Am I a caregiver?

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My husband is in a NH, but I am going through a lot. Remember me? They wanted to transfer him. I thought the story was ended with the intervention of the Ombudsman, but there is more. It is a very hard situation visiting him, listening to the Social Services people describing me the worst scenario because of his aggressive behavior, "Baker Act", "Psych tests", "isolation", etc.... I do not clean after him, I do not change diapers, but I can not sleep just thinking about what is going to happen every time the telephone rings. Am I a caregiver?

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Yeah, uh, let's just put it this way: If your life is a living hell, then you might be a caregiver. :-) LOL W
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Baby, you fit the profile perfectly. ... As I've said earlier in this forum, there's no cookie-cutter formula for the endless roller-coaster ride that is caregiving. We do the best we can with what we have and hope for the best. Some rely on faith when running on fumes 24/7; others run screaming into the night or scream during sleep. Some fight back as their survival instincts start to kick in, others become anesthetized doormats. Some do it out of duty or obligation; while many others roll with the punches, go with the flow, and find a way to keep a semblance of their former selves. Some love what they do, others just fake it.

Anyway you look at it, I take my hat off to all the caregivers out there. ... Because that's as close as we'll ever get to sainthood.
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Hi hun. He is your husband, you care and you worry about his welfare. In my book, thats a caregiver. Hang in there hun..Will pray for you. Big Hug!!!!!
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You are a caregiver because you care about him and ultimately, you are the one who is in a position to advocate for him and have his best interests at heart. Hugs and prayers! Hang in there.
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I agree with everyone that you are a caregiver. I suspect that your question is of another sort though. Even without a legal question, you probably wonder if you qualify to the legal or technical definition of a caregiver. For instance, in NJ, if you are primary caregiver for two years, that person can deed their house to you without it being considered a gift, this is called the 'caregiver exemption'. There is a legal test there. Their definition asks if that person would need full time care without your help, then you are a caregiver. Technically, if you are not the one supervising the meds, you are not "the" caregiver. However, once they have a condition that REQUIRES they be hospitilzed, SOMEone needs to supervise their care. I BELIEVE THAT ROLE IS JUST IF NOT MORE IMPORTANT than the mechanical functional role of a nurse's aide. You ARE a caregiver. Just sometimes there are legal definitions to words too. Just my thoughts.
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You are a Caregiver if you worry about the person you love. You are a Caregiver if you don't sleep that much at night, because you are listening for the person you are taking care of. Caregivers are those who are the most selfless people in the world. We don't get told thank you, and truth be told; most people don't know what we go through on a regular basis. We are the ones who have the patience to take care of those we love. We never take breaks, and sometimes cry ourselves to sleep, because we are so exhausted. We are the ones, who no matter what; will drop everything to get to that person.
I have been a Caregiver since I was 19. I am now 32, and Caregiver to 2 parents. My siblings live 1500 miles away and won't help me. I moved with my parents, because I knew something might happen. I gave up a job I loved and took a $750 a month pay cut, please benefits.
Yes, you are a Caregiver, no matter what people say. You are amazing, and God Bless you for what you are doing.
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I'm sorry you are going through this. Do you think it would help to contact the local Alzheimer association and perhaps one of their support groups to help guide you through getting the best possible solutions. It helps to talk to others dealing with the same problems and they might have some local suggestions re treatment/doctors, facilities . do an internet search for these words if the link below is deleted
orange park florida alzheimer's association

http://www.alz.org/cnfl/in_my_community_support.asp
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I am guessing they are scaring you with the possibility that they might have to discharge him, or be unable to provide care for him. If this is what they are doing to you, they can, but they have to give you thirty days notice and then you can appeal. Or they are wanting him to go to a facility to have a psych eval. This is not as bad as you think.
If he is aggressive ask them to do an emergency psych.. eval. on him. They will put him into a psych. facility where specialist can see him. This will provide him with medications that most likely will curb this behavior and then he can be transferred back to the NH.
Please make it better on yourself. I know you don't want to have a loved one go through this, but it might take care of your problem. My aunt had a psych eval. and they could her medicine to smooth out her moods. This is basically what they want you to approve. It is really not a bad thing. If he is aggressive, he, like my Aunt might be striking out and hitting other residents or the nurses.
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I understand your concern and you are a caregiver. Don't let anyone tell you differently. He's lucky to have you to love and care and to be his advocate.

I also agree with "reindeermama " statement in the first paragraph. From my experience some facilities are not use to loving caring family members nor having someone stay on them about what is and is not right. You and your husband have legal rights and it should be in the contract signed.

I like to ask if your husband is in a nursing home or home care. I only ask this because my experience with nuring homes are not to my liking. To many clients and not enough help. Senior Home Cares, are able to give more attention to the client, because there are less clients to care for. My brother was in a facility and there were 21 clients to every 1 staff member. I had to be there everyday and I tell you I was not happy with the service or care he got.

I'm not sure what state you live in, but my sister once owner now manager of a Senior Home Care - cares for her clients as if they were family. They love her and she does everything for them and I mean everything. Even the caregivers she hires have to have the same quality of loving care. If you are in AZ, we be glad to give you information.
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Yes, you are a caregiver. Something that I found helpful is to search for "Caregiver Grief", as caregivers, we grieve with every change in our loved one. It helped me to realize that my feelings were ok. This forum is a lifesaver, I hope you find comfort here.
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