My mother has always been arrogant, demanding, controlling, whether it be at her house, at mine or at any of my siblings' although she has a good side too.
My father has always been evil, greedy, jealous and absent and does things to torture us.
My youngest sister passed six months ago and this nightmare has taken their souls. They are now totally dependent on us.
At this moment, theyr'e at my brother's. My older sister is there too and my father is making her life miserable. He accuses her of having contributed to my sister's death (she died of cancer at 47) and tells her she's a witch and must die.
He takes off and makes everybody go search for him.
They're both coming to live here (I live in their property) in one month. I have a full time job.
My Mother has ruined my health, emotions, relationships, and now I am no longer the nice good Christian woman I was 8yrs ago and I let her.. I feel so rotten inside that I just cannot function emotionally. I never said "bad" word until I lived with my Mother for 8yrs. This yr 2015 has been so tough on me. I haven't been posting anything because it is so unbelievable what she does and I a drained out. IN OTHER WORDS, DO NOT LIVE WITH THEM, DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THEM! Best of everything to you.
Find your own place to live. Only answer phone calls once a day and say " sorry, have to go now" if they become abusive.
Why on earth would you want to learn to put up with this behavior? You had to as a child, of course, but as an adult? Why?
No one should HAVE to put up with this kind of treatment. Beyond being insulting, degrading and dehumanizing, it's controlling and manipulating of a very serious and unhealthy nature.
Putting it bluntly, I suspect that your siblings have been manipulated and controlled by your parents for years. You'll need to break your parents' hold over you to retain your freedom.
I wouldn't normally recommend seeing a professional, a therapist or a psychologist, but I think it might help to understand the family dynamics, and why your parents might have behaved like this toward their children. It also might help to explore if they can change, if they even want to, or whether this is going to be their behavior for the rest of their lives.
I think you and your siblings need to stand up to the bullies and just flatly refuse to accommodate them any more.
But for your own health find another place to live ASAP. I think you and your sister would qualify as emotionally battered women.
Your being in their home only enhances their ability to treat you abusively since that's their nature and you're dependent on them.
Another factor is whether or not you have children. If you do, you have an obligation to them to remove them from an abusive situation and protect them so they don't grow up believing that verbal abuse and threats are normal. If you don't, you could find yourself losing your children if Children's Protective Services intervenes and justifiably removes children from your custody.
There's another element to your father's behavior which makes me suspect he has a mental illness. You wrote that he calls your sister a witch and says she must die. I call that an immediate threat to life and limb, worthy of involving the police.
"Taking off" and making people search for him is another manipulative tactic but combined with the witch accusation makes me wonder if he has dementia or a mental illness, perhaps both.
Find somewhere else to live, go to a friends or other family until you find a place or stay in a hotel if you have to temporarily. IF you have to be there, still pursue finding somewhere else so you can withstand the fire knowing there's an escape in the near future. I'm not one to be so fatalistic sounding, but if both of your parents are like this on a regular basis, you will suffer....and perhaps irreparably. All the best and let us know.
I've been thinking about finding a place to live. But even when I do, my mother will be constantly calling me and making accusations if I don't give them what she expects me to. You're right. I have to make a quick decision.
Read up on some of the wisdom on this site......Detach with love......boundaries...RUN!