After the loss of your spouse. Any suggestions to help with this loss?

Your grief is a testimony to your love for your husband, your tribute to him. Some say the passing of time will heal your grief. Phrases like “Give it time”, and “Time heals all”, “Just hang in there”, are offered as a panacea for grief. I suppose in some sense that may be true, if you want to endure the pain of grief forever. Grief can be overwhelming, as it was for me when I lost my wife three and a half years ago. You still have a life to live. It won't be the same life, it will be a new life, a new self. Your life still has meaning and purpose. You will overcome your grief if you choose to, but it requires not only time, but work. Grief does end, and you'll know it when you've worked your way thru it, because you will have accepted your husband's death and be living a fruitful, enjoyable life. Certainly there'll be sad moments, still are for me, but they'll be nothing like the grief you suffered. Eventually you will say you're done grieving.

So for now, accept your grief, cry all you want, and realize you will make it thru this. Be grateful for 31 years of marriage, reminisce, recall the good times with a smile.

Purchase a copy of “Getting to the Other Side of Grief, Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse”.

I lost my LO on July 6th. I can tell you that it hurts, and hurts, and hurts. Initially thought that I needed counseling to help me with the lost of my LO. However, every psychologist I contacted, except one, did not return my call. The one that did, did not accept Medicare coverage and referred me to a social worker. I am now treating myself. I am now reading a book about how to live and die well, entitled With the End in Mind, by Kathryn Mannix. I take each day one at a time, and I have some long term ideas. There are also daily things and unexpected problems to take care that occur, that help distract you from the grief. It hurts more in the morning for me because my LO required most care during that time. I reminiscent about how my LO loved me and how my LO looked at me with love during the last days. A few times I looked around when I woke up because I expected my LO to be there, but that was not so.

It hurts…….

So sorry for your loss. I have not lost a Spouse so really can't tell you how to recover from a loss like this. One friend it was 2 yrs before she felt she could move on. Another, a year.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

May The Lord God Almighty give your grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this difficult time.

TIME
Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve your loss.
As a caregiver for my Husband who had dementia every day was a loss. So you begin the grief process from the first day the doctor says that your sweetheart has dementia.
You get through day by day. And every day there are reminders of what you are loosing. One of the things that is unexpected is the loss of people who you thought were friends.
So you think you are prepared. You think you have cried as much as you can. Even though he was still there you are, what a friend in my Support Group calls, a Married Widow.
But nothing prepares you for the day, the moment he stops breathing. Your heart stops as well. It is as if someone ripped your heart from your chest. And you cry more. Let yourself cry.
I have this posted next to my computer:
I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you..........
And then I realized you spent the rest of your life with me.........
I also have this:
Grief never ends, But it changes.
It is a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of Faith.
It is the price of LOVE
I am sorry for your loss, you can rest well you cared for him during a difficult journey.
((HUGS))

I am sorry for your loss. I have not been down that road yet, so I have no words of advice; just wanted to say I am sorry.
The advice that was posted sounds helpful, and hopefully you will find some comfort in it.

I lost my husband of 26 years last September, after being his caregiver for many years. That was almost 11 months ago, and I am now just starting to feel more like myself, so please give yourself time. It's only been a couple of days.
I remember for at least the first several months after my husband died I kind of just wandered around the house wondering what it was that I was supposed to be doing, as most of my day had been taken up with his care.
Allow yourself plenty of time to grieve the man you loved. I was getting teary eyed this morning thinking about my husband, and I don't try to stop it or hide it, as I miss him every day.
But life does go on, and we are still meant to make the most of whatever time we have left here on earth. Spend time with family and friends, and with God, and if need be, check out the Grief Share Support Groups in your area, as they can be very helpful as well. And if your husband was under hospice care at the end, they also offer grief counseling.
I have found that the book Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore is helpful as well, as it is a day at a time devotion. And that is how we have to go through our loss and our grief and that is one day at a time.
I am so sorry for your loss, and hope and pray that you will now take the time to take care of yourself. God bless you.