Actually got Mom to visit some Independent/Assisted living places this week. We've seen four, and while she's still not really wanting to move, I had to really work on my poker face when one of the complaints was all the "old people" here. She's 89, so not exactly young, but doesnt use a walker or cane, which seems to bother her when she sees residents moving around with one. Also really worried about diseases.
Anyway, the main reason she needs to move out of her home ( living alone in a house 200 miles away from me in a small town) is her mixed dementia diagnosis (vascular/Alzheimer's). Now in the moment, she's ok. She can get herself dressed, she can bathe herself, she can eat by herself. She knows her family and friends when she sees them.
But she has been told no more driving (both by doctor and a driving evaluation). She gets overwhelmed by tasks that require multiple steps, I had to help her fill out some Christmas cards for 4 grandkids, and it was something that took a hour to do. I've taken over bill paying, because bill's were past due,because she would get them, and set them down, and sometimes things would get placed on top and then the bill was forgotten.
She was hospitalized this fall, due to low blood count and iron, which after ruling everything else out was probably due to her not eating well or forgetting to eat, she will snack on junk food, but not cook anymore, and maybe not taking meds correctly.
She can't remember how to operate the microwave, I've had to hand hold her over the phone to operate washing machine. Sometimes even the TV remote is problematic
She can operate her cell phone, but just barely.
Sometimes she gets confused as to names of people and things especially when tired. Had to remind her today what city she's in.
What she needs is someone to bring her her medications
Someone to check on her in the morning. Sometimes so confused when she wakes up, " I dont know what I'm doing". Maybe to tell her, hey get dressed and come eat, here's what's happening today.
Meals readily available, with her favorite snacks and drinks available in her room, maybe someone to notice if she is not coming to meal times
Light housekeeping, someone to help with laundry
Interaction with more people than mostly me
I intend to be present multiple days a week, and as long as she physically and mentally able to take her with me to activities like plays or grand kid events, family dinner, church. But I need time for me too, to workout, read, take a vacation,. I have adult kids that will visit also.
I keep hearing she needs to need help with 2 or more ADLs to qualify for assisted living, would the above qualify?
She doesnt need memory unit yet, but its probably only a matter of time, significant changes over the last year.
I have med and financial POA, with the dementia diagnosis, would I have to sign lease agreements?
Also what is a reasonable community fee prior to move in ? We've been quoted any where from 1500 to equal one month rent.