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My husband with AD has been up until about 2:00 AM the last few nights either looking for something (he doesn’t really know what) in his drawers or closet or just organizing his drawers. He gets quite belligerent if I tell him it’s late and he needs his sleep or that I need my sleep. He tells me it has nothing to do with me and to go to sleep. However he is muttering as he does this and banging around and I certainly am not going to let him be up alone. He does sleep quite late in the AM but has always done that and still slept at night. I’ve been keeping him busy during the day trying to tire him out, and our kids have been visiting a lot as well for the same reason but that doesn’t seem to be working. Last night when he couldn’t find what he thought he was looking for he started to say I just don’t know what’s wrong with me and was quite upset. I lay with him and rubbed his back and talked quietly to him and he finally fell asleep. It doesn’t quite fit the description of sundowning so I’m wondering if this is just a new stage of the disease and if anyone has any suggestions. I know I can try waking him earlier in the morning but to be honest I love that alone time with my coffee and book. I’d do it tho but I’m not sure it will do the trick. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Just a thought, could he be getting over tired? I can't sleep when I am overly tired.

I agree you need your mornings for you time. I pray that whatever this is, it will be short lived and he starts going to sleep earlier.

Hugs🤗
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
Thank you so much , especially about understanding how important my mornings are to me . That time alone to gather myself for the rest of the day is the greatest self-care I can give myself .
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My LO had a period just recently in which she would waken at 1 or 2 am and insist that it was morning and that she must have her coffee.

A small dose of melatonin was recommended, and that seems to be working.

LO is in a very good secured MCU, and we have access to wonderful services from an agency that provides sensitive, well trained specialists to deal with geriatric psychiatric issues. She sleeps through the day some days, and is awake and beautifully dressed others.
My grandmother (LO’S Mom) developed a similar pattern in her early seventies. I’m trying to break the mold on this problem, as the 3rd generation of women with chronic unrefreshing sleep.

In my LO’s situation, her wake/sleep schedule doesn’t seem related to her fatigue level, and I think this may be why the small dose of melatonin seemed to help.
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
Yes I’ve been thinking of melatonin. I believe I can just get it at the pharmacy but wondering what the smallest dose is .
thank you
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Maybe your husband is being over stimulated by the visitors.
Making the environment peaceful might help, and rubbing his back worked, so you have got this! Good job.

Does he have medication prescribed for anxiety?
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
Thank you for the encouragement!
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My mother went through this as well. I really can't say this is a phase or not. It wasn't Sundown Syndrome! It was like she was stuck on finding something and she would turn all the lights on in the house going through drawers, cabnets and closets, but never knowing what she was looking for and she would get very upset and confuses, however, as fast as this phase came--it went. I didn't know what it was at the time and I wasn't sure if she had dementia. Now, I know she has VaD.

As for your hubby, I think Send might be on to something about him being over stimulated. As one poster suggest Melatonin and if that doesn't work then talk to hubby's Dr. Maybe you will get lucky as I did and your hubby will just stop as my mother did.
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
What you’re describing about your mother is EXACTLY my husband’s behavior . Amazing how just that made me feel better. Thank you !
Hopefully it will stop as well . The melatonin is also a good idea .
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Your welcome! Glad to be of helped!
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Just a thought:
I was up at 3:00 a.m., and could not get back to sleep. Worry, I guess.
But when my hubs wakes up later this morning, I am going to ask him what WAS he looking for the last two days, and into the night last night.

A change in behavior always has me on high alert, and I watch him carefully.
He does not have a diagnosis of dementia, but recently had a mini-mental exam, an MRI, and a referral to a neurologist.

If he keeps it up, I will take him to the neurologist. However, so many doctors have been saying, "You can't cure everything".

I prefer it to be called a phase.
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I’m not sure if he has drug allergies or can take the otc zzzquil? I have to take it sometimes and it lets me sleep for at least 8 hours and I go to sleep within 10 minutes, they say it’s non habit forming but it really works for me.
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clamcc Jun 2019
active ingredient in most otc sleep medications is diphenhydramine aka benadryl which, I believe, disrupts sleep patterns. But if you choose to use that, check the labels for the active ingredient to find the best buy. and always watch for alcohol in bottles of liquid medicine. You don't want the alcohol to interact with medications. I use 1/2 of generic sominex when I need to sleep quickly, be able to wake up to care-give and be coherent, but I usually don't take it unless I can be sure that I can get 8 hours sleep.
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I am with you on quiet mornings by yourself. I pray each day when I wake up that I can have a peaceful breakfast and read the paper to start my day off on a positive note. My spouse has frontal lobe dementia...he either sleeps both day and night or up all day. however he always is up around 1am or 2am getting into mischief. He takes food out of the pantry and leaves it on kitchen counters, table. Also takes cutlery out of drawer and deposits it in various locations in the kitchen and his bathroom. I take the knobs off the stove so that he can't turn it on (before this he was turning it on and forgetting) I sleep in shifts 8-12pm fall asleep watching TV...try to stay awake to oversee hubby when he is "taking care of business in the kitchen 1-2a.m then I try to sleep again 2a.m. = 7am. I tell myself this is a game..."am I up to the challenge presented today".
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
Thank you . I am learning to nap when he naps , like a mom does with a baby . Like everything else it just takes adjusting to the new behavior . Nice to know someone understands how important that morning alone time is .Also nice to get such positive feedback from everyone . Thank you
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My Papa had the same behaviors, but his were during the day.. His Doctor said it is anxiety. He prescribed a half a Xanax and that seems to work - enough to take the edge off his anxiety but not enough to make him sleepy.

You may want to tell his Doctor what is happening and see what he suggests.

i hope you both get a good night’s sleep soon!
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Sleep disorders are common with dementia. I'd discuss with his doctor and ask about a sleep aid. That would help him rest and you would be able to get your sleep too.
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Melatonin comes as small as 1 mg and you can also get 1 mg sustained release so it will last through the night if you give it a half an hour before bed
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Somethingelsa Jun 2019
Thank you for that information .
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Dear woman: You've given yourself the answer in the first few lines of your post. "Your husband with AD." Unfortunately, his mind is broken and there is no cure. It may come to a time when he needs care by medical professionals. I also suggest as he keeps on getting visitors that they attempt to arrive much earlier as stimulating conversation too late into the evening may keep his mind a little too active, especially since it's not functioning normally, unfortunately.
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As 3 pm arrives close curtains and lower lighting. That helps with sundowners. There are medications that help as well through my 20 years experence I have found lorazepam is helpful in sleeping and anxiety. I do a routine at bed time. I shower them out them to bed and say a prayer as I tell them goodnight. There are 3 things they never forget. 1 their first name. 2 they may not be able to call you by name but always know you belong to them. 3 prayer even if it was not a constant in their life it is the thing I can promise of confusion comes on take their hands and pray out loud you will see an instant calm. And remember God is watching out for you and God loves you.
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I'm using 2.5 mg of melatonin for my mother who has dementia. I snap a 5mg in half but you could also do a 3mg. It seems to help her sleep a little better. She still wakes up some though.
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I started watching, no more like listening since there is nothing to watch, Youtube Chakra meditation videos which put me to sleep almost immediately and they go for 8,9,10 hours. They also seemed to calm down all the bouncing, thumping and bumping on the other side of the bed. When I told the doctor about how little sleep I had been getting he prescribed Clonazepam, low dose opiate drug, which knocked him out and constipated him. These meditation youtubes work about as well without the constipation.
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Melatonin is actually manufactured in our bodies and as we age, we make less. I have used it in the past, a formulation that also included Valerian root, sometimes referred to as nature's valium. I wouldn't worry about finding the smallest dose. You can find it easily on the internet, learn about it and be very comfortable about giving this supplement to your loved one. It is necessary for our bodies to keep our sleep schedule regulated.
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