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My relative has dementia and currently has 24 hour care in the home. For a number of reasons I believe it is getting near the time to move her to a dementia care unit and would like that to be near relatives all of which are 3000 miles away. She, naturally does not want to move, believes she should be driving, and thinks she does not need in home care, even thought sometimes she does not even recognize that she is in her own home. I am frightened of the idea of attempting to get her on a plane, as she does not want to move, needs to use the bathroom frequently, and can be a scene maker. Is there an agency which could fly with her, with perhaps nursing care, medications, etc.? Yes it is likely expensive, but are there such agencies?

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Alltaken, your loved one's needs would probably be better served by your hiring a geriatric care manager, to manage her care, keep you informed and manage emergencies like hospitalizations. They can also manage a move to a dementia unit close to where she currently lives. Moving her sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Has she been evaluated by a psychiatrist who deals frequently with Dementia? She sounds as though in general she might benefit from meds for agitation.
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Whose needs is this proposed move meeting? Her's or the relatives who live 3,000 miles away?

It is very disturbing to move someone with dementia. They often go further downhill.

What is your relationship with this relative? Are you her medical POA?
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I have a great place, but don't see her agreeing to move. I could tell her we are visiting her sister, which would be true, just not with a return trip. I fear flying commercial as I don't know if she might be "trouble" and she has frequent bathroom trips and not sure how I would handle that. Catheters????? Could I hire a nurse? It is a problem.
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Oooh, one hurdle at a time. First of all you have to convince her that she needs to move. Then you have to find accommodations for her. Then you or someone she knows need to go get her and fly back with her. If strangers take her, she may feel like she is being abducted and get frightened. Ask her doctor to give her a sedative that can help her on the trip.

I don't envy you the task of taking care of someone with dementia from so far away. It can be challenging even when they are in the same town. Good luck!
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