Follow
Share

My father has been attending Alzheimer's day programs to give my mother a much needed break. He has been grabbing other clients' breasts and now may be kicked out of the program. He has been rejected by a number of nice memory care programs and homes because of this behavior. We have tried some medications, but nothing seems to work.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
SIB (Sexally Inappropriate Behavior) is uncommon, only about 7% of dementia patients might exhibit it, but it's difficult to control. The place to start is by seeing a neurologist who works with dementia and see if some of the frequently used medications might work on your father. My FIL, who lives with us, has SIB and I am the one who must put up with his harassment. It's hard for me to cope with being leered at and him trying to kiss me all the time, so we have tried many medications and strategies.

Seroquel helped a bit, mostly by making him so sleepy he napped most of the day. He's gotten used to the drug now and doesn't sleep as much. Sedation is another avenue to consider. Our neurologist explained it as needing to "slow his brain down" from the excessive sexual thinking. Slowing down pretty much amounts to making him sleepy instead.

Persons with SIB cannot control their own impulses. They don't, they can't, see anything wrong with what they're doing. They may believe their target wants to be subjected to their attention. It's dementia and delusion, and all the lecturing and threats in the world won't change their behavior. Medication might help somewhat, but there's no guarantee.

We too worry about placing Dad in a facility, when that day comes. Just because he can't control his desire for "fun times" doesn't mean other people should be subjected to his acting out. At this point, though, he's become so immobile he's little threat. I hope you can find a way to treat your father. This is a very distressing behavior! You're clearly trying to give him the care he needs.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I'm sorry - when I say this is common with elderly men, I am getting my information from HomeHealthCare Nurses that are "hit on" all the time. One old man actually "dry humps" the nurses. Another brags about his exploits explicitly.

I would have edited my post but for some reason, today I am not getting the edit option.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

My MIL has had inappropriate behavior towards the men at her daycare facility. She will try to hold their hands and even kiss their hands at times. [She was also staring at her son [my husband] trying to get his attention. She would also try to touch and hug the men at church for longer than they were comfortable with.] At first, the staff was trying to keep her separate from the men so it was taking a lot of their time. Her neurologist also prescribed Seroquel but after reading about side effects, I decided to wait to use it. Believe it or not, the thing that finally worked was a stuffed animal. She can cuddle and love it all she wants. Whenever she heads for the men, the staff hands her the animal. So far, it's working. Not sure what to do when it stops.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Talk to his physician and maybe even the daycare program administrations could have some suggestions.

Sadly, this is actually very common with elderly men.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

We have been working with a Geriatrician re:meds. He is on Serequel and now Provera with limited success. I thought maybe there were some other meds that people had found effective. Thanks for your replies.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I didn't want to do the Serequol either but figured we had to try something. He is still very oriented to person and would think we were crazy if we handed him a stuffed animal. The behaviour is definitely dementia onset related - he was a real gentleman and would never had groped a women before this.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This unfortunately does happen quite often. A person I know who works in an elder facility told me that on many occasions they have found elderly men attempting to or actually having sex with other residents. Certain mental issues and medications can cause individuals to relax their inhibitions, and attempt to do things that they would never have done in the past.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Yes unfortunately, this is not uncommon with men. I took care of an elderly man who grabbed my breast, asked if I was good in bed, etc. He did not have dementia. I suppose I wasn't shocked since I grew up with three older brothers that were piggish and have had a lifetime of experiencing mens sexually inappropriate behavior! Unless this is something totally unlike him and he has never acted this way before, then it could be part of dementia.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes WizerOne. This is not the behaviour of my father pre Alzheimers. It's hard to figure out though which meds are helping curb his behaviour and which are making it worse. Surprising more information and research is not available on this problem.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

He's trying to relive his past. Take him to his doctor.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter