I am new to this, so i thought i would start by venting what I'm going thru for the last 2 years. im 30 years old and my fiancé and i have been together almost 7 years (getting married may 2014). We are both self employed, running a business together and i work primarily from home. My Fiances dad is now 87 years old and has been living with us for a few years. His health was great until about 2 years ago when he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and afib. From there his health has been rapidly declining, and he is on more meds than ever. This is a guy who still works (although we had to close down his office about 5 months ago so he can work from home as well). I knew that once he was home 24/7 things would change. He is home ALL THE TIME, and we went from having a decent amount of privacy to almost none!! He watches tv all day and its sooo loud you can hear it thru the whole house. He wont wear the headphones and thinks he hears just fine. I dont even work in my office anymore because i cant concentrate. Recently he had laser surgery on his prostate because we found out it was blocking the urine from draining from his bladder. Th surgery didnt work so now he has to "self cath" 4 times a day becuase his bladder "died". The doctor says it is less likely to get an infection this way as opposed to a permanent catheter. I agree, but now there is always piss all over the guest bathroom all the time, and he isn't a really clean person to begin with. I am in there scrubbing almost every day. Feces too becuz he cant seem to get to the toilet quick enough. He gets a urinarytract infection at least once a month which often means a trip to the ER since it always seems to fall on a weekend. I have always taken him to all his doc appts and i lay out his meds every week. I am good at it and very organized. My fiancé has taken the lead in running the business, but i still have a lot of responsibilities with our business on top of caring for his dad. I cant just walk away from work and we cant afford to hire help with our business. At 30 years old i feel like i am meant to do something more than this. I like to work! I like to be independent. We are currently renting a 4 bedroom house, we need a bedroom for his dad, one for his 13 year old daughter which is with us half the time, an office and of course our bedroom. We are getting married in 5 months and want to start a family. I dont even have room for a baby let alone the time. I feel like i am caring for a child right now. I am always waiting for something to go wrong with him because once he gets better something else always happens. For example, he had yet another UTI last month that almost killed him. He went into septic shock and had to be hospitalized for a week. He is constantly having problems self cathing and its obviously causing these frequent infections. Its quite a production for someone to insert a catheter 4 times a day, but an 87 year old man who is frail and looses his balance is a huge challenge. My relationship is definitely suffering, and lately my fiancé and i feel like prisoners in our own home. He craves socialization but WILL NOT take up a hobby or go to a senior center to meet people. So he is always trying to talk our ears off about this or that, but our schedules Are always so hectic, so its tough to just sit there and let him finish. Then when i tell him "sorry i have to be somewhere, can we talk later?" He gets really annoyed and then things just get awkward. He also cant hear anything at all so conversations are extremely difficult. I know i must sound ridiculous all my complaining. I see a lot of people on here that have worse situations than mine, and i feel for all of you. I am grateful i am not in the advanced stages of caregiving yet, but i also feel like i am seeing what is yet to come for us. The way things are going, i just know im gonna try to have a baby or two and something is going to go wrong with my father in law. We cant leave for very long as it is right now. i dont even know what we are going to do with him when we go on our honeymoon!!! Every time we leave now, he burns something on the stove, or cuts himself, or falls. Like i said, im young and so is my fiancé. He just has an older father. I wasn't expecting to have to experience this kind if thing until i was much older. I am super depressed and feel like i am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I dont even see my friends anymore. Plus now we have to worry about saving money for when the time comes to get a higher level of care for him. We have just started making a life for ourselves!!!. I am so resentful that this will affect the money we need to start a family!!! I am such a terrible person, i wish there was a solution.