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If you're POA, you must know the state of her finances, right? Can she afford to pay for another person? I'm concerned that (1) this person is taking financial advantage of your sister and (2) your sister will run out of money and won't be able to afford her AL and memory care in the future if she takes on financial responsibility for someone else.
There's also the matter of your sister's having Alzheimers and being incompetent to make decisions for herself. Is she incompetent?
Since you are POA, you have a fiduciary responsibility to protect your sister's assets for her own benefit.
Of course you shouldn't. That is why your sister made you her POA, so that when she was no longer able to make sound decisions for herself, that you would step up and make them for her. Well it's time to step up and make those sound decisions, and paying for her fiancé to move into the AL is not very sound. Plus with your sister having dementia she won't be in the AL much longer as sooner or later she'll have to be moved to a memory care unit or facility. As your sisters POA you are to use her money wisely and document every penny you spend and spending it on her "supposed" fiancé is not being very wise. So just tell your sister that you love her very much but that you won't be allowing her to spend her money on said fiancé.
No you do not pay for her fiance to live at the AL. Why, because Sisters money is for her care. As Alva points out, if she ever needs Medicaid, she will be penalized because she has gifted money. And paying fiances way, would be considered gifting.
I had immediate POA for Mom so never had to invoke it. No one questioned my authority. Check your POA and see if its immediate or you need a doctor to declare her incompetent to make informed decisions. If you need a doctor to declare her, get it done.
Get yourself in the mindset that you are incharge. It does not matter what sister wants or does not want, your now incharge. She is no longer capable of making decisions in her best interest.
Probably not a good idea unless the situation is exceptional.
Is she still competent at times and generally makes reasonable requests?
Can she afford it?
If her partner is a generally self supporting informal caregiver who doesn’t need care themselves, adding them to her room wouldn’t be as expensive as paying for care for a second person in another room.
Would it benefit your sister?
Would having this person with her make it more likely that she could stay in AL rather than progress to memory care or skilled nursing?
If it benefits her and she can afford it, work with an attorney to make sure it is done right.
"The key factor is whether the person with Alzheimer's has the mental capacity to understand what marriage means and the implications of entering into that commitment."
Elder Lawyer does not have the Medical Background to determine someone competent. You need to take your sister to a Neurologist and have him declare her incompetent to make informed decisions. If your POA requires this and its found she is incompetent then you take that letter to the lawyer and have your POA invoked. At that point you are in charge. If your POA is immediate, she may still be able to override u so you need that diagnosis in writing.
Really, a fiance in 4 months. You know he can't be all there either. You can get Dementia with Parkinsons. Does he have family you can talk to giving them a heads up.
I would not pay anything towards his room if they aren't married. Again, she may need Medicaid at some point, and paying for his room would be gifting.
And here's the rest of that paragraph from the browser search: "However, the capacity threshold is low..." Redrobin99, Instead of asking the attorney about the PoA and money management, ask the attorney about whether she can legally get married. Make sure to bring a copy of the diagnosis.
Another responder reminded me I missed the "alzheimer's component" here. So given that, no, she should no longer be making ANY decisions as regards her finances, bills and etc. You are POA. I will say again that it seems to me that you don't have a full understanding of POA, duties and responsibilities, so I would research all that online for your state and then see an elder law attorney to get this all activated and set up.
I just read this "fiance" is another resident. Does he also suffer from a Dementia?
I may talk to the Administrator about this. If the fiance also has Dementia maybe his POA and you could have a meeting with the Administrator present. You could voice your concerns and make sure his POA and you are on the same page. I would do the same thing if this man is competent. I would explain that your sister is asking you to pay his way. You have no idea where she got this idea but its not going to happen. You would appreciate if she she says something to him, he tell her she does not need to pay his way, he is OK. Tell him that when she asks you again you are to pay his way, you will tell her you two had a talk and he is fine financially and does not need her to pay for him. I may also ask that he not discuss marriage with her because with an ALZ diagnosis, she can't enter into a marriage.
As expressed in your last post in November, this man could be a con man. You may have to place your sister into MC eventually. Then it may be out of sight out of mind, hopefully. Or, he is running out of money and won't be there much longer.
Bboyfriend has Parkinson's and known her 4 mnths. Elder attu says she can control her $. Spoke with administrator and nixed them sharing a room. Cost to sister would have been 2000.more pm. Bf has ss only. They take 1000 pm from checking accnt. Bank says if she asks they have to give to her. She no longer speaks to me.
Does she have an actual diagnosis of ALZ? I'm asking because a diagnosis is what usually activates the authority. If your PoA authority is active, then the answer to your question is absolutely not. If your authority is no yet active, I would do this asap. Even before this happens, do whatever it takes to prevent her from doing this. How is this person a fiancee? FYI a PoA has no authority to prevent a person with dementia (even with a diagnosis) from getting married. Unbelievable, but true. Look it up to verify.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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There's also the matter of your sister's having Alzheimers and being incompetent to make decisions for herself. Is she incompetent?
Since you are POA, you have a fiduciary responsibility to protect your sister's assets for her own benefit.
Well it's time to step up and make those sound decisions, and paying for her fiancé to move into the AL is not very sound.
Plus with your sister having dementia she won't be in the AL much longer as sooner or later she'll have to be moved to a memory care unit or facility.
As your sisters POA you are to use her money wisely and document every penny you spend and spending it on her "supposed" fiancé is not being very wise.
So just tell your sister that you love her very much but that you won't be allowing her to spend her money on said fiancé.
Being POA means you are the bad guy but, you are now the authority.
I had immediate POA for Mom so never had to invoke it. No one questioned my authority. Check your POA and see if its immediate or you need a doctor to declare her incompetent to make informed decisions. If you need a doctor to declare her, get it done.
Get yourself in the mindset that you are incharge. It does not matter what sister wants or does not want, your now incharge. She is no longer capable of making decisions in her best interest.
Otherwise, how wise is a relationship where the elderly with Alzheimer's and her own needs pays for another person?
Is she still competent at times and generally makes reasonable requests?
Can she afford it?
If her partner is a generally self supporting informal caregiver who doesn’t need care themselves, adding them to her room wouldn’t be as expensive as paying for care for a second person in another room.
Would it benefit your sister?
Would having this person with her make it more likely that she could stay in AL rather than progress to memory care or skilled nursing?
If it benefits her and she can afford it, work with an attorney to make sure it is done right.
"The key factor is whether the person with Alzheimer's has the mental capacity to understand what marriage means and the implications of entering into that commitment."
Elder Lawyer does not have the Medical Background to determine someone competent. You need to take your sister to a Neurologist and have him declare her incompetent to make informed decisions. If your POA requires this and its found she is incompetent then you take that letter to the lawyer and have your POA invoked. At that point you are in charge. If your POA is immediate, she may still be able to override u so you need that diagnosis in writing.
Really, a fiance in 4 months. You know he can't be all there either. You can get Dementia with Parkinsons. Does he have family you can talk to giving them a heads up.
I would not pay anything towards his room if they aren't married. Again, she may need Medicaid at some point, and paying for his room would be gifting.
So given that, no, she should no longer be making ANY decisions as regards her finances, bills and etc.
You are POA.
I will say again that it seems to me that you don't have a full understanding of POA, duties and responsibilities, so I would research all that online for your state and then see an elder law attorney to get this all activated and set up.
I just read this "fiance" is another resident. Does he also suffer from a Dementia?
I may talk to the Administrator about this. If the fiance also has Dementia maybe his POA and you could have a meeting with the Administrator present. You could voice your concerns and make sure his POA and you are on the same page. I would do the same thing if this man is competent. I would explain that your sister is asking you to pay his way. You have no idea where she got this idea but its not going to happen. You would appreciate if she she says something to him, he tell her she does not need to pay his way, he is OK. Tell him that when she asks you again you are to pay his way, you will tell her you two had a talk and he is fine financially and does not need her to pay for him. I may also ask that he not discuss marriage with her because with an ALZ diagnosis, she can't enter into a marriage.
As expressed in your last post in November, this man could be a con man. You may have to place your sister into MC eventually. Then it may be out of sight out of mind, hopefully. Or, he is running out of money and won't be there much longer.