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She is 89 and in a wheelchair with a spinal cord injury. She has severe balance issues and wears a gait belt for transfers. I can get her on the toilet, but she can't get her thighs apart enough to wipe herself. She's afraid she'll fall and I am too if she leans too far forward. We have grab bars but again balance is a problem. I've looked at toileting aids and they all seem designed for people who don't have this issue. She is in an apartment so we can't install anything new. Has anyone else had this problem?

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It sounds like you're going to have someone hold her up with the gait belt and someone else do the cleaning up.
I had to do that with my husband who was completely bedridden. I had to hire an aide to come in the mornings to put him on the bedside commode, so he could poop. When he was done she would hold him up with a gait belt, and I would clean him up. That worked quite well. Now my husband had a supra pubic catheter, so I didn't have to worry about cleaning him after he peed, only after he pooped.
I wish you the best as you get things figured out. You certainly don't want her getting a UTI because she's not cleaned properly.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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What about a bidet?
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Reply to KathleenQ
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Get a wheeled commode.* Check the height and adjust it so that the commode can be wheeled over the toilet.** Remove the bucket. Assist your mother to transfer to the commode. Push her over the toilet. Allow privacy. When she calls you, wheel her off and support with any personal care she can't manage. Or, if neither she nor you is happy about that, consider handing her a shower attachment to use as an improvised bidet. If there's no shower cubicle accessible to her, assist her to stand briefly while you replace the commode's bucket, and use that to catch the washing water. You can then support with initial drying which she can complete in detail once she has returned to bed.

*Preferably a shower commode - not only waterproof, but also usually more comfortable for the person and more easily manoeuvrable for you; + their buckets hold a good couple of gallons of water.
** With its seat up.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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