person. Luckily she missed her hair appt but was in time to get her nails done the other day before the shut down of salons etc due to Corona virus. There is such a need for people who make home visits and do this sort of thing...my thought is that outsiders might be more acceptable/our relatives might be more agreeable...I have seen dirt under my mom's nails as well...if you get to the point of getting them done, obviously the shorter the better. Looking to see what others have said and hoping for some help myself!
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KatD81 Mar 2020
M grandfather gets his toes done professionally. Not sure if it's a podiatrist specifically, or some other foot health professional. It's great!
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My dad hates to have his nails clipped. I find it easier to clip them after I've soak them in warn soapy water for a little while. It doesn't seem to bother him as much. Maybe trying this will help. God bless you!
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Do it like they do at nail salon...or take her to nail salon. Soak hands in soap and water. Get a nail brush and brush the nails. Some people use those pointed metal files and I don't think I'd want someone else doing it to mine...it can hurt if you go a little too deep.
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With dementia et al-- re-direct ! And then resume after changing the atmosphere-- never let that evil thing that is trying to control the situation -- get the upper hand but don't treat it as an evil thing. Go with the flow. My mother was STILL my dear mother and I loved just as much as when she was all there.
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I bought those surgeons' scrub brushes at the pharmacy and we use them. the bristles are soft plastic/silicone and i have found my mom to be less resistant when i use them. we disinfect them after each use.
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I tell her she’s getting manicure....I have my mother soak each hand in soap water one at a time ...then take nail utensil to clean under nails...then clip with nail clippers...she makes a fuss and pulls back & I have to go back & continue..its not like she will let me do it without a fuss & a fight...if she gets too agitated then I leave it till later... but it’s important also because she can scratch me and my private pay caregiver with longer nails...hugs 🤗
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Mom and I go for mani/pedis every 2-3 weeks. Mom likes long nails and I have to talk to the technician to make sure they are not too long, but it is sometimes a bit of a battle. Luckily, my mother still is able to take care of her own toileting and in the last few years, has only had 2 UTI's. And I did find that going early afternoon works best, as last time we couldn't go until later, closer to 4 and that bit of nastiness shows during the sundowning hours, which for her begins around 4 / 4:30.
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Set up a little dish with warm water and soap. Pamper her and tell her you are giving her a manicure. Soak the nails in warm water for 10 minutes and pat dry gently with towel. Give her a hand massage with scented lotion. If she enjoys this, you can do this with her feet too. Warm water foot bath with epsom salt will help remove dead skin, and relax her. Hope this works for you. PS I use a Dremel file (walmart) for thick toe nails in poor condition, impossible to cut without soak. Impossible to cut period Good luck. I know how hard it is to do personal care on unwilling client.
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A soft toothbrush or nail brush with antibacterial soap. Both can be sterilized in dishwasher . Washing dishes is a great idea if she's able. My mom fights me cutting toenails. They grow so long and curve under. I am a licensed cosmetologist, I say I learned this in beauty school. She doesn't care ,whines like a little girl. Her toes are a mess. When I first realized she had stopped cutting them, they had grown so far down she was walking on them.
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I understand and relate to that completely....My mother was the same way.....since they do not like to get wet it's almost a big task cleaning them up. This is what I did. I don't know how responsive you mom is nor state Dementia nor age for that matter. But, not to worry. I fill some plastic gloves and fill the tips with sanitizier with at least 62% alcohol and help her put them on. Once that is done without hurting her get some mittens and place them on over the gloves if she understands you. Just explain that her hand are too cold and you have warm them up keep conversing with her for about 2-3 minutes explaining you do not want to her hands wet because you will cleaning around her and you need her hands to stay dry. See if you make her hold something for her keeping her mind off the mittens and hands and whala!.......after all the fuss you can keep making that habit and next thing you know she will become acustom to this. It worked for me I pray it helps you. 18 yrs with mother and Dementia she knows my face and voice sort of but cannot remember anything else Bless her heart. Good Luck and God Bless.
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RB2019 Mar 2020
This is an excellent suggestion. My Mom has Huntington’s and I cannot soak her nails due to the movement.
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I second MAYDAYs suggestions.... I do my moms nails weekly and find that soaking them in warm soapy water softens the nails thus, causing less pain when touching, filing and trimming them and also helps loosen the unwanted under-nail-GUNK for easier removal (for which I use a kids toothbrush with soft bristles). I've been keeping them shorter than usual as of late to make keeping them clean easier.
Good Luck!
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I use a toothbrush with mom.
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Hello, GoodBird:

A soft nail brush was not mentioned in your question. Has that method been tried? Sorry this message got duplicated. Your Mom and yourself tell your Grandma you love her!
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My brother is in a nursing home, he had a brainstem bleed traumatic brain injury. Can’t walk, talk, swallow. Has a feeding tube.
His hands are curled in pretty badly from the spasticity and contracture. He somehow manages to get really disgusting nails. His lack of coordination meant also that he would gouge his face or ears when just trying to scratch an itch. Pretty gross and god knows what bacteria he was injecting into those cuts.

I would wash his hands then clip the nails but had a real problem with it bleeding. The solution that made me able to safely clip his nails was to do a pre-cleaning under his nails with the slanted end of an orange stick used in manicures. I wrap an alcohol prep pad over it and clean all the gunk out from under the nail, pushing the skin that tends to grow under the nail down. I change the positioning of the pad for each finger, always using a clean surface, and using a nee pad for each hand. That creates not only a cleaner more sanitized nail but also makes it safer to clip since you have a nice white line showing you how far you can clip and not make it bleed. I clip just shy of that and then do lots of filing smooth so he doesn’t scratch himself. Make sure to file the corners of each nail because as they grow out even a little they can be so so sharp for someone who has coordination issues.
Oh yes I also do a pre soak of each hand in a plastic hand basin with a little antibacterial soap added. His hands get horribly mildewy smelling because he keeps his hands partially clenched due to the contracture. Have not found any doctor or nurse who can advise on how to mitigate that. Facility staff won’t do any of this. They categorise nail clipping as a surgical procedure. So I do the above process with his hands and with his feet too. Otherwise he would have nasty dirty talons. They also don’t clean eyes, ears, noses even on patients like my brother who can do none of this himself. I do it but now with the coronavirus lockdown he is going to be a mess.
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Sweetstuff Mar 2020
You are a wonderful sister!
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Do a manicure for grandma.
Nail brush to clean the nails.
Cut the nails as short as you possibly can. (if you do polish use clear so you can see when the nails become soiled again)
If grandma is not out gardening I am sure the "dirt" under her nails is a mix of...hold your lunch folks...dead skin cells, food, fecal matter.
Current recommendations are not to use a nail brush as they can get pretty gross (see above) and most are not cleaned properly. The way to clean under the nails is to scrub the nails in the palm of the other hand. You do one then the other, if this is done each time you wash the hands it will do a good job of cleaning under the nails.
The trick now is to get grandma to wash her hands properly.
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Get a nail brush and show granny how to use it. These are available at beauty supply stores for a couple of dollars and are very effective at cleaning under the nails without sharp objects.
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During awake times, just have their hands washed as often as they allow. When napping or sleeping, clean & trim the nails. I did that with my mom & dad as neither of them were willing to let me do their nails while awake, so the only time that I could trim & clean under their nails were when they were napping during the day or early in the morning before they woke up.
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I don't think the threat is in your own home. Just don't take Grandma out unless necessary. I would even cancel appts at this point.
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My sister's nails are always gross. An aid was doing her nails up until I said stop. The polish was layers and layers....long nails, serious gunk under the nails. Sis used to love getting her nails done all the time. She knows I want the best for her to be clean and healthy, feel as good as possible.

I don't think aides always tried to get sis to wash hands after using the bathroom either. I don't hear the water running after-she just comes out-we go right back in to wash hands.

No no more polish, keep them very short. Sis did not seem to mind-I say we need to keep every thing as clean as possible and looking good. I always scrub down with a small tooth brush and antibacterial soap. But I only get there a couple times per week before we moved this week. She is not allowed to keep her toiletries in her room and wall soap dispenser is empty at times and no paper towels to dry off.

They never help with teeth brushing either. Sis is cooperative-staff is just extremely lazy. Dentist says teeth are much worse than last check up. So I have proof they are not doing what is needed to provide appropriate care.

Now sis in a new place, can't go see as they are in lock down due to corona-we'll have to see how it goes.
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CaregiverTxX2 May 2020
The trials and tribulations of having a loved one in a nursing facility can be so difficult! I know exactly what you mean about the nails and the teeth cleaning issues. Seems these things are not considered Important by staff.
My brother can’t speak or communicate other than yes/no questions to staff (he can spell out words with a modified ASL alphabet but only to me since we have changed so many letter positions due to his hand contractures from brain injury). Anyway, they think he can’t speak therefore he is intellectually damaged (he’s not) and so when he tells me they don’t brush his teeth they say they did and he is confused. He isn’t. They refuse to do nails, it’s considered a surgical procedure. Every 6 months a “podiatrist” comes around and cuts toenails. Charges 250 bucks for this “doctor visit”. What a scam.
But one thing you might mention to your nursing facility is that nursing home facilities can decrease their incidence of bacterial pneumonia (a huge problem and cause of death in homes) by 50% if they just do THOROUGH daily teeth brushing with toothbrush, toothpaste and, for those with swallowing difficulties like my brother, a suction machine. I use suction toothbrushes and swabs for cleaning and rinsing. Sadly, the staff won’t use his suction machine so when they “brush” his teeth they only use a sponge swab on a stick and swipe his mouth with it.
There is so much more detail work that I do that they won’t...in his case because he is totally dependant. I still can’t understand how they can look at him and not see that his eye is infected and glued shut almost every day, or that he has dried rocks clogging his nose, or wax plugging his ears. A lot of that. And lips so chapped they are peeling in sheets. It takes five minutes to clear his nose, ears, eyes. Another five to brush his teeth and put on some lip balm. But they don’t have time and assume I will do it anyway. But now he is on lockdown and I finally saw him this week at an outside doctor appointment. He is a hot mess, as expected.
Stay strong during this lockdown. As bad as it is, I realize that for the vulnerable nursing home population this is the best thing for his safety and for me and my husband (he’s just had his 43rd chemo treatment so is vulnerable to anything I might bring home).
Just know that when this lockdown Is over we are all going to have some major cleanup to do!
Hang in there! (Sorry such a long answer I promise you this was the abridged version, I rarely have a chance to vent to anyone who is in similar circumstances. Ok plus I admit I am just wordy!)
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Agree keep nails short. Maybe a soft toothbrush for scrubbing underneath would work. My mother is a "picker" so it's not just food under there it's who knows what. It's not something I look forward to doing 😞 Her CNA's with hospice usually help me out with that.
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If she is able, having her help do the dishes is a great way to get her hands clean. I have also given my MIL a dish of soapy water with a toothbrush and asked her to help me clean my jewelry. This approach was easier because she is in a wheelchair , so we just set it up on the kitchen table.
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gdaughter Mar 2020
VERY CLEVER!!
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She isn't out in the community picking up the virus so cleaning her hands doesn't need to go to any extraordinary measures beyond what you would normally do. Keep her nails short and order some surgical scrubbies, they are much gentler than a normal nail brush.
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If that seems too harsh.. baking soda n water
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hydrogen peroxide will help with warm water to exfoliate the stuff inside nails and hands.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Good idea!
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