My 88 yr old mom has been in a nursing home for almost two years. Frequent falls, broken bones, severe loss of vision, etc... She constantly nags me to bring her home, she can no longer stand alone, walk at all or transfer alone. She refuses to walk, but when you ask her, she says they don't have time to walk her. I wheel her up to the nurses' station and ask, then she says "well my knees hurt, I didn't want so and so to walk me, don't trust them" and the list goes on. She insists she would be able to do everything for herself at home, "that place" is making her like she is.
She was diagnosed with dementia in November. She has hallucinations, which are almost daily now, actually ongoing. They always suspect a UTI, which was the case when she had her previous doctor, because he never did cultures, etc... I changed her doctor to a wonderful internist who comes to the home and so does his NP. They have done pharmacology consults, have done tests and have her medicine totally inline, finally.
The hallucinations are becoming a huge issue. I have had to tell the supervisor that the staff shouldn't be dialing the phone for her at 11:30 pm, 5 am, etc... She wants to talk to me because she is upset about something she thinks happened.
I don't know whether to agree or not with her. I do tell her I can't see the things she sees, she will tell me to go get a pair of sandals on the wall in size 9. I try to tell her that her brain is confused and sending images to her eyes. She has very little sight left. She doesn't seem as bad when I see her in person, but yesterday's call was asking if my son, the little boys and the birds were home. She said they had been to see her and she was concerned the birds were flying around the house. I told her my son hadn't been there that day and of course, she gets angry.I try to calm her down and then she cries and tells me she isn't right, that place is making her crazy.
She is on Remeron for depression and anxiety, she has always been a nervous high strung person. I know she is in the best place, safe and well cared for. She is so dependent on me, because we had lived together since my dad passed away. I have cut back on my visits, thinking she would depend on the staff more.
How do you react when they have such vivid hallucinations. Mom's used to the be same, she still has the same ones, but now she has even more. I assure her my son and I are safe and fine at home. This is progressing so fast. We are going to talk to the doctor about any kind of medicine we can give her to make this easier on her. I don't want her medicated just so she is easier to deal with, I want something to make it easier on her.
This is a horrible thing for her to go through and for us sitting watching her go through it.