I am about to get married and am very happy about this. My fiance and I live with his Mother who has Alzheimer's with Dementia stage 3. Because of my fiance's work schedule and routine health needs, I am home much of the time with my Mother In Law. It is not always easy because I have had to decrease my work hours to accomodate being home with her. Also, she has gotten in my face numerous times and even grabbed me in order to try and take things out of my hands, especially keys for my car. At times I don't want to be around her because of this however, I know that I am responsible for her. This sickens me in a way, because I feel forced. I want to to marry my fiance; but, I don't like feeling tied down with caring for her and not being able to do things for myself. So, I am getting to my point. Because of his health situation, there is the possibility that he might not be around in the long run. I hate to accept this and acknowledge this! But, I have to face reality. In the event something happens to him, he has told me that my Mother In Law would be with me and I would take care of her. I am having a hard time grasping this and haven't said anything to my husband. I do love her and definitely want to make sure she is cared for. Although I do not have a well paying job and can't even afford to pay for household bills. Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you!
When there is an elderly patient at home, one needs to have an One-Year Plan to cover all the possibilities. Yes, go down the "what if" list discussion. That way your future hubby and you are on the same page. Especially when Alzheimer's/Dementia is involved as it only gets worse.
You both need to discuss what would happen if future hubby becomes ill, will you be able to take care of him and also his mother? Or vise versa, what if you become ill, would he be able to take care of you and his mother?
Make sure legal documents are in place, such as Power of Attorney, especially with Mother-in-law if she is still able to understand legal documents. Future hubby could be primary POA for his Mom, with you as secondary. If you find yourself alone taking care of future Mom-in-law the Power of Attorney will allow you to make decisions regarding your Mom-in-law.