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Before i get the answer to quit. Could I ask a question and get a really good way to reply. I am a caregiver to a 65 year old early adult alzheimer woman. The 30 year old daughter after being their for 1 year and 9 months, and an outstanding performance review purchased a nanny cam, and told me that I owed her 14 minutes of time, because I have written 12:32 and showed up at 12:37. Also one time, I showed up at 1:04 and put 1:00. She stated that for the past six months I owe her 32 minutes. I know all of you are going to say is quit. That is my plan, but I did state to her that the word "creepy" came to my mind, that after one year and 9 months you do this. That tells me you do not trust me. She went on and on about her severe depression, and you know what,,,,, this girl (30) is very very scary to me, and she did state that Debbie I know without a doubt that you are the only person that can love my mother the way she needs to be loved. She is right, I mentioned to her "don't you think you need to be a bit more realistic, isn't love far more than the minutes.

You are right everyone, there has to be more than that to the story. I have given, given, and given and I feel as if now, I am being used. I only charge her 1/2 for mileage, and this is a 30 year old bully in my opinion, that found me. A 54 year old softie for a woman, and has used be above and beyond, and she did lie about what she did when I first met, she stated she was an attorney. She is a receptionist. So . . .besides the fact that yes, I am looking for a new job, which when you put your heart and soul into one person and this by god is not her mom's fault, so of course I never take her daughter's issues out on her, but I am afraid for her. I have two other part time jobs, and really wanted this to work, but I don't see how. I gave her mother 6 hours of my time, and you know what. Now that I have done that the daughter is going to try and get away with it time and time again. To me I say shame on me for being so gullible to a 30 year old, who at first needed me, and now that I have given her hundreds of ideas and free classes, etc, and told her exactly where to giver her mother the ultimate life, now she purchases a nanny cam and lessens my hours and her mother just sits all day long and watches golden girls. Advice really wanted . . . (constructive) please. thank you fellow care givers.

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Kaydeb you have my synpathies and the temptation to quit under these circumstances the temptations are great. As others have said give your employer what she is entitled to and demand your due. Two can play at that game.
This young woman clearly has major personal problems and the responsibility for her mother. Maybe her job is at risk or she is worried about money. She can't be a pleasant personality to employ for a receptionist. If you like your patient and the job suites you find some compassion and cut the young woman some slack. There may be problems with other caregivers so she is generally paranoid. by all means move on but be careful not to jump out of the frying pan into the fire.
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She is a small person who is likely micromanaged at her job as well. "Pay" her back her 14 minutes, be precise in recording time and do not "give" away any time or other payment to which you are entitled.
Likely in her Rome send at her age she had never had anyone work give her.
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I don't blame you for wanting to find a different job. And maybe that is the best answer.

But it is a shame for the Mother to lose out because she has a bully for a daughter. And perhaps the daughter is suffering from a mental illness herself. Since you otherwise like the job, maybe you can just put up with the bully. If she pays you on time and doesn't interfere unreasonably in your care of her mother, perhaps you could mentally roll your eyes and keep the peace.

Many people punch time clocks for their jobs. Many people work for bosses who are a little creepy. No job is ideal. Sort out the pros and cons of this particular job, and make a non-emotional evaluation of whether you should stay or move on. Does the satisfaction you get enhancing the mother's quality of life outweigh the aggravation of dealing with her daughter? Only you can decide that.
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I am not a professional, but what I would do in this case is give her the 14 minutes and keep working. You'll now know you're being watched, so will have to cross all your t's and dot all your i's. That is okay, really. Most of us have to put up with it in the rest of the world, too. There may come a time soon when the mother will have to be placed. Until then you'll at least have a secure paycheck.

Some people are just strange and looking for nits to pick. It can be best to just work with them and make sure there are nits you can prevent. Much luck!
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