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I hate living with a person who doesnt even know how crazy they are and is like a walking zombie.


I know this person had this for years before formally diagnosed.


We were ruined by their choices and I never had a say in any important desision. It was always their way or the highway, I did not know how they were till God opened my eyes.


Now I do everything so I'm not under his total tyranny anymore which is good for me.


Thx for letting me talk. No one can help me. We don't have money, the few years I have left I fear will be wasted.


I've already been sexually abused by this person and blamed and called names by this person them trying to demean me. So now I don't let them touch me. He's also a covert narcissit who has manipulayed me with so many covert ways to manipulate me. I try never to engage in conversation but still get lured in and then feel violated emotionally and like an idiot. Anyway now im trapped. Yet I'm making a life for myself as much as I can. Thx for letting me talk. We don't have much money. I pray I will be free while I still have some good yrs left. So sad the losing their mind. The droolings getting worse. He's on I THINK THE LAST meds there is for dementia/ahltzheimers meds. They are drowzy and sleep most of the day in their chair. Yet they dont want to stop them. The first med they took was worse and the doc would not take them off ... I had to say to the dr they wanted to stop as they said they wanted to stop as the side effects were worse than the one they are on now. No one can help for this mind killing disease can not been helped or cured. It runs this family

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I’m sorry that you are dealing with this nightmare. Sending hugs your way!💗
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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disney - your husband's condition sounds pretty far down the dementia progression. Perhaps, it's time for him to be placed in a nursing home. I know you mention you don't have much money. You should look into applying for Medicaid to help pay for nursing home. Then he can be taken care of by the professionals and you can reclaim your life.

Do a search on this site for Medicaid. You'll find many threads and articles on this topic.
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Reply to polarbear
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I'm sorry to hear about this, you will find this a great site for information and caring people. I am sort of in your situation, but not the spouse dementia, just the emotional abuse? And his health, plus he is relying on me too much with the mother.
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Reply to auntsally
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I'm so sad for your situation. There are many others on this forum with very similar dilemmas as yours. Besides sending you a big ((hug)) people here can also make practical and helpful suggestions for possible solutions...are you interested? If so, some more specific info would be helpful.

Are you living in a home that you own or an apartment?
Is the person you talk about your spouse? How old is this person? What medical/mental problems do they have (other than being abusive and dementia/ALZ)?
Have you contacted social services and talked to anyone about applying for Medicaid for yourself and allowing the other person to become a ward of the county so you no longer have to care for them?
Have you considered moving to a women's shelter temporarily?
When you say "we", who else are you living with/caring for?
Wishing you rest and peace and hope!
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Reply to Geaton777
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I understand, so very sorry. I tried to take care of my husband, who had cancer, I still worked and hired some caretakers for him during the day...well...it went ok until the dementia set in, that changed the entire playing field, it was downhill from there.

Eventually, I moved him to one of our rental properties and hired a live in nurse, he remained there until he was placed in Hospice and died shortly thereafter.

I don't have any advice to offer. I would ask...have you looked into placing him somewhere? If I hadn't moved my husband out of the house I would have ended up in the looney bin, his disease took me down to my knees. I have recovered and would never home care take again, recently placed my step-father and his wife, and mother in different AL homes, I am helping them from an arms length away.

I wish you the best!
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Reply to anonymous912123
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