Any experience with prostate cancer?

Yes, BIL had this surgery at a well regarded hospital in New Jersey. Unfortunately, the surgery was done incorrectly. It had to be repeated and fortunately he was able to have it done at Sloan Kettering in New York. If at all possible I would highly recommend that you obtain a consult at this hospital but not if it means delaying what must be done. Fortunately, prostate cancer is a very slow growing cancer. May I ask how old he is?

A close friend had this surgery done at age 65.

Honestly, it ruined his life. He has no sex life. The surgery left him completely incapable. The surgeon had convinced him that they would not have an issue staying away from the nerves....but....even with that....

this is cancer is so slow moving that he had a very good chance of dying of old age first anyway. But, he feels he was scared into doing the surgery, and regrets not taking lots of time.

I had two uncles in law who were diagnosed with Prostate cancer just over 20 years ago. One had surgery, knowing it likely would be the end of his sex life, the other refused surgery and took hormone treatment.

The one who had surgery is an active happy 80 plus. The one who refused surgery is dead. He died about 4 years after diagnosis. The cancer metastasized into his bones and his death was painful as his wife would not let the medical staff give him morphine.

The one who had surgery was given the option of an implanted penile pump, but I have no idea if he got one.

My exSO had a prostatectomy. At that time we were living together amicably but having decided to part, if you see what I mean, so although I was supportive I wasn't as closely involved in his post-op care as I otherwise might have been.

The surgery was rough on him, but the recovery and follow-up radiotherapy not as bad as he'd feared; and as far as I know he is now, four-five years later, alive and well. He was a good, compliant patient and pretty fit for his age (mid-sixties).

The best tip I have for your husband is to join one of the reputable men's forums for prostate cancer. There are several, but you might like to start with the American Cancer Society's one. Because the whole subject is such a sensitive one, tied in with intimacy and identity, I think it helps men to talk to one another in a safe, anonymous space. Certainly I was surprised and impressed with how much my ex seemed to gain from the one he belonged to (https://prostatecanceruk.org - but I expect your husband would prefer a US based conversation).