Mom is 98 and won't keep still. While watching TV she keeps on standing up, adjusting her clothes and sitting down again. Can't go shopping and leave her alone as she gets up and walks around the house. If I'm cooking in the kitchen, or in the bathroom she'll come looking for me. Scared of her falling. Her balance is not the best. I have even put her in bed and surrounded the bed with high back chairs that I felt it hard to move but when I came home from shopping she was sitting in the lounge. She won't tell me how she got out. Having to stay home because of lockdown she is also extremely bored. Poor eyesight so can't watch TV like she used to. I am her full time caregiver and there is no help available. Have no family and so called friends don't help. Nobody has contacted her since Feb 2020 since our 1st lockdown. Live in South Africa and no outside help available unless you are willing to pay heavily for. Any suggestions on how to keep her safe when I go shopping?

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When I was taking care of my mother alone in the past I took my mother with me when I went grocery shopping. The grocery store had a shopping cart with a seat attached. Check into grocery/ food delivery service if available in your area or hire a sitter for a few hours. Side rails at night, bed/chair alarm or nanny camera might be an option. My mom has a hospital bed with raised side rails attached. I would never leave your mother alone.Good luck.
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how about a hospital bed with rails?
I'd suggest talking to her dr about anxiety meds, but our grandmother was prescribed some and just one pill knocked her out for 24 hours, which was equally unsafe.
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bundleofjoy Mar 2021
hug catbird and gary!

how difficult it is to care for our elderly loved ones. courage and strength!

hospital bed with rails might work -- but i must say, some elderly people have discovered how to get out through the opening close to the feet. maybe you can close that opening, so there really is no way to get out.

if your mother can't remember that she must not stand up from seated position, it's hard. you could tie her down, temporarily. but i suppose you don't want to. she can't/mustn't lie in bed all day either.

is there any way to speak to her very strongly, that she must not stand up? i'm sure you've tried many times.

i hope you find good solutions/suggestions!!

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Bed rails can be problematic for escape artists because they will do whatever it takes to get over, around and through them and can end up with dreadful injuries, that's why they have been banned in North America except under special circumstances.
Get your mom a walker or rollator to use around the house, if possible create a safe area where she can walk off some steam. Talking/audio books can be a good way to pass time, or listening to music.
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There is no way to keep her safe when you're not in the home. Hire caregivers to come in to sit with her while you are away; everyone is in the same boat, too, with prices being high for decent help. And family & friends have no interest whatsoever in helping out with elders and their needs! My mother is lucky to get an occasional phone call, if that!

Either take your mother with you when you go grocery shopping, hire someone to come in to sit with her while you're gone, or order groceries online for delivery. Falls are going to happen sooner or later no matter WHAT you do, I'm afraid, and can even happen while you're AT home! You may want to purchase foam mats to place around her bed instead of high back chairs, which can create a bigger danger than they would cure, in my opinion. Foam mats are what's used in nursing homes & rehabs for elders who present a fall risk while in bed. You can also get her a walker and see if she'd use it to help stabilize her and give her a bit more balance while walking.

Good luck!
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Bundle, please never give advice to tie down an elder or anyone for that matter. That is a restraint, against the law, and considered elder abuse.
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bundleofjoy Mar 2021
:) hi earlybird,

i understand. as you know, we’re trying to think of ideas. it’s hard to think of an idea that really works. maybe staying in bed temporarily, is a good idea.

i myself, if i were elderly, and my loved one tied me down for a short while, while they go grocery shopping, wouldn’t mind. my younger-self would have agreed, even been grateful.

i do understand some ideas are not exactly the best ideas. sometimes it’s worth brainstorming anyway: from a 1/3 good idea, an even better idea might come.
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There is nothing that will keep your mom safe. She is not able to be left alone.

There are several delivery services available today.

Otherwise, hire a caregiver for you to shop.

Be very careful. Do you hear your mom at all times?

A while back my mom started wandering in the middle of the night.

She was trying to open the front door of the house.

My brother tried to place barricades and she somehow got through them with her walker.

Now she is bed bound with end stage Parkinson’s disease. She does take meds to help her relax.

Have you spoken to her doctor about her constant motion?

Ask her doctor if he feels that she could take meds to help calm her.
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