A new thread was started today by an out-of-state/distant sibling who clearly, and with the best of intentions, "only wants to help." Her mother has dementia and hearing loss and lives in an ALF, with her main caregivers being the poster's two brothers. The OP's attempts to replace a lost hearing aid, and to get to the bottom of why visits from a paid professional had been discontinued, had not gone down well with the primary caregiver; she was seeking suggestions on how to pursue these two topics without creating additional conflict and ill-feeling. Which set me to musing on the "helpful" things people had done, items they'd brought, which in spite of their good intentions had rather misfired. The brilliant snazzy new rollator - which was too wide for mother's rooms. The electronic photo frame which changed image every ten seconds and confused the heck out of her. The beautiful coffee table book that she couldn't lift, or hold on her knee. The clever cordless headphones, which made her look like she was chief flying officer on a 757 but had buttons too small for 90 year old fingers... If I had to pick just one, it would be the enormous cardboard carton delivered by courier on her birthday. I guessed plant? Flower arrangement? And went to get the scissors. A few swift swipes and the box burst open - sending HAPPY BIRTHDAY helium balloons into every corner of the room. The cat almost cr*pped herself and sprinted off. I fell over backwards, and then realised I'd have to round the dam' things up again... Was Mother pleased? I told my niece she was thrilled. Mm. Not the serious, painful things, the undermining or risky meddling or (God forbid) going to law; but what well-meant gifts and gestures have tripled your caregiving workload?