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Husband has always been verbally abusive but after his stroke his anger has doubled.


He is at home now. Needs constant care.


I have grown to hate the man and want to find out what my options are.


Any and all advice appreciated.

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How long since the stroke? What pathway did his treatment follow? Any rehab?

Have you had any conversations about his ongoing care with his medical team(s)?
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Does he have access to a rehab facility? I might inquire about a mental and physical assessment so you know what is really going on with him. I'd explore getting help, medical options, medication and placement. You don't have to do it all alone.
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Just to add to the above excellent answers: have you had a consultation with a geriatric psychiatrist about his behavior? Is he currently on any psych meds?
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Thank you soooo much for your input and advice.
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Unfortunately the part of the brain that controls anger may have been effected by the stroke.

Imagine, however, how frustrating it must be for the stroke patient to want to say something but can’t remember how,cannot think of the word and is in all probability miserable.

However if his anger spills over to verbal verbal abuse to you, then yes have him evaluated for medication to control those swings. But realize too it may not improve for a very long time.

The brain tissue was injured and won’t regenerate.
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We have a good friend who suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. We visited him several times while he was in various facilities. He was frequently angry and agitated. This is a very close friend and it was painful when he yelled at my husband for imagined reasons. He is now home with care as his wife works full time. We have visited there and although he can get frustrated with his situation he is happy to see us and we have laughs together. It took time for some healing to take place and also to determine the right medications. Perhaps your situation could improve in time. I am sorry you are being abused. Hopefully you have discussed his anger with his doctors to see how it might be treated.
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