Twenty-one years ago I divorced my husband due to alcohol and drug addictions. He put me through hell for 23 years. Became homeless and was not present to help raise our children. No child support for years. To make it worse our daughter had a C-5 Spinal Cord accident at 13 years old leaving her an incomplete quadriplegic. Many hospitals and rehab centers added to my financial strain being on a high school teacher salary.
Less than a year ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's due to his addictions. After running off 2 other women in his life due to the same addictions, he needs help taking care of himself. I don't want to do it, my son helps as much as possible but the load ends up on my daughter (the quadriplegic).
I'm involved more than I wanted but I have to help my daughter out. She needs help taking care of herself, so I take the high road and assist. We have moved him 3 times to get closer to my daughter so it is easier on her but he pulls the same old tricks of drinking even with Alz diagnosis. He is currently living in an Independent Center but his funds are running very low and it won't work for long. Appears a regular apartment is available closer to my daughter so she won't be travelling so much and his neurologist suggested let him be as independent as possible. He calls, and calls and calls all of us saying he is bored. He wants to do things alone like going to football games, ride his bike, etc. We have convinced him to let his car go so he doesn't have travel access when he wants it. Truth is, he has run everyone off and we are involved because unfortunately, he is family. He is even under probation from drinking over a year ago right now. My daughter is just worn out, if my son takes over he will not be as nurturing as my daughter and I don't blame him.
We are at a loss where to put him so he is involved as much as possible with life as long as he can be and afford it. In about 4 years he will have been through his money and will qualify for Medicaid. My children are horrified he will go to a state home but I don't have a problem with him being there.
We also understand the worst of symptoms are coming. My 58-year-old sister died of Dementia 2 years ago and an Aunt died of Alzheimer in 2009. We know this is a horrible disease.