A lot of women on this forum are taking care of spouses with Alzheimer's. When the behavior becomes intolerable, do they consider divorce?

A lot of answers here were based off of the OP question. There was no personal information provided with the question, just a question.
A lot of responses came where people shared their own journey.
Some responses were based of of the question itself and directed at no one in particular.
However, it seems that those who do not agree with another's opinion is deemed judgmental.
When in fact it was a matter of what would you do in this case, sort of thing.
This forum is about sharing of ideas and each ones journey if they want to share. Everyone does not have to agree. But it always seems if someone gives their own opinion and the majority do not like it, then they get attacked and are told not to judge, when in fact no judgement has been placed except by those who oppose someones opinion.
One may think it is okay to leave a loved one if they change or become different and that person has their right to believe that and act upon it. And one may believe under no circumstance is it ok to do such a thing, and they have a right to believe that. But no one has judged anyone here and should not be accused of such because they state their views on the subject.matter.

Demstress, while it's extremely difficult for one to care for an ill spouse, i think it would be better to place the person in a nursing home.

Divorcing might make them free, but they might feel guilty leaving an ill person like that. Putting spouse in a nursing home though, would benefit both of them.

It's most unpleasant (putting it mildly) to be tossed to the curb when you no longer serve your spouse's needs and when you, yourself aren't even ill and you have a 3 year old child. You soon become ill as you have no idea what you and your 3 year old will do. The individual I speak of is Llamalover47.

I have not had an easy life, and I learned many things too late but now I am much wiser. There are several issues one needs to think about. First of all, is the condition of the patient causing a great deal of negativity for you, your family, your lifestyle, etc. Are they mean, abusive, impossible to handle with all of the related problems? How are you holding up? Do you want to take care of them or are you so stressed out you can't take it any longer? What are the financial situations? You must face something - you may love the patient but they are not and never again will be what you once loved - they are, in essence, gone. No one can make these decisions for you. But, I offer this advice. If the care is doing you great harm physically, mentally, emotionally - then it will eventually destroy YOU and in order for this not to happen, you must consider putting them somewhere so you can lead a normal life. You should not feel guilt because YOU want to live, and you deserve to live. Get help from agencies and the professionals who have experience in these matters and get all the information you can gather. Then make your decision and don't let others influence you - you are trying to save your life while you still have it. Don't allow anyone to destroy you. At this point, you come first. You are not doing anything wrong.

Most women take care of their husbands, even into their 90's. Most men divorce the sick wife though and marry a younger woman. Just the facts.

I think it is important to talk to an elder care attorney. Our advice was to not get divorced and somehow she will be able to save enough of our assets that I should be ok too. I do not know how this is possible. This decision about placement has nothing to do with the love within a marriage it has to do with the best way to proceed for both people in the marriage. You can still be faithful to a marriage when one person is in residential care.