Anger management for caregivers only.

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What to do when the anger is justifiable, but one cannot act upon it? The care receiver can dish it out, it becomes wearing, about to explode-what do you do?We cannot just run away from the situation, a commitment has been made and kept. Sending the disturbing party off to a nursing home is not the plan. The caregiver has been to burnout and beyond, what's next? How to manage when it is making you sick?Caregivers helping each other through the anger, check in here. Love and understanding found here!

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This is my first time on a forum like this. So much helpful advice! especially useful for me is the don't-engage-in-arguments and walk-out-of-the-room strategies, coz I can be so easily engaged by my dh's irrational, illogical arguments. Jeanne mentioned respite. So desperately needed but so hard to find! Could anyone give any more info or pointers?
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I have come to the conclusion that support from professionals - and I mean support not bloody lip service is all we actually need and today has been a good day for me. the doctors has restricted what i can do and is putting in place help for ME when it comes to things like fecal impaction - I HAVE A TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR OUT OF HOURS! I am so excited.

The memory nurse is going to recommend memantine AND INSISTS I get 6 weeks respite a year - I am beside myself. Now if all this comes to fruition I will be like a dog with two tails!
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8/19/2016. 11:45 a.m. pacific daylight time
--Date Stamps missing on the question threads NOW.

It was Louie, for sure!
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I was listening to a play yesterday where the villain of the piece menaces the little guy with "I've been on five anger management courses. And I failed ALL of them."

It's okay to feel angry when it's rational and under control. The trouble starts when you bottle it up so that it explodes all over the place, and you can't tell what the cause was, and you can't control what damage it does.

I agree with Jeanne - it's crucial to identify the real culprit.
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Oh that was written in humour not for real and should say m'lud
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But m'lid I have been to anger management classes and I can attest I followed their instructions to the letter

How to control my anger in easy steps...

Firstly you must understand that they cannot help the way they are... SO
Get sleep when you can because you need your strength
Eat healthy food because you need your strength
Never engage in an argument walk away
If you can satisfy their need calmly then do so then walk away and smile
Call help when you need help
Finally Get time away from your loved one

So m'lud I followed those steps to the letter.....
I booked Mum and I into a hotel with adjoined rooms and I gave mum a sleeping tablet so I could sleep too - we both slept for 8 hours
I ordered and ate a fine steak
Mum asked me to give her arsenic so instead of arguing I went to the shops and got some and gave it to her...then I walked away smiling
I called the ambulance because I knew she would need help
And now I am going to be given a prison sentence so I will be away from Mum

Anger management classes do work!
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Thank you Jessebelle, for understanding and encouraging.
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Tonight took a ride to Costco, of all places to dine in relaxation and luxury, pulling up the moon was full, just sitting in the sky at the end of the parking lot.
Ok, I'm okay here folks, false alarm, how did I not know it was the full moon, and two hot dogs later, I know that in a few days I will be calmer. Learned to chart moods years ago with PMS, then did not understand that effect would continue way after, until it was observable with the full moon. So, if you only are truly crazy some of the time........ . . . - - - . . ., that is ok.
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BTW, Send, you have built a life that matters. It may not be the ultra-wealthy life so idolized in America, but it is a good and kind life. Now if you could only have a bit of fun.
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Send, I know a lot of what you are feeling. It can be like being shut in a cage with someone poking sticks at you. Sometimes instead of the oft-quoted "It's not the person, it's the disease," I think we ought to say, "It's not you, it's just the position you're in." No one should be put alone in the position that caregivers often face.

This is fresh in my mind, because my mother came into my room screaming like a banshee that if I didn't set up the humidifier than she was going to die right now. She started screaming about how I should always have it going. (The house is already 69% humidity, so we know it's not the air being dry.) She went on yelling at me and scared my rabbit away from her dinner and probably sent my bp through the roof with her hysterics. And if someone tells me that it's not her, it's the disease, all I will do is to say "bite me."
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