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My Mom has Alzheimer's and recently she has become very angry around my step son. He is special needs, He watches TV and sings, very pleasant to be around but when he makes any type of loud noise my mother becomes very upset. Recently the care giver has caught Mom stomping on his feet and the other day she picked up a candle and was going to hit him. I have no idea what to do.

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Aveeno, keep your stepson far away from your mother. She can no longer be trusted near children. It is your moral and ethical responsibility to protect a child, especially a special needs child. It may be hard to accept this, but you must accept this fact. I'm sorry you have to face this. Please do the right thing.
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Of course I would protect him in any way possible, I know my Mother would never hurt a child under normal conditions and I'm just shocked that this is happening. But we had one incident this weekend and then the feet stomping yesterday, just wondered if anyone has heard of something like this happening? I have discussed this with her and she gets a blank stare and then will tell me she does not remember doing it. She is finally admitting that she can't remember. I have Caregivers at the house while I'm gone and never leave them alone after I get home but I just need I guess for someone to let me know if they have ever gone through something like this and if it will continue or get worse or if its just one of those things that you will have to let time tell. I would hate to put Mom into a home but if this continues I will be forced and I know it will kill mom but also can't take a chance of Mom hurting him. This disease is just so terrible.
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Yes, it is so terrible. You sound very sensible and capable, but it is still so sad. My mom with Alzheimers can't even be left alone with my dad, her husband of 58 years, for a moment. If she gets frustrated with him she tries to push him and he is 90 and barely manages with a walker.
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Yes, mom has to be kept away from him. They can't reason anymore... people with alzheimer's can be very strong when agitated and angry. My mom is 92 and lately has been threatening to hurt me. She screams like I have never heard in my life. The whole thing is scary and sad.
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Thank you yogagirl, how do you deal with this? I love them both so much but right now I'm so freaked out over the last couple days that I actually thought about putting ber in a home but I don't want to do that.
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Aveeno, why isn't he in school? Special Ed services are available as young as 2 yrs old. It would be safer for him.
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Aveeno, how do I deal with it? Just like you, I get upset and then I calm down and search for solutions on this site and from their doctors.
The neurologist said they need to be in a nursing home if mom is interfering with dad's care. The geriatric psychiatrist said they can not be placed together because their needs are different and to keep them home for now. Dad has Parkinson's and is on a feeding tube and she needs memory care.
My sister and I visited a facility close by to have a back up plan in place.
The Dr started mom on Trazodone which seems to calm her a bit and she is behaving better this month. Now dad is sundowning.
We have a CNA from an agency with them 24/7.
This is very challenging and the rest of the world's problems don't stop just because we are caregiving.
Just when you catch your breath, Boom!
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Pamstegma - My step son is 23 and already gone to school and aged out of the work program, my husband is a pilot and gone most of the time and when he is home my Step Son works with him at his business. Its not likely that we can find him a job he has seizures and no one seems to want to take that on, I'm guessing liability.
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Aveeno, if he is 23 and disabled, VESID could find him a job under a VESID contract, even with seizures. VESID is a federal program.
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Really? We have a case worker working on it for him, I will let my husband know about this agency. Thank you very much.
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The Texas agency is DARS (department of assistive and rehabilitative services) at dars.state.tx.us
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He has been signed up with DARS for a few years now and had no luck. Thanks again for the help he is a very hard worker and loves to do repetitive work, everyone just loves to be around him but I believe the seizures are going to be the big hurdle. While in the work program he worked at a paper shredding plant, they liked him so much the extended him to work a year longer than he should have but they want us to pay them for him to come work there, I find that odd.
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Aveeno, can the seizures be controlled with medication?

Sometimes you really have to research and make a lot of contacts to find some assistance; I think there's still an attitude that people with special needs don't fit into a traditional workforce or that it's too difficult to accommodate them.
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No, he has been through 23 years of trying to control them, he takes 3 pills in the morning and 9 at night and he still has them about every 2 weeks. They even tried to run testing to see if it came from one area of the brain so they could go in and remove the spot. I knew someone that this was successful with. We will keep trying but for now its all we have been able to do.
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Aveeno, my sister is epileptic. We had to remove all caffeine from her diet and control salt intake. As for the meds, we give them in a specific order, seizure meds first and behavior meds an hour later. vitamins at lunch time. Evening meds--we give exactly 12 hours after morning meds. Again, seizure meds always first. We use extended release meds wherever possible. And we avoid Claritin, it set off her seizures; your son may have other triggers.
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What kind of doctor does she go to? He is my step son and I have known him for 5 years, just would like to see if his parents are aware of any of this. The only thing I have come to realize is that excitement will trigger a secziour I guess him being 19 when I met him I have just assumed that they have tried everything. I know they have been through several doctors and all have said the same that they have tried everything.
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The doctors did not figure this out. I did by researching "seizure triggers" and drug interactions. The MD agreed and wrote an order for "no caffeine" when the house staff kept allowing her to buy colas and ice tea. Other triggers for her included: getting into a hot vehicle, bright sunshine, and flashing lights on emergency vehicles. She goes to a Neurology clinic in Amherst NY.
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Thank you so much for the advice, I'm going to start researching these things, I would love to be able to stop his secziors that would be a dream come true.
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