What can my 93-year-old mother do for activities when she is suffering from dementia, macular degeneration, hearing loss, and not much coordination?

shes 93 yrs old , shes lived a long life . she s tired and worn out . just leave her alone .
my dad is 87 yrs old and he sleeps alot , i would say hey dad raise ur leg up , we re going to excerise , he just stares at me and said no im too tired ,
all i can do for him is to hold his hand or sit with him and watch tv , talk to him . sit at the kitchen table to be with him .
theyre like babies all over again . all you can do is to give them love and give them the best care you can .
while he s napping , i go do my housework or im on here . when hes awake i go and hang out with good ole dad .
getting up to go bathroom wears my dad out . wears me out too .
theyre just tired and worn out ....

Thanks Linda:) she never naps. The caregivers and I do sit with her for hours. If you get up to go to the bathroom, fix her lunch, vacuum, whatever: she can't stand it. Doesn't want to be left alone for a minute. Can't be with her own thoughts.
You are a Saint, one of God's Angels on earth, and I mean it.
Love, christina

Hi, highrider! Yes, the nursery rhymes and song lyrics we can do!! She and I are both vocalists, and we can find a song lyric for just about any situation, and then laugh! This cannot go on all day long, however, and every day. haha The caregivers take her to the library once a month, and get books about animals, chicken soup for the soul collections, and I have a lot of books from when my kids were small, but those are not always interesting to her, or appropriate. Now that she is on a new med so she is not so impatient, jumpy, and needy, finding a balance and things to occupy her is a bit easier! Thank you so much for your ideas! Also--she hates to get anything on her HANDS!!! Freak out!! :D Christina xo

Can she follow a story or article? I understand that the Library of Congress has a very simple-to-operate audio player and not only books but magazines and newspapers recorded for it. Could she follow shorter stories and articles? Would having it play loudly without a headset drive the rest of you crazy? There is no cost to use this.

Have you looked at "fidget" toys and tactile toys designed for those with dementia? The Alzheimer's Store is one source, or do a Google search. They're just things to occupy the hands or give some comfort. But they might offer some diversion.

Could she fold washclothes? We use washclothes as single-use hand towels, so we have 3 to 5 laundry loads of them per week. My husband (dementia, 85) has the job of folding them. He holds a shallow box on his lap and smooths a "towel" out, folds it in quarters, and puts it in a pile. If he is having a good day he also moves them from the stacks into the baskets we place on the bathroom vanity, but often I do that part. I understand that a repetitive action, and a textured surface (like terry cloth), and different colors, can all be appealing. It also gives him the feeling of making a contribution -- which it in fact does!

And also I'd consider Linda's attitude. I don't think Mother needs to be busy all the time. Sitting quietly together is OK, too.

If she doesn't want to be left alone, and surely sometimes it is necessary to leave her alone, I wonder if the technique for leaving young children in a hospital would apply? "Mommy has to go talk to the doctors and nurses now. While I'm gone I want you to hold this pretty scarf of mine. When I come back I'll put it around my neck again." Would it comfort your mother to have something of yours to hold while you are not with her?

You are doing a labor of love, Christina, and I hope you are experiencing many rewarding moments.

Hello again! First, hd, thank you for your suggestions! When I first asked this question 6 months ago, we were struggling with finding a med to keep Mother still. She was literally jumping up every 30 seconds from the sofa with nowhere to go, did not know what she wanted, crying, and terrified of "being alone." She has been taken care of all her life, is a narcissist, and now has dementia and pretty much helpless in all regards. If I gave her a towel, she would ask, "what is it? I can't see it." Finally, after months of taking her to a psychiatrist, he put her on a new med last week. and she is the best she has ever been-- I mean as far back as I can remember. At 94, better late than never, I suppose. As for sensory therapy: I am a cosmetologist, sold cosmetics for years, have studied massage and reflexology. EVERY morning, she gets a facial, and hand and arm massage to her favorite music. I cut her hair, give her a professional manicure and pedicure every 2 weeks. She is absolutely spoiled and appreciates it, but nothing is ever enough to make her happy. She wants everything done FOR her, and never considers anyone else. But I'm OK with that; as long as she is calm and not so needy, we can live with it. Thank you, everyone, for your ideas and thoughtfulness:) christina

My Mom suffers from the sam symptoms. She gets very aggitated if anyone, including me, tries to get her into any type of activity. She feels I think she is stupid.I am not sre how to handle it but I try to bring up old memories and the anger seems to go away.

My Mom Macular Dengeneration. I remember crying when I went with her to the doctor because I did not know how bad it was. The books on tape are great. The new machines allow you to take the machine with you. We listen to them together. My Mom has loved Debbie Maccommber books. It is free in Louisiana. Although, she still plays bridge she cannot see that cards well. She just enjoys getting out and she is exercising her mind.

I've worked with dementia patients, in their homes as well as in Nursing Homes, I have found that it's not a one size fits all.. For some engaging in conversation is the most activity you will get, while others are busy body's. You have to get into their world, see if you can figure out what that is at the moment and get in there with them. I have found for some with anxiety that a heavy blanket can calm them, soft music, lava lamps, rub lotion on them. Massage their hands,feet, and back. Some enjoy having the newspaper read to them, or bible scriptures. Alot of men enjoy nuts and bolts, while some women want to balance the check book. I hope your mother, yourself, and the caregivers are all well, and have found something that she enjoys. Best wishes to you all.

Ive been caring for my mum who has alzheimers and is almost blind due to macular degeneration. She is nearly 80 and is constantly going back and forward to the toilet sometimes every 2 minutes for hours. even when i tell her she has just been to the toilet. any suggestions. some days it annoys the hell out of me and other days i just let her keep on going. She doesnt actually do any thing just sits there with her pants on. Jane

As a caregiver of someone with MD I was trying to come up with ideas as well, I began by gathering items around the house, small items such as a hair clip or an eraser or a tube of lipstick, things with a very distinctive shape. Then I had her take one item at a time and guess what they were based on feel. She really enjoys it and it's a great cognitive/tactile activity. I change the items for new ones every time. Some of them are easy for her others it takes her some time.