Trying to make a long story short. My mom is 67, has MS and has been in a scooter the past five years and unable to walk, but she was always able to transfer herself. About two months ago, her new scooter tipped over and she broke her hip in the fall. She has been at rehab at a nursing home trying to get better to get home. But she has not been able to stand well on her own still and is not even close to being able to transfer herself. Medicaid and Medicare are paying for her rehab.

The physical therapist just told her yesterday that they do not want her going home by herself. I feel the same way but have not told my mom because I didn't want her to give up hope quite yet. They suggested an assisted living facility. I have two issues with that. Isn't it necessary to be able to transfer oneself to be a resident at an assisted living facility? Also, the cost, she cannot afford any of them, at least in our state. From what I can tell Medicaid and Medicare do not cover the cost of them.

If she is unable to transfer herself and if we can't afford an assisted living facility, is the only alternative a nursing home? We are trying not to let that happen but I think it is the only choice. By the way I am the only family member helping her and I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and am pregnant with our third and my husband works long hours 6-7 days a week so there is no way I can give her the assistance she needs now.

We have an ombudsman helping her now and I will call her Monday to see if she has ideas, but I wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions on here. Everyone was so helpful on my last few posts.

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Thank you for your response. Fortunately my mom does not need any special monitoring equipment, the only help she really needs is transferring. I helped cook all her meals and take care of the rest before. I wonder if we could continue her life at home and find a caregiver we could afford to help her transfer. Not sure how that would all work at night but something for us to consider. She is currently on a waiting list for help from the state for when she goes home, but I don't think it will be enough help by itself.

Personally I feel it would be best for her if she lives in assisted living or nursing home, she needs the extra help unfortunately. She told me yesterday that she would just go home and deal with it before going to a nursing home though. It puts me in a bad position and I am not sure what to do. I will wait to see what the social worker where she is at says as well as her ombudsman before I let myself worry too much. There may not be much choice in this matter.
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Assisted living is for seniors who can live independently in an apartment, need some minor help not 24 hour help. The draw back is at assisted living there is usually no special medical monitoring equipment that one would find in a nursing home, and their nursing staff may not be available at all hours.

If you prefer assisted living, one way might be to see if you could hire a caregiver to help your Mom during the day, that is if the assisted living facility would allow that. That would be an added cost that might not be in your Mom's reach. See if your State Medicaid offers vouchers to help pay for the assisted living rent and/or caregiver.

Thus, a nursing home sounds like the only option, and Medicaid will pay for that. Gosh, your Mom is so young to be going through all this. Also check to see if Medicaid would pay for a part-time caregiver to help your Mom out if she does go back home. Hopefully your Mom will become strong enough to be able to transfer herself.
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