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He's in a well known facility in Mass.

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I agree. If he is difficult to handle, even with assistance, then I can understand why the facility would be concerned. I would seriously reconsider taking him out in the public. Think of what could happen. In certain stages, dementia patients don't do well in crowds or strange places. They can get frightened, confused and anxious. I would explore ways to spend time with him doing something that he would enjoy, like looking at old photos, listening to music or having a treat you brought from home. I bet the staff would be able to offer you more ideas.
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OK so this is a safety issue, for you, for him and for staff and other residents. Since you live in NY, it is also an issue of leaving MA. In the past you could not handle him even with two aides. You may think taking him out will make him happy. It's quite the opposite for dementia patients, they panic in unfamiliar places, in a crowd or at a restaurant and act out their fear with aggression. Better you enjoy his company in a safe place.
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When I said 'off the unit' I meant they don't want us to take him out of the unit like for a ride or using the facilities such as a gym or just walking him inside the facility.
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For those writers not familiar with Betsy's background, here is a posting from almost a year ago. https://www.agingcare.com/questions/memory-care-places-wont-take-husband-184631.htm

Betsy, please verify where you plan to take your husband? Do you mean off the unit as in taking hubby out for a couple of hours? In a post about a year ago, you had 2 Aides at home to help you with him.
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Are you asking about taking your husband off the unit for a visit, say in a visiting room or on the grounds OR are you wanting to move him home, to another facility or another part of the facility where he is?

Your previous posts seemed to indicate that your husband desperately needed Memory Care. Has something changed? Why would you want to move him now?

If you are wanting to visit with him, then I would think they would have a place to visit with him on the unit. Most Memory Care facilities have a space for this, if you don't want to visit in his room. Have you asked about that?

Are you wanting to take him out of the unit for the day or overnight? If they are discouraging this, then I might ask their reasons. Your previous posts say that he has had multiple strokes and has aphasia. Do his medical issues make it difficult for him to travel? Can you handle him at home?

I would also read a lot about taking dementia patients out of their environment. I discovered that when I removed my cousin from her unit for a short visit, she became disoriented and confused when I took her back in. She grew anxious and it took me a little while to orient her as to where she was. For that reason, I won't take her out again. She's at a stage where she does not adapt well to change.

I would discuss my concerns with the staff of the Memory Care unit where he is and get their input. Certainly, they can work with you to resolve it.
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Does the contract that was signed when your husband went in say anything about taking someone off the unit? Since it's a memory care facility I would imagine the facility is worried about liability if your husband should wander off while away from the unit.
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I am new and have not seen your questions before...but I also would ask...what is your reason for wanting to move him?
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You have asked similar questions in the past...have you utilized any of the other responses? In the past you have said that your husband suffers with aphasia, and with aggressiveness, two symptoms that are very difficult to find placemetn for. You have found a place that can handle his needs (finally) and now you want to move him? Why in the world would you want to move him? Has something changed?

Angel
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